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Barbara gently brushed a wisp of hair from her daughter�s face while she slept. Abe turned over without waking.

She had watched her daughter withdraw more and more since picking her up at the airport. Her heart broke, but she was at a loss for what to do. This was new territory for all of them.

The closest they had come to this situation was Abe�s senior prom. Even thinking back on it now made Barbara do a slow burn. Abe had wanted to attend prom, though she hadn�t admitted it to anyone or dared hope. That is until, Michele�s date got the idea to have one of their mutual friends, James, take her. Even though James was only on the peripheral of her friends, they had always gotten along. For Abe it wasn�t about romance, it was about being with her friends.

As prom night drew closer, Abe anxiously waited for James to call and finalize everything. Four days prior to the prom, Barbara watched her daughter swallow what little pride she had and call James. She listened as the girl explained this was only a friend�s thing. She didn�t expect him to be her boyfriend; she just wanted to go have fun with her friends. Without hearing anymore of the conversation, she knew her little girl was not going to prom.

Looking back, she realized that was the final straw. Abe dreamed of a career in the music business, but she was still on the fence about actually leaving the safety of home to pursue it. After prom, she began counting the days until she was gone.

Now it was just the opposite. She was retreating. The previous evening at dinner, she had surprised both her parents by asking if they would mind her moving home.

While she loved having her at home, she couldn�t stand to see her spirit so broken. Since Christmas, their relationship had been steadily improving. Not wanting to jeopardize the headway they had made, she had not pushed. However, a pattern was quickly establishing itself. Most nights she would wake to hear her daughter roaming the house. She spent most of her days sleeping.

Something had to be done; she was scheduled to leave in two days and needed to pull herself together. Barbara resigned herself to the fact she would have to be the catalyst, which meant tough love was about to happen.

Popping her daughter sharply on the bottom, she said, �Get up.�

Startled, Abe sat straight up on her knees. �I�m up! What�s going on?�

�Nothing�s going on. It is time for you to get up.�

�Mom,� she whined as she stretched back out on her stomach. �I didn�t go to sleep until 4:30.�

�I�m perfectly aware of that, but you also didn�t wake up until 2:00 yesterday afternoon.�

�So?�

�Don�t argue with me. Get up and come downstairs.�

Abe didn�t move.

�Don�t make me come back in that room young lady,� her mother called from the hall.

Abe growled, but she dragged herself out of bed.

Barbara bit her lip to keep from laughing, when her daughter stumbled into the kitchen. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt with a photograph of babies dressed up as reindeer and old, faded sweatpants. The sweatpants were twisted and one leg was pushed up above the knee. Her hair was tangled up. She was rubbing her eyes like she did when she was little. Taking a seat at the table, a scowl was firmly in place.

Abe watched her mother make a grocery list. Was this why she had to get up? She couldn�t believe her mother woke her up just to ignore her. The wall clock ticked off the seconds as the silence continued. Her foot started to bounce as she became more and more agitated. She didn�t notice that her mother�s foot was also bouncing. They remained this way until Abe worked herself up enough.

�Just say it mother,� spat Abe.

�Say what,� replied Barbara, not looking up from her list.

�I told you so.�

�I have no reason to.�

�It�s never stopped you before.�

Laying her pen down, Barbara looked at her daughter. �I know you�re hurting.�

�I�m fine.� Folding her arms across her chest and looking away. Her body went still.

�No you�re not.�

Abe shrugged.

Barbara challenged, �I told you so.�

Abe stared at her.

She tried again. �I was right and you were wrong.�

�What are you doing?�

�I�m trying to get my daughter back. If that means telling you I told you so, then so be it.�

�You�ve snapped.�

�No I haven�t. You are not my daughter. My daughter would never give up and run home to hide.�

Abe�s voice began to rise. �I thought you would be happy! I was doing what you always wanted. I�m coming home to be just like you.�

�I don�t want that.�

Shock covered Abe�s face. �Mother! It�s what you�ve spent all of my life trying to get me to do!�

�Well, I was wrong,� yelled Barbara.

This silenced Abe.

At a normal volume, Barbara repeated, �I was wrong. Anna, I�ve had a good life and I wanted the same for you.� Holding up at hand to silence her daughter, she continued. �I was wrong to think the only way you would have a good life was to have one like mine. I was also a bit selfish, because I wanted you here where I could keep you safe. However, I realize I can�t protect you from everything and you have to find your way in the world. And you did find your way, sweetie. I�ve noticed the changes in you. This past year you blossomed and I�m proud of you.�

�You are,� she asked, her eyes widening.

