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| Constant Craving |
| Jesup Alexander and Matthew Essex were destined to be the best of friends. Their fathers, Nikolas and Liam, were extremely close, so it was expected that the next generation carry on the tradition of friendship between the Alexanders & the Essexes. But this cameraderie was much more. Jesup (Jesse) had developed deep feelings for Matthew as a teenager. They both were struggling with their own homosexuality and as time passed, Jesse realized that he wanted more from Matthew than a mere friendship. He never got the chance to tell him just how he felt. Now as young adults, the two men remain friends and have moved on to other relationships, but those past lustful feelings are still there whenever they're in a room together. One day when Jesse brings his bike into Matthew's garage to be repaired, those feelings erupt into a full blown volcanoe of emotions. It's the start of a passion that's long overdue. |
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| As I was walking my bike down the sidewalk, colorful profanity mingled with my breaths. Stupid piece of shit bike. I had spent all my money and frustrations on it and it still wouldn't work right. Then again, nothing had been going right since Aaron and I broke up. I loved Aaron and he treated me so good, but I guess no relationship was ever going to work for me until I got over my first love: Matthew Essex. I drew a deep breath as I entered the entrance of Matthew's garage. I hated walking in on him and his high school lover, Donovan. It made me sick to my stomach, but jealousy tends to do that to a person. "You two got clothes on right?" I hollered out with my eyes partially closed. When they opened fully I could see my question had startled him. He was always such a focused man when it came to vehicles and mechanical projects. "Like you wouldn't want to watch. What you want perv?" he asked, wiping his greased palms with a nearby piece of cloth. God he was incredibly sexy. Beautiful mahagony eyes that always lit up when I looked at him and that hair, perfect charcoal strands that my fingers ached to dance through. And that smile--God I craved him. "It's officially summer in L.A" I said, propping my bike against the door and approaching him. "What are you going on about and what happened to this thing this time?" he inquired, walking past me to examine the bike. I took my hand and brushed it through his soft hair. "Every summer your hair gets lighter--more brown than black really." He chuckled lightly and turned to face me. "I didn't know you paid that much attention to my hair." "Yeah well that's just me. You gonna help me or what?" I let my hand drop slowly and began to bite down on my bottom lip. "You're hopeless Jes. Bring it over here. How you holding up now that Aaron's moved out completely?" I felt a slight chill go up my spine as I thought of the night our relationship fell apart. It's amazing how one name can change the whole course of events: "Matthew? Tell me you didn't just call me Matthew while you're fucking me?" I remembered Aaron yelling as he lept out of the bed. "I'm doing ok, I guess. Nothing I can do about it now." I finally replied. "I never really thought Aaron was the type of a guy you're usually attracted to." remarked Matthew as he began examining the bike. "What's that supposed to mean?" Matthew turned, his gaze narrowing a bit. "Don't get bent out of shape. I just never seen you into the jock type. So what you do this time?" he asked with a sly smirk on his face. I pulled up a chair and kept him company while he worked. "Why you assuming it was my fault?" "Cause ever time you two fight it usually is. Jes move so I can get by." he playfully snapped, kicking my feet down off the work bench. "Let's just say some things from our past keep getting in the way and we just couldn't fix it." I watched him pause at my statement. He bit his lip appearing to be plainly uncomfortable by what I had said. He couldn't have known I was talking about my feelings for him--did he? "There's no hope for me so there's no need to talk about it." That made him laugh and flashed his striking grin my way. "Well I've always known that." "Fuck you Matthew." "Yeah yeah Jes." he remarked, glancing down at his watch. "You got somewhere to be? "No. Donovan wanted me to go with him to pick out curtains." he said in a low tone. "Wait wait wait a damn minute here. Curtains for what?" I inquired, my interest throughly peaked. Matthew stopped and pulled up a chair, turning around and straddling the seat. "Curtains for my apartment--and not a word from you." My brows furrowed. "Jesus Christ Matthew, he's not even finish with high school yet and you're moving him in with you?" "Did I say that? He's just re-decorating." snapped Matthew, sighing deeply. "Why do you have such a problem with Donovan?" "He's too young for you." "No, you're just jealous. Listen, I'll have to get to this later. I need to get this car finsihed for a customer." said Matthew as he stood and approached the hood of the Mustang he was working on before I interrupted him. I don't know what came over me. Maybe the years of lusting for him had taken its toll on me and my inhibitions had all gone out the window. I rose to my feet and walked up behind him. "Maybe I am." I whispered into his ear, my hand gradually slipping around his waist. |
| Story Told by Jesse Alexander |