by Rina K. Fenderson
5. Melting Rain
Most of the time they were silent. Sitting outside the ward, watching the day go by or the night, depending on when Tsuzuki came. His visits became increasingly longer, and he would leave when Hisoka seemed to have enough, or Tatsumi called to urge him back for something or merely because it would be dangerous for him to stay longer. A few days were spent playing Go or cards. An entire week was used to teach Tsuzuki how to play poker. �In case there�s another incident like last time, maybe I won�t have to save your ass� Hisoka had written. Tsuzuki could almost see a smug smile on his lips, but they didn�t quirk up quite enough.
Those tiny hints of good humor or affection slowly rose within Hisoka throughout their time together. And it was during the last week of the month that Tsuzuki felt the boy made the biggest step toward opening up in their life together. They had been sitting outside on the grass, watching the sun rise. Tsuzuki was leaning back on his arms, his legs stretched out before him, while Hisoka sat with one leg crooked under the second, his hands in his lap and Tsuzuki�s trench coat draped over his shoulders to ward of the morning chill. They hadn�t been communicating much that morning, but it wasn�t strained or tight. They were enjoying each others presence, if not their intellect. Tsuzuki was enjoying the silence; the movement of the air and the soft breathing of Hisoka beside him calmed him to the point he felt himself dozing. The boy leaned his chin to Tsuzuki�s shoulder for a brief moment, a small token of affection that the elder partner was pleasantly getting used to, then he rocked back slightly and tugged at one of Tsuzuki�s supporting arm. Not so violently that he threw Tsuzuki off balance, but enough that the dark haired male knew to shift his weight and sit up to give Hisoka his hand, which the boy was asking for. He watched his partner in confusion, as Hisoka pressed his own palm to Tsuzuki�s. It was amusing at how the boy�s hand looked slightly dwarfed by Tsuzuki�s mature one. As he slipped his fingers between Hisoka�s, Tsuzuki felt a sensation more intimate than any kiss or caress. It was an essence that he could describe; a tumble of emotions cold and fearful, strained and confused, a heated compassion and passion locked away. �Hisoka...?� The whisper was shaking, for he knew what this was. The only other time Hisoka had allowed such a connection was during their first fight with Muraki, which Tsuzuki was too wounded to call Suzaku without Hisoka�s power, and even then he held up a barrier to keep Tsuzuki from his thoughts; even in such a dire situation he was guarded, but sitting with him on the grass, the sun picturesque in its accent, hands interlocked...there were no barriers, no walls, not anything. Looking into his emerald eyes Tsuzuki could feel...him, every corner of his mind. It wasn�t as if he suddenly knew all that Hisoka was thinking, but he could *feel* the boy and it was amazing. *�No more paper and pen.�* Tsuzuki swallowed. He would never get used to hearing a thought through mind instead of ear. Hisoka wasn�t taking his eyes off of Tsuzuki, waiting for a response, whether it be of fear, disgust, or warmth. He didn�t like making use of his empathy powers, trained from the womb to think of them as sinful, he still had trouble thinking of them otherwise, but if it could be used to better their communication...and if Tsuzuki didn�t mind... The smile was slow to start, but soon Hisoka felt his tension leave him at the curve of Tsuzuki�s mouth. The elder shinigami�s hand tightened on Hisoka�s as he spoke aloud. �No more pen and paper...this is good.� *�You don�t mind?�* He shook his head. �No, this is wonderful.� Hisoka�s mouth quirked up slightly in a meager smile and Tsuzuki leaned in to the blond boy, pressing his lips lightly to his forehead, just below the curtain of honey blond locks. Hisoka seemed startled a moment, his hand releasing from Tsuzuki�s and pulling into his body as his cheeks flushed slightly. Tsuzuki frowned, recoiling his own hand. �I�m sorry, I couldn�t resist. Talking like that...that was a very intimate gesture...I guess I wanted to return it.� He didn�t say anything for a moment, which made Tsuzuki wonder how badly he�d screwed up the moment. How far back he had put them. Hisoka shifted closer and rested his chin on Tsuzuki shoulder again, this time his head bowed with his soft hair shading his features. *�It�s okay...I just didn�t expect it.�* �I�m sorry.� Hisoka shook his head again, lifting his chin as Tsuzuki turned his head to look at him. *�Don�t be.�* �How can I still hear you...we aren�t touching...