by Rina K. Fenderson
4. Dream
Hisoka sighed with a soft growl as he rubbed a towel over his damp blond hair, then a little more roughly as a touch of anger over came him. He threw the towel violently across his room and shouted out his fury, making the paintings on the walls vibrate. He didn�t care, he really didn�t care.
They were imprisoning him, that was the only way he could see this, his only rationalization. Holding him captive while Tsuzuki was...was being tortured by... Hisoka shuttered, the warmth of his skin remaining from his hot shower even though the hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up, his fists trembling at his side. "Muraki..." They wouldn�t say it, they knew enough not to mention that name before either he or Tsuzuki, but they knew it as well. The only reason Tsuzuki would not return, the only situation he could not handle himself was Muraki. There was no questioning, but they questioned it! Watari searched his computer files with the Gushoushin brothers as if it could be something else, as if it wasn�t obvious, as if this all was unclear. Tatsumi and the chief remained in their respective offices, pretending to be busy, not to be worried, not to know. Hisoka knew, and he wasn�t ashamed or fearful to say it. Muraki had Tsuzuki. And if they waited too long he would have Tsuzuki forever. Hisoka didn�t remember clearly what had happened during their last and what they thought was their final battle with Muraki. He thought he saw through the flames and debris of Touda�s destruction laboratory equipment, as if Muraki did not only want Tsuzuki for passion and pleasure, but for something far more sinister and evil. Hisoka never talked about it with Tsuzuki, after all it had only been two months... Only two months... Would they ever get a break? Just a relaxing moment when Hisoka could tell Tsuzuki that he... Hisoka could feel the blush on his cheeks even before the thought processed completely. Why was he thinking of such things when his partner was in the possession of his worse nightmare. He shuttered again. A nightmare that they shared. If he would have only gone with Tsuzuki to the ball none of this would be happening. Tsuzuki probably did something careless, didn�t see Muraki when Hisoka would have felt him immediately. If Hisoka had been there as he should have been as Tsuzuki�s partner, then Tsuzuki would be here safe with him...or he would be with Tsuzuki. Hisoka�s emerald eyes shut over that thought and swallowed at the thoughts that followed. Even that would be better than being so helplessly apart. Tugging on his favorite orange sweater, Hisoka crawled up onto his bed and collapsed wearily, helplessly. He couldn�t help but feel he was failing Tsuzuki, by not knowing what to do, by not doing anything... "Tsuzuki," he whispered, stretching his slim body over the length of his bed and slipping his hands under his pillow burying his face deep into its softness. It didn�t feel like he had drifted to sleep and he wasn�t sure, when he opened his eyes, if he still was. The location was unfamiliar, the aura even more foreign. But, wait...something familiar... Hisoka didn�t move from his stretched out position as he looked around the room. It was much more lavish than his own, where the decorations were sparse and not even put up by himself, but Tsuzuki and possibly Tatsumi, before he even arrived. Victorian furniture covered corners and anywhere there could be room for it and beautiful abstract and landscape painting spotted over the deep wine color of the walls. The color of a blood moon. Closing his eyes and willing the vision before him to go away, he balked back unconsciously on the now white sheet bed, where dark blue sheets once encased him. He turned over, feeling as if he were tossing and turning, immobile, on his own bed with some sort of nightmare, that he could not touch, taking place around him. He felt deep in his soul; he was nothing here. An angel was suddenly before him, a face he knew so well. Not clad in white, not with silvery hair and pale skin, how everyone else saw angels. No, ever since he first saw that type of angel he no longer believed in them. Then this one came to him, he felt in love with this one. Hisoka�s heart beat in his throat, his lips parted to whisper his name, but his vocal chords held mute. He reached out a shaking hand, tracing his thumb under the fringe of disarrayed deep brown bangs. They brushed over his fingers like a light breeze, the tickling of a soft feather. The dark lashes that laid upon pale cheeks, fluttered slightly, but didn�t rise at his touch. The older male�s lips parted, with a pained whine and he jerked suddenly, his body jolting under the white sheets. Hisoka recoiled at the movement. He had hurt him? "Tsuzuki?" Hisoka whispered, his voice breaking from its silence. Another jerk and a whimper. He was hindered, his arms were stretched above them, making Hisoka�s eyes trail up the muscular arms to see a tight rope tangled around his wrists, rubbing the skin raw and tethering him to the head bar of the elaborate canopy bed. Hisoka felt his fury boiling up again. He knew who did this. He knew who left Tsuzuki so helpless, so bare in innocent white, so vulnerable. He knew who it was and he knew the monster enjoyed this helpless angel�s torment. Growling at the thoughts in his mind, Hisoka clamored up to his knees to rip the rope from Tsuzuki�s wrists. He had no idea how he had gotten here, but he didn�t question it when he could release his partner from his hell. Then he knew it was all a dream, all a vision. He was not able to effect anything on this plane. His fingers passed through the rope. Hisoka shivered, pulling his hands away, yet still hovering them over the tether. "No....Tsuzuki!" Hisoka exclaimed, trying to grasp the older man, but his hands didn�t pass through Tsuzuki. They made contact and that contact sent shards of vibrating lightening into his mind, reverberating against every nerve as wave after wave of images and emotion cast over him. Tsuzuki screaming out in fear, pain, and torture...Muraki looming over his body...his pale hands running over taunt muscles...promoting heat, searing pain of fearful pleasure...A flash of Muraki�s eyes, cat-like slits over a bemused smile...a needle to Tsuzuki�s wrist...the numbness engulfing his body, immobilizing...fear...pain...tormenting... and pleasure...but remorse encasing every wave of arousal... "Tsuzuki..." Hisoka hissed out, his mind pounding as loudly as his heart still leaping out of his chest into his throat to his stomach then back again. He felt himself falling, he groped blindly for Tsuzuki, looking for an anchor, but he tumbled. Blackness swirled around him, until he felt pain, not Tsuzuki�s but his own, slamming his shoulder and side of his head into solid ground. It took him a few minutes to regain consciousness, a few moments until he was able to blink open his green eyes with a whimper. His head felt to its side, his fingers clawing at the cold ground as if to pull himself up or forward. He was shaking violently, tears flowing, then streaming down his cheeks, forming little droplets on the floor, collecting into miniature puddles. He curled over to his side, gripping his stomach, willing the pounding in his temples to cease. He regulated his breathing; in and out, in and out, ignore the shaking, the searing pain...just breathe. His eyes shot open, making the thundering in his head beat more rapidly, but he didn�t care, he knew... He pushed himself up, stumbling to get to his front door, tripping down the front steps, then racing down the path before the Shokan division house, pink sakura petals sticking to the sweat on his neck and in his still damp hair. He didn�t care. He knew. He thanked Tsuzuki for those horrid images, for with the pain with the vision, came the feeling of the house itself and now he knew. He knew where Muraki was. He knew where Tsuzuki was.Author's notes: Sorry if Hisoka seems a little OOC, but if you think about it most of that was internal thought, and we don't know what goes on his mind. Its appearant that he has feelings for Tsuzuki, so why coudln't he be in love with Tsuzuki, but scared or uncomfortable to say it. Right, I'm done ranting, enjoy the next chapters.