| A day in the life for me is exciting, rewarding, joyful as well as painful. Exhausting to say the least. My early rising from bed to see the precious sleeping faces of my children is my cold shower and coffee rolled into one. I am wide awake and in awe of these two amazing creatures that have touched my life like no other. How did I get so lucky? What will today be like, I wonder? What new and amazing things will my children do today? Hmmmm....I wonder? Jump in for my two-second shower and get ready for the day. "Charity......time to get up!!!!!!!" Covers go over the head. "One more minute Mom." Look across the hall and Matthew looks so peaceful. "Charity...come on....time to get up!!!!!!" "UGH..MOM!!!!" I go to Matthew's room. "Matthew"...."No" he replies as if he is already awake. "I tired. Sleep!" I laugh!!!!!!! "Matthew it is time to get up." Matthew replies angrily "NO..I TIRED!!!!!!" Go back to Charity's room "CHARITY, GET UP NOW YOUR GOING TO RUN LATE!!!!!!!" Charity rolls out of bed grumpy. "Gosh Mom you don't have to yell!" "Huh" I say to myself. "Charity breakfast is on the table." "OK!" Go back to Matthew's room and lay on his bed. "Matthew it is time to get up" I say...... He looks at me with his beautiful blue eyes and says "I want oatmeal." "Lets go get oatmeal", and off we go for breakfast. "WAIT!" Matthew runs back to his room and grabs Buzz Lightyear, Woody and Pooh characters. "Toy story 2 book where are you?" he asks. "Matthew come on." Matthew starts to grumble. "OK, I will help you." By the time he is done we each have a hand full of stuff trying to maneuver down the stairs. Things start to fall out of Matthew's hands he gets upset and I help him. We finally make it to the kitchen and Charity is still hungry. "Get a granola bar T!" I don't even get her entire name out, just a letter. OK, fix Matthew's oatmeal and help him with the spoon. Thirty minutes later time for Charity to go to school. "Come on T your going to be late!!!!!!! Geesh why do we have to go through this every morning? School isn't a beauty contest you know." "Mom, calm down." "Do you have all of your homework?" "YES!" "Do you have your lunch money?" "YES!" "Do you have all your books?" "YES!" "Your tag is sticking out of your shirt Charity." "Thanks." Out the door she heads. "HEY!" "WHAT?" CHARITY ASKS. "DID YOU FORGET SOMETHING?" "Noooooo I gave you a kiss in the kitchen." "OH! I love you." "I love you too." "Have a nice day." "OK." "Stay away from the bullies." "I know! BYE!" "BYE sweetie!" OK, Charity is off to school. Get Matthew ready and the day begins. Grab a granola bar for myself, Nina rings the door bell and she and Matthew get to work. I run upstairs to the office. 'YOU GOT MAIL!' Read and reply. Search information on educational programs. Check message board. Wow, another Mom just got a diagnosis. What in the world is going on? I know how she feels. Hey, there are all of my autism buddies. Great posts. Reply to some. Oh gosh an hour is up already! Talk to Nina about what Matthew accomplished today. All right! My smart boy. "Great Job Matthew!" Now, speech, OT, PT, some ABA, rock N learn videos so I can cook, clean, go over the bills, pay bills. Put Matthew down for nap. Check e-mails, message board, and do some searches. Tony works nights so I get some help. THANK GOD!!!!!! Time to pick up Charity. Wow, time flies. I still have so much to do. OK, regroup. Laundry! I cannot get over how much clothes I have to wash every week. UGH! Matthew needs fresh air. Lets go play outside. Oh, today is the Y. OK come on we have to go. Check calendar and make sure I haven't missed anything. Oh no we have a doctors appointment tomorrow. Matthew's nephrologist. Hmmm, I wonder how these tests will come out? "Hey Charity, don't let me forget we have your dental appointment Thursday." "OK." Go to Y. Whispers about Matthew by other Mom's. "HUH, whisper all you want. My kid can read and yours can't" I say to myself. That was mean of me. Oh well. I am worse than a kid. Matthew doing his own thing as usual. Doesn't care for the company of other kids. That's OK as long as he is happy. He is so smart. Look at him. OK times up. Time to go back home. "Mom can we go to the 7-eleven?" "Sure Charity." Charity is so patient. I cannot say no. She doesn't complain about anything and her life has changed dramatically since Matthew's dx. She is such a wonderful kid. So there is homework and chores and more chores and more chores. Then we sit and read. Matthew's pick tonight. Toy story 2 AGAIN! CHARITY DOESN'T SAY A WORD. SHE KNOWS IT VERBATIM BUT DOESN'T COMPLAIN. "OK guys time for bed." Big hug and kiss to Charity. "You know I love you right Charity?" "Yes Mom." "You know you can always tell me anything right?" "Yes." "How was school?" "GREAT!" "I am very proud of you." SHE SMILES. "I am sorry if I was nasty today." "It's OK" she says. "I understand." "I am sorry I yelled today." "ALL MOM'S YELL!" I laugh. Then she tells me a story of a child she knows that gets hit or abused in some other form by the parents. I tell her that that is horrible and sad. She then says "I love you Mom" and gives me another hug. Off she goes to bed. I think to myself that I am not so bad after all. I am human and I yell, but I would never say hurtful things or strike my children. I feel bad for kids that are abused and hurt in any way. Then I pick up my little munchkin Matthew and give him lots of hugs and kisses. I tell him how proud I am of him, how smart he is and that now it is time for bed. I lay down with him and sing him to sleep. He is so beautiful. I love him so much. What a beautiful little boy I have. I am so fortunate to have him in my life. Another kiss and I check on Charity. She is reading a book. "Charity get to bed it is late. You are going to be tired in the morning." "One more minute Mom this is a good part." "Hurry up." I go to the office. 