Going through life as a *victim* is a dead end and lonely way to live. It is common among people who have been abused, or people who tend to have a co-dependent personality. It is even common among people who fall into neither of those categories! It is something many people simply choose to develop over time. It is also something that a person can change if they work on it over time. The reward is a feeling of empowerment and being in charge of your life, as well as a sense of self-love and respect that will affect everyone around you, and give you a much better chance at personal and professional success and contentment.

1. Learn to ask for what you need and want at the time you need or want it.

2. Learn to say "No" *without any feelings of guilt.* Creating guilt helps keep the victim stuck being a victim.

3. Get into action! Quit complaining and blaming and start *doing*.

4. Quit blaming other people or events for your life situation and problems. Everyone has a life/situation *story* to tell. What matters is what you are doing with your life *now* to get what you need and want and to solve your problems.

5. Don't let others speak for you. Speak for yourself! You know how you feel. Let others know!

6. Forgive *everyone* in your life who you feel has ever hurt you (including yourself). Then *let it go* and stay in the *present* time period and stay out of the past and future.

7. Decide what you are good at and love to do personally and professionally and go after it until you are doing it.

8. Stay away from negative thinking, speaking and acting people or people who continually dump their problems on you. Associate with people who have the kind of success, attitude and qualities that you want to have yourself.

9. Build up a healthy self-esteem by doing what you like, having some successes, using your God-given skills and taking credit for all that you do. Learn to say thank you to every compliment!

10. Develop a plan to become responsible emotionally, financially, and physically. Once you are in control of those areas, you will feel in control and will not tend to attract people who want to take care of you or who will see you as a *victim* in need of help