�Yes.�

�But mama I screwed up. I let the wrong guy in.�

�Was he really the wrong one?�

�He didn�t love me back.�

�Why do you say that?�

�He�s not here. Is he?�

�What happened?� She watched her daughter immediately tense up. �Come on. I�m trying to be an evolved mom here. I know I�m not your friends, but I can listen.�

Abe had a choice to make. She could either, do what she had always done and shut her mother out or she could take a chance and open up. The glimmer of hope in her mother�s eyes made her decision for her. She started talking. Her mother listened without comment, only asking a question here and there to clarify.

Concluding, Abe sniffled and said, �See he didn�t love me.�

�I don�t know,� countered Barbara.

�Mother,� cried Abe, incredulously.

�Anna, I do think he had feelings for you.�

�Then why did he break up with me?�

�That is the one thing I can�t answer, because I don�t know what happened. Since, he didn�t give you a reason, you may never know. For that, I am truly sorry. I�m also sorry that you are hurting right now, but Lil� Bit I�m glad he came into your life, because you were brave and gave your heart.�

�Fat lot of good it did me,� spat Abe.

Moving around to hug her daughter, Barbara said, �it did you a bunch of good. Next time will be better.�

�Who says there�ll be a next time?�

�Your mother does,� joked Barbara before bending down to be eye level with Abe. �Seriously, this is the beginning. Your first love. There will be others.�

�But you got your happy ever after with your first love.�

�I know Lil� Bit and I was very lucky, because most don�t. You will find love. You just have to give it time.�

�Thanks for listening, mama.�

�Thanks for talking.�

Chapter 2

Michele dropped the suitcase to unlock the door to their apartment. �It sounds like you two had a good talk.�

�Yeah. Who knew,� replied Abe.

�I�m glad you took a chance on your mom.�

Abe followed Michele into the apartment, but pulled up short when they reached the living room. It looked like the packing fairies had crashed in the room.

�Just keep moving,� directed Michele, disappearing into Abe�s room. She was putting Abe�s suitcase on her bed when Abe walked in. �I designated the living room as the place to pack.�

�I saw. Have you started?�

�Oh yeah.�

�Where are the packed boxes,� asked Abe, walking back into the living room.

�We�ve been taking them over to the house.�

Without warning, Abe sat down on the couch and began to cry.

�Abe, what�s wrong?�

Tears clinging to her eyelashes, Abe looked at her best friend. �This makes it all so real. You know? I was so close Chele. I saw it�the life I didn�t think I�d ever have. I never thought I would get that close. Then just like that, it shattered in front of me. I feel like I�m standing on this little piece of land before a cliff and it�s like an earthquake happened. The earth opened up behind me, so there is nothing front of me and no way for me to go back. I should have never tried for more. I should have been happy with the way things were. I was better off.�

�Were you really, Anna?�

�Yes! Before I didn�t know what it was like. I didn�t think about it.�

�Wrong. You did think about it�all the time.�

�How do you know that,� she asked, glaring.

Michele didn�t let her best friend�s hostility stop her. �I was right there with you. Dreaming the same dream.�

�Yeah, well, you got your fairytale.�

�Not a fairytale, but I did find love and I think thank God every day for it.�

�I�m happy for you Chele. I swear I am. It�s hard, because I totally screwed up my life and now I have nothing.�

�I know you�re hurting, but don�t say you have nothing, because it�s a lie.�

�Tell me what I do have. Job? No. A place to live? No.�

�You will get a job. It will take some time, but probably not as long as you think. As for a place to live, you said it would be easier to stay in this complex. I talked to the manager and she said to come by anytime and she would give you the keys to the available one bedrooms. Another thing is don�t ever forget you have family and friends who love you. You are not alone. Now, I think we should grab some lunch then we can pick up the keys and have a look around.�

�Michele,� Abe started to argue.

�Look, I know you don�t feel like it, but you can�t stay here and give in. I won�t let you.�

�Do I have a choice?�

�No.�

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out, Abe shook off her mood. With a shaky grin, she said, �fine.�

********

�Mail call.�

�Hi baby,� greeted Michele, kissing her fianc� when he walked into the living room.

�Hi baby,� teased Abe, puckering up for a kiss.

�Hi sugar lips,� chuckled Tim. �Welcome home.�

�Thanks. Do you always chase your future wife out a room when you get home? This could be counter productive to producing the grandchildren both of your parents are nagging you for.�

�And to think I got off work early for this abuse.�

�He didn�t chase me off. He just reminded me,� clarified Michele, carrying a bag back into the room. �Here is all your mail.�

�Thanks.�

Tim and Michelle caught up on their day, while Abe dumped the contents of the bag on the floor. She quickly sorted through the mail tossing the junk mail back in the bag. She had direct deposit, but had her check stubs mailed home. She methodically opened each one and put them in order.

�This can�t be right.�

�What,� asked Michele, who had moved into the kitchen and started dinner.

