| The Dominant Species
As much as it may bother me to admit it, men are not the dominant species. Men are not the heads of their households. Anything a guy does, he does because a woman told him he was allowed to. Otherwise he pays�dearly. But anyone reading this knows this, whether they�ll admit it or not. The big question here is, why? Men are generally taller, heavier, and stronger than women. So why is it that what the five-foot-nothing, hundred pound girl says goes? Why is her six-five, two-hundred seventy pound weightlifter boyfriend completely petrified of her? When I was little and was watching the different sitcoms, I saw the men on there always being afraid of their wives when they got mad. I never understood it, and I knew that I would never act like that. If you asked me to list my top ten fears, a pissed off girl would take up the first nine spaces, and the tenth would be a girl that�s not pissed. If I could continue on, the next several slots would be a girl who�s in a good mood. And if I had to choose between being locked in a room with ten rabid, starving wolves, or one girl going through PMS (which is a joke in itself) I�d take the wolves. I�m dead either way, but the wolves will be a much less painful death. So�what is it about those seemingly sweet girls that petrify guys everywhere? Well, I�ll admit that when I started writing this, I had no fricking clue. But I think thanks to the X-files episode I�ve been watching, I found the answer. People have always been afraid of the unknown. What we don�t understand scares the crap out of us. If you want to know why, do some research and let me know. But when you think about it, this has been true for years, and I don�t mean ten years or twenty years, I�m talking about hundreds of years, and actually thousands of years, but my examples don�t go back that far. Think about one of the things sailors used to be afraid of. Sea monsters. Now who the heck is afraid of sea monsters? They don�t exist. Well, they were really afraid of what was out farther in the ocean, the unknown. The Puritans were infamous for burning witches, and a lot of them were just herbalists. The Puritans didn�t understand how the herbs could be mixed and used for healing, so obviously it was evil spirits and spells. Again, the unknown was the cause of great fear. Ghosts scare the crap out of people today. So do aliens, and the list goes on and on, but I�m out of examples. The whole purpose of this novella is to educate guys on the strange things their female friends and girlfriends do. Obviously if guys understood girls, there would be no reason to explain them, so it�s just another instance of the unknown. The average guy knows next to nothing about girls. There are roughly two exceptions. The average guy knows that he�s really good at pissing girls off, and he knows that if he begs long enough (and sends flowers) they�ll usually forgive him. That�s not a very wide knowledge base. So if history really repeats itself, and every history teacher I�ve ever had claims it does, guys fear girls because they confuse the heck out of us. Frankly most guys know more about ghosts and aliens and all that other crap than they do about girls. So logically, this is why they�re more afraid of girls than anything else. By the way, for any conspiracy theorists out there, I�ve got a lead for you. I think women realized that the unknown scares people, so they do all kinds of weird things to confuse guys, and ultimately get the upper hand. Just a thought. |