Don't Say a Quote
Source: Whose Line Is It Anyway
Actual Quote: Drew is announcing the show and the fact that the points don't mean a thing (which they don't).
Drew: "The points don't mean a thing, like when I say 'I love you' when I'm drunk."
At this, Wayne becomes shocked.
Wayne: "NO!" (begins crying... sort of)
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Quote Number Two
Source: A Verizon Wireless commercial (yes, I know that is very sad)
Actual Quote: The really annoying guy is walking around different places with his cell phone and every few steps he will stop and say: "Can you hear me now? Good!"
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Quote Number Three
Source: Motocrossed (a little Disney Channel original movie, rather cute really)
Actual Quote: Okay, you've got this girl Andy, who is dressed like a guy to take her brother's place in a series of motocross races. This guy Dean is talking to her and after he leaves Andy's mom comes along.
Andy's mom: "Well, I think that was the cutest boy ever."
Andy (not happy, not happy at all): "Yeah, if I wasn't the second cutest."
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Quote Number Four
Source: Whose Line Is It Anyway
Actual Quote: In the game Newsflash, Colin was the reporter and Ryan was one of the people in the studio. One of the things on the green screen behind Colin was a giant explosion, complete with mushroom cloud.
Ryan: "Colin, I remember when you left the studio, you had hair."
Colin (becoming rather irate): "Yeah, what do you mean by that Stickboy?"
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Quote Number Five
Source: Up, Up and Away (another Disney original)
Actual Quote: Okay, you've got this family of superheroes. And they have just defeated the bad guys and the father begins to talk to the mother about the laundry.
Father superhero dude: "Honey, would this be a bad time to talk about the laundry? You're putting too much starch in my tights."
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Quote Number Six
Source: Smart Guy
Actual Quote: Marcus, Macky, TJ, and Moe are all mad that a prank that they were trying to pull on the seniors has failed. Macky had had a plan to run across the stage naked in the middle of graduation, but of course, he was shot down on that one.
Macky: "If we had just gone with my plan, then I would be on that stage naked right now and we would have our dignity back."
Marcus: "Macky, I'm gonna tell you this cause you're my boy. Nobody is ever going to want to see you naked."
Macky (heartbroken): "Not even when I'm married?"
Marcus (shouting): "Never!"
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Quote Number Seven
Source: Spongebob Squarepants
Actual Quote: Mr. Crabs is trying to get this very valuable hat off of Spongebob so he can pawn it off.
Mr. Crabs: "Spongebob, I didn't want to say this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl."
Spongebob (eyes all dewy, grinning widely): "Am I a pretty girl?"
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Quote Number Eight
Source: Drive Me Crazy
Actual Quote: Nicole has just bought Chase some new clothes from the Gap and on his first day wearing them to school, nobody is taking it seriously.
Chase: "Oh, this is real convincing. I'm a walking punch line."
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Quote Number Nine
Source: Dracula, Dead and Loving It
Actual Quote: Lucy has just caught Renfield lifting up the sheets to her bed and looking at her. After being thrown back into his little cell at the sanitarium he is trying to convince the guard that he saw nothing.
Renfield: "I didn't see anything! I didn't see anything!" (after being left alone in the cell) "I saw everything."
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Quote Number Ten
Source: the absolute, best ever, episode of Boy Meets World
Actual Quote: The cast is in a parody of horror films. So far, Kenny has died after having a very large pencil stabbed through his head (it really is an ironic death, but you'd have to have seen the episode) and Mr. Finney has just died as well. The cast is now in a classroom wondering what to do next.
Angela: "Is any one of us safe?"
Shawn: "Virgins. Virgins are always safe."
Cory: "Alright! Thanks for saving me Topanga."
Eric (sounding incredibly proud of himself): "I'm dead!"
Jack (sounding rather bored): "I'm dead."
Shawn: "I'll get as sick as you can get without actually dying."
Angela: "But Mr. Finney is dead."
Jack, Shawn, and Eric all look at each other for a moment before doing a little dance and chanting: "Go Finney! Go Finney! Go, go, go Finney!"