Five weeks later
I'm going back home today! I'm really happy about it, I missed my own house, and my mates. I had a fab time with Cat and Hez, but it didn't help me to make up my mind about the baby. I have to follow my feelings when I know who the dad is. And tomorrow I'm gonna find out! Tia's coming to me in the Netherlands, she's gonna go to the gynecologist with me!
It's really emotional to say goodbye to Hez and Cat, but they both promise to come and visit me!
The next day
Tia and I are at the hospital, waiting for the gynecologist to arrive. I'm really nervous. I don't even know who I wish to be the dad. Dunk or Lee?
The pregnancy made my hormones go crazy� I'm not in love with Lee anymore. I talked with them both on the phone lots of times. I miss them both�
"Okay, I'm gonna put this on your belly, it's feeling a bit cold," the gynecologist says to me. After applying the jelly stuff, she makes an ultrasound. She's moving the stick over my belly, while looking at the monitor. I only see loads of black and white, and so does Tia.
I'm getting even more nervous now. Why doesn't the doctor say anything? She's looking at the monitor for a long time!
"Congratulations! It's a healthy-looking 3 month old baby!" she finally smiles at me. I wanna say something, but my voice stopped working.
"Dunk's the father Iris," Tia says with tears in her eyes. Tears of joy! I'm relieved that I finally know! I'm gonna have Dunk's baby! I don't know if I'm happy that it's not Lee's, or not.
"The baby seems perfectly healthy, that's what counts," the gynecologist softly says to me. I slowly nod.
"Dunk� Dunk's gonna be a daddy," I smile with a hoarse voice.
Tia and I are on our way to London now. The guys all know that we were at the gynecologist's today. Tia just called Sy to tell we're coming to the studios now. Sy said that Dunk and Lee are really nervous both.
When we arrive at the studios, it's really heart-warming to see how happy everybody is that I'm back! Lee gives me a big big hug and a kiss. It feels really weird!
Dunk smiles nervously at me and gives me a quick kiss on my cheek. I also greet Sy and Ant.
"How are you?" Sy asks me worried.
"I'm fine. Perfectly healthy," I smile happy and put my hand on my belly. Sy and Ant who are in front of me start smiling badly.
"So you know it now?" Ant asks. I nod and turn around to face Lee and Dunk.
They're both standing there uncomfortable, like little boys at the headmaster's office.
"In 6 months I'm gonna deliver. It's your baby Dunk."
I see Lee's face get pale but before I can say or do anything, Dunk's hugging me tightly. He doesn't say anything, but I can read his mind. He's extremely happy! My heart jumps of joy because of Dunk's reaction. But at the same time I feel deeply sorry for Lee.
"Remember I'll always be there for the baby� and you," Dunk whispers hardly audible, looking deep into my eyes. For a moment I'm afraid he's gonna kiss me, but than he smiles and finally lets go off me. I smile back at him, but deep inside my heart hurts.
It's not fair! Why did he show that clearly that he's happy that it's his baby I'm carrying? It's not fair to Lee! It would all have been so easy if it was Lee's baby. I would have stayed with Lee!
I move away from Dunk. I don't dare to look at Lee's face, so I take his hand and take him with me to another room.
It's the room with the beautiful view. The room where Dunk told me that Lee's in love with me, that we should get together. He was so understanding and supportive at that time! But now� it seems like he wants me back! I hate him for doing that, for doing that to his best friend! I feel a single tear roll down my cheek.
Lee softly squeezes my hand and I realize that I'm still holding his hand tightly. I look up at his face. He looks� sad, but at the same time worried about me.
"It should have been your baby Lee!" I call out almost crying. He embraces me and I lean against his warm chest. I lift up my head and press my lips on his soft lips. For a moment he kisses me back, but than he sits down on the couch. I sit down next to him.
"You're not the only one who has been thinking these past five weeks," he starts talking.
I look up at him surprised. What's he gonna say?
"The baby, whether it's a boy or a girl, is gonna remind you of Dunk. Of how much you loved Dunk. I don't want to be compared to Dunk all the time. So I want you to think carefully about who you want to be your child's dad. Don't get me wrong, I love you, and I really want to raise this child with you, but only if you're behind it 100%."
"I couldn't make a decision about it before I knew who the baby's from. If it was yours, it would have been easy, I would have stayed with you. But it's not, so I have to think it over again carefully. I keep thinking that it's fate that I'm carrying Dunk's baby. Maybe there's a meaning behind it."
He looks very serious at me and says: "Exactly! Think it over again! I don't want you to stay with me because we were together before you found out that you're pregnant."
"Yeah. I can't afford to make the wrong decision just because I didn't think. I can't go through a break-up, or building a new relationship when I have a baby. It would negatively influence the baby's health," I slowly nod.
"Your health, and the baby's health are most important. So I think maybe we should take a break. See what happens. I know� that you're not in love with me anymore," he says with difficulty. Something's stuck in my throat.
"I'm still in love with you. But� Dunk's also still in love with you!"
"You're right. It's best to take a break right now. But I wanna keep seeing you! I wanna stay best friends with you," I say grabbing his hand.
"Yes, of course. You can come to my house any time you want. You can stay the night. In the guest room, or in my bedroom, whatever you want," he nods.
"Just like before we got together," I softly say.
"Just like before," he promises.
"I still love you Lee."
"I love you too. And I love this little one," he says putting his hand on my belly. I put my hands over his hand.
"So we're breaking up?" I say with tears in my eyes.
He nods. "Don't cry. If we're meant to be together, we will get back together," he whispers.
I get up from the couch. Lee follows me back to the others. I beckon Tia to come with me.
Even before Tia and I closed the door behind us, I hear Lee say in tears to the guys: "We broke up." Tia heard it too and turns at me with big eyes.
"We broke up," I nod and feel tears building up in my eyes.
She takes my hand and quickly leads me out of the building. We go for a walk in the park and there I tell her everything.
About Blue
Pictures
Guestbook
Fanfics
Next:
Chapter 66
