| Let�s Go Shopping!
Okay, but I had better not be driving or this car might go over a bridge to save me from that torture. What is the female fascination with shopping? New clothes are the same as your old ones; they just look a little different. Either way, you still wear a shirt on your upper body, pants and skirts on your legs, and shoes on your feet, so they�re really not that much different. But really�if you have clothes to wear, why buy new ones? I understand souvenirs and things like that, but get those when you are actually somewhere where there is a point to buying them (i.e. not the local mall.) Moreover, the more important thing is why do you bring us along? Why do you ask us for our opinions? The average male eyes can decipher (with difficulty, mind you) the difference between shorts, skirts, shirts, and shoes. Beyond that, we are lost. We have no idea what a blouse is, pants are just shorts that do not show enough of your legs, and a dress is just a poorly designed skirt that we cannot see under when you are walking up stairs (that is about the one thing dealing with clothing we have figured out). There is another very important thing to note SHOPPING ISN�T A SPORT! You really do not have to compete with the other girls around you to see who can buy the largest amount of the most expensive stuff. Remember, guys cannot tell a $10 piece of clothing from a $100 piece of clothing. So really�if you are buying expensive, designer brands, the only people you are going to impress are other girls. Shopping is also not a test of endurance; we do not need to find out who can spend the longest amount of time in the store. Honest, we believe you can spend days in there with no trouble; you do not have to prove it. Now, with that being said, shopping is most definitely not a spectator sport. In other words, let us at home. There is absolutely nothing to do while you are trying on clothes, and it is possibly the most boring thing in the world. Another thing that most women do not seem to realize�the little numbers, usually on the tag are sizes. If you learn that special number that fits you, you do not have to try on everything you see. When a guy shops (usually because a girl forced him to), he finds something that the tag says fits him and buys it. Only rarely do you actually have to try something on. We also do not want you along with us when we are shopping for clothes. That is annoying. �What do you think of this one? Oh, this one is nice! How about this?� Meanwhile we�re wondering where the extra arms came from that she�s using to hold up ten to fifteen things that she�s going to want us to try on, then walk out of the dressing room so she can see how it looks. So�why is this all done? Girls are never satisfied with anything they have. They are never sure of what they want when they actually have a choice, when they have it they do not want it, and when they cannot have it, they really want it. It goes back to their self-esteem, which is extraordinarily low. It has to be constantly boosted by compliments from others about their clothes, or they can actually slip into depression. It is not a pretty scene, but a girl without new clothes is like a girl with no reason to live. This is yet another reason that the female �gender� is actually the female species. This topic is being further studied, as the logical male minds that have been researching the topics for this book are still very confused regarding this topic. |