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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other poor bastard die for his." ~ Mike Shim
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks so!"
"Grandparents having sex is like playing pool with a rope..." ~ Tim Enos
"Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself."
"If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut!"
"'Sex is said to be one of the most pleasurable things in life.' If that's one of the them, I would love to know what the most is." ~ Kevin Erickson
"You don't have the skill to be my enemy!" ~ Mike Shim
"... she was amazed to discover that when he was saying 'As you wish', what he meant was, 'I love you', and even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back..." ~ from Dan's profile
"Never say goodbye and we'll always be together." ~ Rich Lee
"It's strange how most people don't understand themselves." ~ from Chi's profile
"Do you realize if the Pilgrims had first shot a wildcat instead of a turkey, we'd all be eating pussy for Thanksgiving?" ~ Joke a Day
"Why does it feel the same "If you fall in love, and it is true, you'll never fall out of it." ~ Mikeala Richmond
"Human tenderness is simply weakness in a pretty package."
"We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." ~ Sam Keen
"Promise me, Pooh, that you won't forget me ever, because if I thought you would, I wouldn't leave." ~ Christopher Robin
"Don't find someone you can live with, find someone you can't live without."
"It only takes a moment to say 'I love you' but it takes a lifetime to prove it."
"Bing a ling ding ding doing..." ~ Brett Averso
"You are not a unique snowflake! You are the same decaying organic matter rotting on this earth." ~ Brett Averso
"It's like an explosion in your groin!" ~ Travis Dagenias (explaining what an orgasm was like...)
"Sex can wait, masturbate!" ~ Brad Davis (his closing statement to his speech on abstinence)
"Life is like a mirror, "Never frown because you'll never know who's falling in love with your smile."
"If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong"
"They take it, they put it back, then they take it again; my home is turning into a warehouse!" ~ quoted from "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon"
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." ~ Harvey Fierstein
"A hug is a great gift - one size fits all, and it's easy to exchange." ~ Anonymous
"Guys are like kleenex. Strong, soft and reusable"
"I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those beds with my name on it."
"How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?"
"Instead of having truck scales on the highway, I think they ought to get one of those guys from the carnival and let him guyess the weights."
"I think someone could make a lot of money if they set up a little stand at the Grand Canyon and sold Yo-Yo's with 500-foot strings."
"I can resist everything but temptation." - Oscar Wilde
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?"
"Did you ever notice when you put "the" and "IRS" together, they spell 'theirs'?"
"Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dogs face he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?"
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