>>The Method Behind The Madness: One of Them, Anyway, Because There Are Certainly Several or The Very Interesting Idea
First of all, did you know that the word �pants� is not used ONE SINGLE TIME in �The Lord of the Rings�? Can you believe that?! Isn�t that TERRIBLE?! But be strong. We will bear this injustice no longer. This page is dedicated to achieving equal rights for all nouns (or at least the noun �pants�) in �The Lord of the Rings.�
All right, just want to know what�s going on? Hurry up and read!
�Okay,� you say as you click on the link to The Lord of the Pants Page. �This certainly looks interesting. I wonder what it�s about!� You immediately click on the most interesting link,
�What the heck is this?� you ask, puzzled. ��Strangers from distant lands, pants of old�? �You�ve been into Farmer Maggot�s pants�? �The Pants must be destroyed�?! What?! Something here must be messed up!!�
Well, no, actually it�s not. But maybe you are, if you said all that out loud. Someone�s probably staring at you now or something, wondering, �What�s wrong with this freak?� I mean, talking to yourself is okay, but there is a limit, you know? I mean, come on.
But anyway, here�s the deal about this site, and also The Lord of the Pants in general:
To put it simply, we take the noun(s) in a line from �The Lord of the Rings� and replace it with the word �pants� or �pair (of pants).� Hence, �The Lord of the Pants: The Fellowship of the Pants/The Two Pants/The Return of the Pants.� Sound weird? It�s pretty funny.
Here�s an example from �The Fellowship of the Pants�: Gimli: Well, here is one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the pants of a fox! The word �pants� replaces the actual noun from the movie, �ears.�
Note (for all of you who just can�t remember and are too afraid to ask): A noun is a person, place, thing, or idea, such as dog, house, Florida, ring, elf, dark lord, etc.
We used the terms Pants and Pair (of pants), capitalized, to indicate that the noun being replaced was the One Ring, so you know when it�s being referred to instead of a bunch of other random nouns.
In this version of the classic story, �The Lord of the Pants,� Frodo and his eight companions have set out to destroy the Pants of Power, an evil and magical pair of pants that were forged by the dark Lord Sauron. Whenever someone puts on these magical Pants, he/she turns invisible. Sauron�s pants were taken from him by Isildur, son of the King, when Sauron was defeated three thousand years ago in battle. But now the Pants of Power have resurfaced in the Shire, and Sauron is again regaining strength. Hobbits Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin travel with elf Legolas, dwarf Gimli, wizard Gandalf, and men Aragorn and Boromir to Mount Doom to destroy the Pants, which can only be unmade by being cast into the fiery chasm from whence they came. And plus, some other fun stuff happens.
What a mouthful. For a much funnier and more interesting version, go click on
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