'YOU GOT MAIL!' Read and reply. Check message board. Search about autism in the news. Think we need more awareness. We need research. We need better programs. We need a better system in place for newly diagnosed children and parents. When is someone going to get off their butts and do something? I am getting tired. Gessh 1 a.m. already. Tony is home. "Hey how was your day" I ask. "Good" he replies, "and yours?" "The usual" I reply. "Oh, guess what Matthew did today?" "What?" And I tell him. "Guess what Charity did?" "What?" And I tell him. "I am exhausted" Tony says. "Me too, but I can't get to sleep." We talk for a few minutes. We manage to fit an entire day into 30 minutes and off to bed we go. Oh, let me check on the kids. My babies : ) Check all the doors and locks. Make sure security system is on. Crawl into bed. My mind is racing with everything that has happened today. All of a sudden the alarm makes me rise up and it is morning. I LOVE MY LIFE : ) Vikki |
| What is my day like? I get such great joy from Thomas. I love to watch him play. At one time he didn't know how. I still get a "high" off of seeing him get on and get off the school bus. At first he was so terrified and couldn't understand, that I use to have to go with him. I love to put in a video for him, even if it's the same one that we've been watching every day for a month! There was a time when he didn't seem too interested in them. I love when he turns ALL the lights on for sensory input. I remember when he didn't have the fine motor skills to turn the switch. I love listening to him talk, even tho he stutters. What a wonderful feeling to have a conversation with your child. I love being around Thomas because he is so sweet, so innocent, so literal, so straight-forward, so loving, so lovable, and just so plain ole cute!! He is however very tiring. He never stops all day long, with the exception of watching one of his shows. He needs your constant attention. He gets frustrated when someone interrupts him, but is unaware of interrupting others. He needs to transition everytime someone enters the house. He becomes hyper and out of control until the transition is over. He cleans up by piling things high or lining things up. He needs to go thru his whole bathtub ritual no matter how exhausted I am at the end of the day. His Dad and his brother can't understand his behaviors at times and always seem to make the outburst worse. Or if I finally get him to calm down, they just don't seem to realize how not to start it up again. Life with Thomas is very hard at times, but I cherish every moment with him. God has given me the greatest gifts I could have ever imagined when he gave me my sons. Sometimes I look at other people and I feel bad for them because Danny and Thomas are my kids. I can't imagine how other people get along without knowing the happiness of having them as their sons! Anonymous |
| A Day In The Life, A Day In The Life, A Day In The Life |
| I have an 8 year old son, diagnosed since he was 2. (I could say that I am a "seasoned" parent dealing with his diagnosis). I could give advice on anti-seizure, anti-fungals, anti-viral meds, high dose vitamin therapy, ABA, etc... but that's not what I must know. I must know what the day in the life is like for those who also deal with this. I suppose I could seek out support groups (done so years ago), but I am just curious to hear others daily life (comfort in numbers?). I spend a lot of my day engaging with my son in his world, so I feel incredibly alone, and yet from the numbers here, I know that I am not. But where are you? You see, I am the one who spends hours at a mall watching the elevators run, making sure vacuums sit in a neat tidy row. The one who spends their money to watch the play helicopter run for the mere joy of watching it go up and down, who visits each store in the same pattern each time never going off path, going to restaurants that only serve hotdogs. The one who intervenes if a "normal" child tries to conversate; really only in fear that my son will say something completely off the wall. The one who is never ceased to be amazed by their child on a daily basis, even for the simplest tasks. I am just curious to know what your day is like, I really just need to know. Thank you Anonymous |
| I stumbled upon the following question, in which a parent of an Autistic child had once asked: "Where are you?" I realized this question could serve as a 'window' to place into this website, to give others an idea of what it is like to raise an Autistic child, and for those of us who have Autistic children to know we truly are not alone. I have been granted permission from each of these wonderful parents to place their 'lives' onto this site in hope of educating others. After reading these beautiful responses, I am confident that you will obtain an understanding of our world. I want to thank everyone who so graciously allowed me to place their comments on our website. My boys and I truly appreciate each of you! Now ... sit back, grab a cup of your favorite thirst-quencher, and peek into the window of our daily lives! And please, no tapping on the glass, we don't need any distractions! :) |