�I have an extra check stub here and it is for the wrong amount.�

�Are you sure?�

Abe got up and with the two check stubs in hand; she joined Michele in the kitchen. �See, this is my pay check This one is for over $11,000.�

�How much,� squeaked Michele.

�You heard me. This is a mistake. I�ve got to call Roger.�

Getting his card from her briefcase and grabbing the phone, she was quickly dialing his number.

�Hello?�

�Roger. This is Abe.�

�Hi Abe. How are you?�

�I�m okay. You?�

�I�m good. What a surprise. I didn�t expect to hear from you.�

�I know and I�m sorry to bother you, but there�s been a mistake with my pay check.�

�What sort of problem?�

�I got two pay checks.�

�Oh no. Two checks for the same amount. There must have been a hiccup in the payroll program and it spit out the same check twice.�

�No Roger. I go one check with my regular salary and then a second one for over $11,000.�

�Oh I know about that, but it was supposed to be for $15,000. I�m sorry they made it for the wrong amount we�ll get that correct.�

For the first time, Abe looked at the gross amount on the check. �Roger you�re right it is for $15,000. I didn�t notice the gross total. I was just looking at the totals after deductions.�

�Oh good. I thought for a moment we owed you more money,� he said with a chuckle.

�Roger, this isn�t my money.�

�Yes it is.� He realized she didn�t remember. �Abe, it�s your bonus for making it to the end of the tour.�

�Huh,� asked Abe, getting a knot in the pit of her stomach.

�Your bonus. We talked about it the day you started working. Remember, I said you would get a $15,000 bonus if you made it to the end of the tour.�

�I forgot about it,� she said quietly.

�So, see, it�s your money. You earned.�

�How can I send it back?�

�Send it back,� he exclaimed. �Why on earth would you want to send it back?�

�Because I don�t want it. I didn�t finish the job to get the money.�

�I don�t care. You earned it. Take the money and do something fun. Go on a vacation or something.�

She realized arguing with Roger was futile. �Okay. Thanks Roger.�

�Anytime Abe.�

�Sorry to have bothered you.�

�You didn�t. Take care and seriously, do something fun with at least a portion of the money.�

�Sure. Hey Roger. Did the guys know about the bonus?�

�Not until the last day of the tour. Why?�

�Just wondering. Talk to you later, Roger.�

�Bye Abe.�

�What did he say,� asked Michele.

�I forgot about the bonus.�

�Nice bonus,� stated Tim from his place on the couch.

�I heard you ask him about the guys. When did they find out?�

�The last day of the tour. My God, Michele. Nick, hell even AJ, thinks I stuck around because of the money. I�ve got explain to Nick.� She was already dialing his cell number. Suddenly, she stopped dialing and put the phone down.

�What,� asked Michele.

�I can�t call him.�

�Why not?�

�Because it wouldn�t do any good.�

�Says who,� countered Michele.

�Me. Chele, it doesn't change the fact that he broke up with me, instead of talking to me. And it definitely won�t change the fact that he slept with Angelica.�

�Do you know he did for sure?�

�Yes. And it�s my own damn fault.�

�Excuse me,� exclaimed Michele.

�Well partly. He found out about the bonus and thought I was with him only because of the money.�

�But if you explained that you forgot about the money,� suggested Tim, who had joined them in the kitchen.�

Abe shook her head. �No. He wouldn�t listen to me or believe me. And with him sleeping with Angelica how could I trust him? Nope, we blew trust out of the water.�

�Anna.�

�It�s okay Chele. It�s just my first love. Excuse me.�

Michele exchanged a worry look with her fianc� as Abe quietly shut the door to her bed room.

Chapter 3

Kevin dialed the number and listened to the phone ring. Ever since learning of Abe�s donation the day before, his curiosity had been nagging at him. It had taken some extra effort, but he had gotten her number.

�Hello?�

�Abe?�

�Yes,� she replied cautiously.

�You are a hard woman to track down.�

�Excuse me? Who is this?�

�This is Kevin Richardson.�

Her heart sped up. �Kevin?�

He laughed, �How are you Abe?�

�Fine,� she replied, her tone wary. �What did you need Kevin?�

�I want to personally thank you for your donation.�

�Oh.�

�I was surprised at the amount. Not that we can�t put it to good use, but it is large.�

Abe knew when someone was on a fishing expedition, but she wasn�t biting. �I�m glad you can put it to good use.�

Kevin tried being blunt. �So, what made you decided to donate your entire bonus?�

Silence.