� Hisoka reached out, taking Tsuzuki hand again. *�The connection was made and will remain until we are too far apart, I get weary, or one of us throws up walls in the mind.�* He couldn�t take his eyes off of the boy, every movement seemed to have so much more meaning when accompanied by his essence, every touch was like an electrical current that shocked every sense with...Hisoka. His smell, his features, his warmth, his breath, his voice, his taste...*does he?* Tsuzuki thought to himself, not considering that Hisoka might hear him. *Does he really taste so sweet?* If he had heard he made no reaction, at least for a moment or two afterward. Then, with eyes never trailing from Tsuzuki�s intense gaze, he inclined his head inches from Tsuzuki�s lips. The elder male felt like a child, about to receive his first kiss, heart pumping in anticipation, making his breath hitch. He didn�t move, he didn�t want to insist or pressure the boy after he already seemed to have been too forward. Hisoka hesitated, even pulled back slightly, his eyes finally flickering to Tsuzuki�s lips for a moment, before closing and making the connection. Tsuzuki felt his mind spin. How many times had he wanted to do this? How many time had he reluctantly woken from dreams where he slipped his hand around Hisoka�s slim waist and pulled the fearful boy into the warmth of his arms. Dreams where he kissed his eyelids and told him he was amazing and loved and cherished...And finally Hisoka�s lips were to his in a chaste pressure, but somehow with the mental connection the emotions flooded high and he felt his limbs going weak. The moment they broke apart, their eyes met again. Emerald to amethyst, locked. Tsuzuki smiled, running his fingers over Hisoka�s neck. He took another leap at being forward and snatched Hisoka up by the waist, pulling him into his arms as he had always wanted to. The blond gasped, but as his fingers clutched the fabric of Tsuzuki�s white shirt, he nestled his head to the crook of Tsuzuki neck, rather than pushing away and remained as so until he drifted to sleep. His soft breaths glided over Tsuzuki�s open collar and when the sun rose to 45 degrees in its arch, Tsuzuki lifted his partner from the grass and returned him to his bed, leaving the building before Tatsumi could call.* * *
�I�m going to need you here for the next few days, Tsuzuki-san,� Tatsumi said, while he fingered through a few folders. Tsuzuki narrowed his violet eyes in a confused manner and tilted his head. For a moment he forgot he could speak. Spending so much time with Hisoka made him sometimes lapse into silence even without the boy around. �But...is there a reason?� he asked. �I mean...Hisoka...� Tatsumi paused, his back slightly to Tsuzuki and his eyes suddenly saddened. �Tsuzuki-san, it�s been a month...with no leads on how to reverse this nor could we manage to find Muraki�s location.� Tsuzuki felt his heart tightening. �Are you...giving up?� �No, of course not!� Tatsumi declared, swing around to look at his co-worker shocked. �Kurosaki-san...is a good worker...and...and we need him to remain.� *Because you never cry around him...because you are happy around him.* Tatsumi adjusted his glasses, composing himself before he continued. �Tsuzuki-san, I know...this won�t be good news, but you still have a job to do and you still need to do that job with a capable partner...� �You�re assigning someone to Hisoka�s position?� Tsuzuki asked, his voice cracking in utter shock. Tatsumi�s silence was enough of an answer, though he knew he had to explain anyway. �It must be done. There is a case in the second block that needs to be taken. Its a small one, but it needs to be solved.� He handed Tsuzuki one of the folders, trying not to let the crestfallen look on Tsuzuki�s fine features affect him. �This is his profile. I�m sure you�ll want to read it.� �Tatsumi...san...� �Tsuzuki-san, this isn�t up for discussion. By orders or myself, Konoe, and the Earl...you know this has to be done,� Tatsumi�s voice was fading in its stern tone. �We won�t give up though.� �I don�t think I could last a day...,� Tsuzuki whispered, staring at the folder that was sagging in his hand. �without him.� *You love him that much?* Tatsumi thought, his own heart wrenching with some choking emotion. �You may still visit him...but that time must be cut shorter so not to interfere with your work.� After another fall of silence, Tsuzuki nodded and turned from the secretary. �Well, if that is everything...you will brief us when my partner arrives, right?� �Yes.� �I�m going to see Hisoka then.� Tatsumi stared at the door as it swung closed after him and signed. �I wonder...how this story will end...