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| My son is 3 years old. I spend a lot of my time touching and smelling everything like he does. Spring is here, and I have some daffodils coming up from the ground in the front yard. :-) Today I'm going to teach him how to wash the car. If it's nice enough (which I kinda doubt) we'll get each other wet with the hose. I want him to get used to having a shower of water over him, so what better time for him than in his favorite place, outside. I'm trying to remember what it's like to be 3 years old again. I'm trying to remember what it's like to be 7 years old again, 'cause that's how old my daughter is. My kids are on spring break, and since he's not in school, Zack doesn't have Autism right now. Zack is a 3 year old boy that is spending his waking hours this morning indulging in some apple juice while I indulge in some cinnamon coffee. He's watching Blues Clues while I'm visiting the boards. Valerie is visiting her father today, so once I'm done here, and Blues Clues is over, Zack and I will be having fun together. I like to give him his "alone" time early in the day, because he needs time to explore without my guidance. I keep an eye on him though, so I can find out what interests him. The Easter Bunny brought some baskets for the kids yesterday. We'll be touching the plastic grass and chocolate and fuzzy stuffed animals today. We'll be putting on spring jackets today. We'll be having grilled cheese for lunch. I will be bringing out the tricycle for him a little later. That's where I'm at. Pamela |
| My turn: 6:45 (or thereabouts): Awake to the sound of my 5 year old song bird, singing away. Soon, the song gets louder. Stumble out of bed, grumble at songbird to not wake up her brothers. Grab a cup of coffee. Find my songbird, give her a hug, tell her how beautifully she sings and apologize for being so grumpy in the morning. Get myself dressed, make sure all the lunches are packed, school papers are in order, etc. go wake up the boys. Ask everyone to get dressed. Ask again. Yell at everyone. End up helping the boys get dressed. Ask everyone what they want for breakfast. No response. Ask again. Get response, "I'm thinking." Get annoyed. Set timer and tell everyone they have 2 minutes to think, then I decide. Morning continues with me yelling "hurry up." Drive 8 year old to the corner. Give him one last reminder about making good choices and being a good listener, hug and kiss and send him off. Give a quick wave to his aide waiting on the other side of the street. Spend the morning with my daughter, while 4 year old son is in preschool. Spend the afternoon with my son while my daughter is in kindergarten. In between, cook, clean, laundry, errands, etc. After dinner, the fun starts: Try desperately to keep 8 year old focused enough to do homework. Try hard to convince him teacher's way is the way it needs to be done. Try to calm his tantrums. Feel guilty for yelling when it gets bad. Worry that because of his autism, he doesn't understand why I am angry. Apologize to son. Move on to next child... Then, there are the arguments with my daughter, who I have to tell everything a minimum of 8 times, and still she doesn't listen. I get angry. She gets angry. She cries. Then I realize that because she has ADHD she probably can't help these things. I feel guilty and cry. Find my daughter, tell her she is so special and even when I am angry I love her more than anything. All the while, the 4 year old is either goading big brother and sister on, or patting himself on the back for being a good listener. Tell 4 year old not to break his arm patting himself on the back. Remind him he has to pick up his toys. Yell at him when he throws a tantrum. Tell him, "see mommy can throw tantrums, too!" Toys get picked up. Everyone has a snack. Later, hubby & I divide and conquer bedtime. I take 2 , he takes 1: Jammies, brush teeth, potty, bedtime story. Tell them we love them, and tuck them into bed. I spend a few hours with my husband, then go to bed kind of early myself. But, before I do, I thank God for the wonderful blessings he has given me and ask for patience and strength for one more day. Anonymous |
| Which kind of day do you want? The ones when I hold my temper and remain patient with both my kids, or the ones when I lose it and have to apologize to them? The great majority of our days are wonderful! On the good days, I don't get annoyed at answereing the same question a million times. I have infinite patience at homework time, and never tell my typically developing 3 1/2 year old to "just be quiet for 2 minutes"- she is a chatterbox! On the good days I am a calm referee in the sibling wars we are starting to have (rejoicing in the fact that Patrick is understanding the interaction needed to fight with his little sister!) On the bad days- I "lose it" over homework and end up taking my own deep breaths and flapping my hands (these are Patrick's coping mechanisms and BOY do they help! LOL) On the bad days I lose patience with the constant ? and end up apologizing. BUT .... on all the days I am amazed at my KIDS - they are sweet, loving and happy - they bring a joy and happiness to my life that I never could have imagined! Yes, this is a hard job, but I wouldn't quit if I could! Mary |
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| Footnote from Pamela: Zack is not Autism. Zack is 3 years old. He has a sister named Valerie that is 7 years old. His mom is 31 and his dad is 29. He's a boy that is going to learn how to ride a tricycle this summer. He is a young boy that enjoys going for long walks, rain or shine. He is a boy who's thoughts differ a lot from the norm. He is a child who makes up his own pace about a lot of things. Sometimes he doesn't like my pace. We all love each other. |
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| If you have your own day that you would like to share, please feel free to send me an E-mail, using the button below, and I will add your day to this page! Please keep the subject line as is, otherwise, I won't know what it is concerning, and just delete it! |
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