�Abe?�

�Why does it matter?�

�Most people spend their bonuses on themselves.�

�I�m not like most people, Kevin,� she countered. �It�s no big deal. To be honest, I forgot about the bonus. I even called Roger to let him know there had been a mistake.�

�But it wasn�t a mistake. Why don�t you want the money Abe? You definitely earned it.�

Her leg was bouncing hard, she said, �I didn�t do a good job for the bonus. I did the best I could, because it was the right thing to do. I owed it to Nick.�

�Owed it to Nick?�

�Yeah. He deserved to have someone work for him and help him, because of him and not because of what they could get.�

�Does that boy know how lucky he was to have you?�

�You�d have to ask him that one,� she said, running her fingers through her hair and willing the tears back. �How did you get my number?�

�Like I said it wasn�t easy. The office gave me the number on your check. It was disconnected, but gave a new number.�

�Chele,� she said.

�If you mean Michele, then yes. The new number was hers as she explained.�

�I can�t believe she gave you my number.�

�Remember, I�m the charming Backstreet Boy.�

�That�s right,� she said, a smile warming her voice.

�It took some talking, but I wore her down. Don�t be mad at her.�

�I�m not. Are you enjoying your time off?�

�Yeah. Doing some projects around the house.�

�That sounds like fun.�

�It is. I�m looking at paint and tiles, everything. I�m trying to decide on the look of the place. I won�t keep ya. I want to thank you again for the donation.�

�You�re welcome Kevin. Take care of yourself.�

�You do the same. Bye Abe.�

�Bye.�

********

Kevin watched as a hostess led AJ to the table.

�Hey man,� greeted AJ, taking the seat across from him.

�Wha-sup?�

After ordering their meals and receiving their drinks, the two men settled back in their chairs.

�Shall we get the little fuck out of the way, so we can maybe enjoy our food,� asked AJ.

Sighing, Kevin said, �I suppose so. I can�t figure out what�s going on with him. He was doing so much better. I thought he�d finally grown up.�

AJ chuckled, �I thought Irv was going to stroke when his secretary delivered the message about Nick missing his plane.�

�Missed his plane. Yeah right,� snorted Kevin, his shoulders hunched down over the table. Even now, the thought made his blood boil. �Maybe we should have made sure Abe stayed on as his assistant past the tour.�

�Hell no,� exclaimed AJ, surprising both of them. �What I mean is, it was just time for her to move on.�

�I don�t know.�

�Trust me I do.� Changing the subject, he asked, �Do you think he�ll show up next time.�

�He better if he knows what�s good for his ass. I know we said we were taking some time off, but we need to get the next album out and collect our bonus,� stated Kevin.

�Too bad Brian and Howie couldn't stick around.�

�You know Brian; he can�t be away from home for long.�

�I know, but damn, he could have stayed one night. May I never be that whipped.�

�Amen to that,� agreed Kevin, clinking glasses with AJ.

The food was placed before them and in an unspoken agreement; the two men stopped talking about Nick, missed meetings, business�all of it.

�So how�s the house comin?�

�Slowly.�

�You doing all the decorating?�

�Pretty much. Kristin is on a shoot.�

�Oh yeah? What�s she doin?�

�This week she is filming a beer commercial, and then she is doing some guest spot.�

�Cool.�

�Yeah,� replied Kevin, his voice trailing off.

They ate for a few moments in silence. Each lost in his own thoughts. The restaurant�s air changed. There was buzz. They both felt the changes and looked to see who had come in. They knew it was a celebrity, because it was the same change they felt when they walked into a room and were the center of attention. AJ caught Kevin�s eye and nodded off the left. Taking a sit in one the more secluded areas of the restaurant were Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston.

�Wow we are here on A-list night,� joked AJ.

�Seems that way.�

They turned their attention back to their food. Out of the blue, Kevin said, �I talked to Abe last week.�

�You did,� replied AJ, trying to keep his reaction neutral.

�Yep. She donated her whole bonus to JWR.�

�What,� asked AJ, taking a quick sip of his tea to keep from choking.

�The bonus she got for finishing the tour.�

�I know which bonus.�

�She donated it to the foundation. Well, to Nick�s Oceans Campaign.�

�Did she say why?�

Kevin shrugged, �said she didn�t want it.�

�I bet,� grumbled AJ. �Why didn�t she want it?�

�Because she didn�t do a good job to get the bonus. She did it for Nick. I think she did develop a little bit of a crush on fuck up.�

�More than you know.�

�What�s that mean?�

AJ sat up straighter and said, �Nothing. So did she seem sincere?�

�Yes. Why?�

�I just thought she was using us to get her money.�

�I know it would seem that way, but for some reason I believe her. I take it you didn�t know she was going to do it.�

�Me? No! We haven�t talked since the last night of the tour.�

�Really? That�s a surprise,� stated Kevin. �You two seemed to have a good friendship going.�

�We did,� replied AJ.

�Did something happen?�

�I thought something had, but I�m beginning to think I�m wrong. Kev, you got her number? Better yet, you got her address?