Harold Keith Redd
21 September 1925 - 5 February 2004
Our Last Days with Dad
February 2004
Harold Keith Redd
21 September 1925 - 5 February 2004
This is our sweet Dad. In October 2003 Dad was diagnosed
with Myasthenia Gravis which is an auto-immune disease
causing grave muscle weakness. It started in his
neck muscles making it hard for Dad to hold up his head.
He wore a neck brace at first but didn't like it because it
drew attention. When people asked what was wrong he
explained that he had looked around for an exotic disease,
not the regular, run-of-the-mill kind like everyone else's.
When the MG suddenly struck his lungs in December he
was rushed to ICU and exactly seven weeks later, still in
ICU, he passed away. The MG had cause other problems
which had taken his life. Or shall we say, helped him
move on to the next phase of this life.
He'll be missed by so many.
To read his obituary, go to
http://www.thespectrum.com/news/stories/20040208/obituaries/378274.html
We knew this was Dad's last day with us. Sarah and I (Laurel)
drove to St. George, Utah to be with Mom and Dad at this time.
After visiting for a while we combed Dad's hair and took one last picture.
3:30 pm
After about 3 hours and knowing we'd be there for a few more
we quickly got some dinner and ate in the ICU waiting room.
No food in the rooms. 7:00 pm
Back with Dad. You can see his ICU nurse through the window.
She could see Dad and his monitor and one other patient at
all times from her desk there. We were pretty pooped
physically as well as emotionally. Mom and Sarah put their
heads down on Dad's bed. I covered Mom with a blanket
and tucked it all around her. She had no idea. She was out!
Dad has a cool, damp wash cloth on his head, he has liked
that since being in ICU. We didn't know if he could
feel it now. One of us was almost always touching him,
often talking to him, encouraging him to go, and
expressing our love.
Finally, at 9:44 pm Dad let go.
We felt joy at thinking of him now with his parents
and older brother Preston, who must have
missed him very much on the other side. We felt joy
at thinking of Dad being able to hold his head up
now, being able to talk, being able to move, and
help and serve and be busy. Just the way he likes it.
We thought about him getting all his scientific questions
answered, as well as spiritual ones. We especially
felt joy as we knew this was his day to meet
our Savior and to be welcomed by him.
After we said our last goodbyes we gathered
our things and walked out of the hospital.
Mom really likes this fiber optic tree
in the hospital parking lot so we took
a picture on the way out.
Mom made us some hot chocolate before bed.
We needed something to wash the See's candy down with.
I'm pretty sure there are See's nut clusters in heaven.
Dad knows. We slept soundly. This was Thursday.
Friday and there was much to do now, but first, Mom took us out
to lunch to a neat restaurant called The Painted Pony.
First on the agenda was to visit the mortuary to
make decisions and arrangements.
This is a beautiful statue in the foyer. It's of an
old woman about to pass through the veil. As she
does she becomes herself in her prime in the
spirit world as she meets Jesus Christ.
Dad said he wanted to be buried in a simple pine box.
Mom and Dad are so practical. We chose the
next step up. Pine boxes aren't that cheap anyway.
Next was the marker. We chose a gray stone one
with black lettering. It should be pretty sharp.
Then off to the flower shop.
Outside the store was this sign.
We looked through books of flower arrangements.
We decided on a red, white, and blue arrangement
to go along with his military honors.
Mom and Sarah worked on the obituary.
After they got the facts down they emailed it to Patty
for sprucing up. Those three did a great job together.
The cutest Mom in the world getting her hair done.
You'd think you'd have a little privacy from the
picture-taking maniac in here! 'fraid not.
Then we picked up some basic necessities.
Ahh, the first of the other sisters to arrive.
Here are David and Karen Barker, in from Salt Lake City, UT.
(West Valley City to be precise)
Then the Davises (from Newbury Park, CA) came;
Susan, Blair and their two youngest,
Stephanie and Natalie. Then Patty and Clint Kennington from.
Oregon. Only moments after the Kenningtons arrived Patty got
out the fabric Casey had just brought home from his mission
in Japan. Mom Redd had made a special request for him to
bring home some Japanese fabric. There was
appropriate oohing and ahhing
Here's Patty describing the print on some other
fabric. Yes, yes, I can see it now!
Mom spread out on her bed many of Dad's things for us to have.
