by Rina K. Fenderson
2. Muted
When he blinked his eyes open they seemed reluctant to obey and caused him great effort to get them to focus. Even then, the surroundings were unknown and confusing. He stared at the four walls of a simple homely blue, the scattered pictures and scrolls, and various pieces of the usual furniture. Hisoka felt his eyes rolling back, pleading for more rest, but he was determined to find some foundation of understanding before he passed out again. Then he felt it...
A soft, warm glow of calm. Like a sun ray, but somehow more amazing...holding compassion, courage, pain... Hisoka's hand twitched and he realized it was attached to something. Glancing down he saw a hand grasping his with long fingers twisting between his own. The hand led up an arm clad in white to a shoulder where a crown of brown tresses cascaded dark strands over white sheets and a sleeping face. Hisoka's green eyes blinked, wondering if the figure was another apparition. He moved his fingers over the skin of the hand holding his and began blinking rapidly, his vision becoming unfocused again. Frustrated by his seemingly unprovoked emotions he tried to growl out his anger, but no sound emerged, not even a hitch as he began to cry. Hisoka's free hand clasped around a burning at his throat; he could feeling the soft fabric of a bandage wrapped around it, but couldn't ignore the ring of power encasing his neck like a collar. A curse to keep him silent. He covered his face with one hand and cried with abandon, knowing that he could make no sound to wake Tsuzuki. Yet, the vibrations of his sobs began shaking the bed and Tsuzuki groaned groggily. His fingers stretched, then grasped Hisoka's again and he slowly roused himself out of his slumber. Hisoka tried his best to wipe away the tears, but as soon as he beheld the telltale amethyst eyes of his partner, he could feel them forming again. "Hisoka?" Tsuzuki whispered, reaching out to chase away a few of the tears. "You're alive...yokatta...it's all right. You're safe now. There's no need to cry..." Tsuzuki paused, glancing at the liquid on his fingertips. It wasn't often Hisoka cried. The few other times it was when he lost someone dear to him. *Like with Tsubaki...and when we almost lost each other to Muraki...* Tsuzuki thought to himself, then mustered a gentle smile. "What am I saying? Cry as much as you like...but I'm here now, so you�re safe." Hisoka sniffed and looked away, squeezing his eyes shut and biting his lower lip. No sound came from his lips. After a moment, Tsuzuki stood and helped Hisoka into a sitting position, ruffling his blond hair before sitting down again. "I'm so glad you're alive...I was worried. You lost a lot of blood." Again Hisoka didn't answer. Tsuzuki frowned for a moment, his chin resting on his hand as he searched for a way to get more of a reaction from his partner. Just then Tatsumi opened the hotel room door with briskness to his gait. "Tsuzuki-san, I need to --Kurosaki-kun..." He halted his swift pace and tried to erase the sense of urgency he brought in with him, most likely to keep the newly awakened Hisoka calm. Tatsumi adjusted his glasses and moved to the bedside with Tsuzuki. Lifting Hisoka�s chin and looking into the emerald depths, he almost smiled, but something seemed to have reminded him of why he had walked in so purposefully and he cleared his throat. "I just spoke with Chief Konoe..." "When can we return?" Tsuzuki asked, his eyes on Tatsumi for the moment, though they would constantly flicker back over to Hisoka, who was staring at his hands fisted in the sheets. "We can return tonight if we like...but without Kurosaki-san...he has been... banished from JouOhChou. To be precise, Kurosaki is no longer a shinigami." Tatsumi tried to ignore the wide amethyst and emerald eyes that stared at him, but failed and close his own instead. "I'm sorry. I don't know why, but they will not let us take Kurosaki-san with us..." "I'm not leaving him here!" Tsuzuki cried out; his hand grabbed blindly, but managed to snatch up Hisoka's hand. "And I don't understand. He's awake, breathing! He survived, why isn't he still shinigami?" "I don't know, Tsuzuki, but we need to get back in order to find out. Watari-san has found a place for Kurosaki in Meifu. He will be out of Muraki's immediate reach, but also unable to get into the Chous. I don't understand why he was banished, Tsuzuki, but we cannot let him in the divisions," Tatsumi took a breath, and then let it out heavily. "I'm sorry." Narrowing his eyes in sadness, Tsuzuki looked back at Hisoka and grasped his hand between his own. "I know it will hurt Hisoka, but you need to tell me what happened...maybe it will tell us what's going on." Hisoka turned his face away, eyes closed. "Please, Hisoka..." "He can't, Tsuzuki-kun. It's too soon." Tsuzuki shook his head violently. "Hisoka, it may be the only way. If you don't tell me you will be stuck in Meifu. Under lock and key!" "Tsuzuki, you need to leave him to rest." "I don't want to leave him at all!" Tatsumi shook his head, hating to do this to his friend. He slipped his arm under Tsuzuki�s, pulling the other male up and leading him to the door. "I need you back at JouOhChou." "But--" "Tsuzuki, the sooner we get back the sooner we can figure this out." Hisoka's eyes flickered back and forth between the two men, not sure what was going on, but only knowing that he didn't want to be alone again. He opened his mouth, choking on his useless vocal chords, but his attempt was unnoticed. Tsuzuki caught Hisoka's hands again, almost tripping on the bed as he endeavored one last time. "You will be locked away, Hisoka, if you don't tell me what happened. What did Muraki do? If you don't say anything we'll be separated!" Tsuzuki stopped at those words and stared at his partner. He blinked twice and lowered the violet orbs. Hisoka's eyes narrowed, not understanding the sudden change, he opened his mouth, again, with no result. "That's it, huh? You really don't care if I'm with you...so I guess our separation isn't much of a threat." Hisoka's fingers wrapped around Tsuzuki's, his emerald eyes wide, but Tatsumi helped up Tsuzuki again; their hands slipped out of each other�s grip. "I will return with Watari in a few hours, Hisoka. For now rest," Tatsumi explained, as Tsuzuki turned away with his head still bowed. Hisoka didn't care when he would be picked up; he didn't want to be alone. But despite his moving forward on the bed, clutching the sheets, and opening his mouth in vain, Tsuzuki merely glanced over his shoulder, not even meeting Hisoka's eyes, waved slightly, then was out the door. Hisoka wanted to scream out, call Tsuzuki back. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to be...to be...without Tsuzuki... The door shut behind Tatsumi. His promise to return echoing, but Hisoka wasn't listening as he watched the light from the hall diminish and heard the soft thump and click of shut and lock. He fell back onto the bed with his lower lip quivering, his eyes blinking back tears as he curled up on his side. Fumbling with the bandage around his neck, he unraveled it, but the motion only let him feel the ring of power more deeply, touch the scar that burned on his skin. He still couldn't call out; he still couldn't bring Tsuzuki back. And again, he was alone in this muted silence.