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Dear Sexually Abandoned in the City,

This is definitely one for the books.  Everyone please add �Sexual Abandonment� to the already abundant Fego�ictionary.  In all my years of being the quintessential guru of advice, I have never heard of such a thing.  While I feel for you somewhat, your partners� mad dash for the exit is actually quite amusing and worth exploring as a method of disposal for unwanted, or used up males, that tend to overstay there welcome.  It probably works best if you have a coffee shop across the street to hang until the �mistake� leaves your apartment.  (Note: good idea to lock away valuables).  To answer your question however I must say the reason is twofold; you are either A) a dreadful lover or B) ooze a smell so foul in the morn that your bedmate is forced to abscond her own place in order to survive.  If you are a terrible lover, no worries; from the sound of it you relish in one simple night of no strings attached.  If you smell, then that�s fixable as well (unless you are one of those guys who need some sort of antibiotic to correct your stench).  If that is the case then all you need is a physical, some febreeze and an industrial sized can of Canoe.   Oh and maybe stick to taking your ladies to your place, unless of course you like being �Sexually Abandoned in the City�.

Signed:  fegolicious �loves him and leaves him� fego
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Todays Topic:

"Sexual Abandonment"
Good, Bad or Necessary?
Dear fegolicious,

Boy do I have a question for you!  I still can�t believe this happened to me of all people.  I mean, not only do I possess a well endowed turbopowered Johnson-Rod that most men would be envious of, I am also a hurricane between the sheets, slow, devastating and then disappearing, leaving mass destruction in my wake.   This used to work for me, that is until last week's ultimate personal degradation which has left me depressed and in a quandary about my ability to continue with sex�capades full of titillating debauchery and wicked delight.  See, I met this chick at a party.  She was smokin, sparks were flying, and we both knew it was going to end in what I like to call �Jim�s Private Bump & Ride�, kinda like bumper cars, without the cars�or the bumpers.  So after working the charm, it was time to disarm; we went back to her place.  I was so charged up and she was so hot, I couldn�t control myself, I even took a trip �downtown, I was using all my best moves.  I couldn�t help notice what I thought was total euphoria on her face; not that it mattered much, but she was diggin it.  I even decided to stay the night, thinking this ho could very well be worthy of a �rerun� the next morning.  BUT...was I wrong!  To my dismay, I awoke to find myself alone in bed.  Thinking she was somewhere else in the apartment, I began to wake Mr. Jumbo Jimbo with a little �handmaking�.  About half hour later, she was still nowhere to be found.  I was astonished.  The skeezoid actually left her own apartment in the wake of what was obviously so disgusting to her.  Was the sex (me) so ultimately terrible that she had to flee the scene?  I�ve never heard of anything like this before, nor have my buddies.  Have you?  What could I have done to make her leave her own pad?  Please help, the weekends almost here and I want to know where I should have my next Saturday night special � my place or hers.

Signed: Jimmy Kicked to the Curb
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