We divided them into two sections; sentimentally valuable
items, (mission scriptures, a slide rule, scouting merit badges, etc.)
and everything else. We took turns going through the order
of sisters picking out what we'd like, also taking turns for Linda and
Jen who would be coming later. It was orderly and harmonious.
He had enough temple name tags for everyone; Sealer,
Recorder, Executive Assistant, etc. I chose a sealer tag
since he sealed Michael and me. I picked one up for
Jennifer since Dad sealed them, too.
It was a sweet experience going through his things.
We are grateful to Mom for sharing them with us.
She kept the things she wanted.
Two of the seven handsome Brotherhood members;
Clint Kennington (Patty) and David Barker (Karen).
They've named themselves The Brotherhood--an elite
group to which only seven men can be belong. Ooh, ahh.
Dad's hats. Squashy and otherwise. Natalie Davis looked
awfully cute in the gray driving hat. I found another squashy
hat in the pocket of the jacket I got to bring home.
Monday morning. We're getting ready for our day.
I'm still in my new PJ's, Dad's pajamas that Mom let me have.
I guess it was a fortunate thing I couldn't find my own
PJ's on that first night!
All the chatting was delightful. The busyness going on
here is Patty getting some photos into frames to display
at the viewing and funeral tomorrow. She picked out and
printed some really good ones from a family photo CD.
Mom and Dad have a picture board in their bedroom with
a section for each family. Natalie and Stephanie Davis
are checking it out.
It's not a trip to St. George without going to the jewelry
store for some great silver bargains. But first, we
stopped at the drug store. Sarah picked up a thank you
card for Mom's neighbors/ward members Sarah's
family stayed with.
Karen, Patty and Laurel finding bargains not to be resisted.
By the way, Patty and Laurel are wearing Dad's shirts.
Mom invited us all to raid his closet.
Coming home with our jewelry store finds.
The Davises were shopping in there, too.
Stephanie was knitting the whole time.
She is fast! She made a couple of scarves
while here at Gramma Redd's.
Nan reads a book in Grampa Redd's chair.
How did they get two glamor-chicks in one family?!
As I was processing these pictures little Michael
(3 years old) pointed to Natalie's picture and exclaimed,
"Hey, dat's my best friend!" He wasn't even here this
weekend so I'm not sure when he remembers her from.
Maybe Thanksgiving at the Pimentels. Hm!
Sarah and Blair sacked out on the couches.
Gotta find a spot where you can!
Then came the Relief Society to the rescue! They brought us
lots of wonderful food so we wouldn't have to burden
ourselves with cooking for so many people. They
were so cute. They looked like the Cavalry in
oven mitts at the front door, here to save us!
Kathy Tanner was one of them. How great that
several of the old Woodland Hills gang retired
to St. George together.
After dinner came, the rest of the Feddocks and Pimentels
arrived. Michael and Breanne drove from the San Francisco
area to Bakersfield to carpool with the Ron and Andrea Pimentel,
some of Sarah's family. Here's Andrea Pimentel, Michael is waving.
Breanne has reached that magical age
where she's taller than her grandmother.
No fluffy hair can save you now, Gramma!
Then it was off to the viewing.
Laurel is looking at the guestbook.
We did a mini display here. There's a portrait
of Mom and Dad, Dad's Navy picture, and one of M&D
and their "14" children. There's also his life story he finished
a year ago, and a sign with tithing envelopes inviting those
who might wish to buy flowers to donate to the church's
Perpetual Education Fund instead. Also, the Tates brought
a picture of Dad and Willard Tate from when they were in
a Bishopric together about 100 years ago.
Here are some friends from way back;
The Rod Smiths, the Willard Tates, and the Theon Thorleys
with Mom. I remember one time when I was probably
six, seeing Brother Thorley at his home and thinking
he was "freakishly tall" to borrow a phrase from one of
the funeral talks. When you're six, most men are really tall!
Especially when you're used to having a Redd man around the house.
After the viewing, the cousins; Andrea Pimentel, Breanne Feddock,
Natalie, Stephanie, and Kathy Davis Bullock visit.
Kathy arrived tonight, driving from Albuquerque herself.
Blair Davis and Clint Kennington in the kitchen.
We had hot and cold running cakes and pies
thanks to many thoughtful ward members.
The Scotcheroos someone was inspired to make
only lasted a few minutes. Yumma.
Five Redd sisters talking. Susan is telling a story.
