by Rina K. Fenderson
11. Last Breath
Watari leaned against the threshold, head tilted so his long blond hair was caught in his folded arms and would probably pull when he rose his head. Yet, his mind wasn't focused on such insignificant things, he was concentrating on how to tell Tsuzuki his lover was wounded much more brutally than the surface shown. The violet-eyed shinigami was hovering over Hisoka's bed, stationed now in Tsuzuki's apartment, as he had been for the past four days. Just as before, his co-workers had to force him to eat and drink, thankfully, with Hisoka so close, sleeping wasn't an issue. Tsuzuki spent many hours of the day curled up around Hisoka's small frame, buried against his blond tresses or between his shoulder and neck.
The boy would awake briefly every day once or twice, but was too weak to do more than brush a hand over Tsuzuki's brow, or sometimes smile at his lover to assure Tsuzuki he would be fine. He wasn't able to tell them what happened, which would have been a devastating problem should Tenkuu not have confessed all he had done. Although that still didn't help them in concern of the events that left Hisoka so battered, it was well assumed all of the damage had been inflicted by Muraki. Tenkuu was demoted to one of the lowest ranks, removed to Hokkaido, and banned from the right to allow non-members of Meifu into the realm. He left without complaint and without ever addressing Tsuzuki nor meeting his eyes. "Tsuzuki-kun," Watari said, his voice just above a whisper. His arms unraveled and he entered the room completely, sitting backwards in an empty chair near the bed. Tsuzuki was on the bed, sitting upright near the edge, one leg to the floor for balance the other tucked under his body and his hand constantly smoothing over Hisoka's honey blond hair. "...Tsuzuki..." "Aa?" "He's healing you know...very slowly, but he'll heal." "Not completely...never completely." Watari closed his eyes, he had no assurance to that truth. He folded his arms over the back of the chair and rested his chin there, staring at Tsuzuki for a long while through his wire framed glasses. The amethyst eyes never strayed from Hisoka's slumbering features and Watari thought, not for the first time, that these two men were the most beautiful creatures he'd ever seen. Hisoka's face was almost back to its flawless innocence. A small line trailed across the bridge of his nose and over his left eye, from where Muraki had apparently wanted to take his sight as well as his speech. There was a faint line over his neck and deeper gashes and slices unseen under the sheets. The blood loss, after enduring even more of it than that of the first attack, took a frightening toll on his body and during the first day they had trouble determining if he was alive or dead as he couldn't move even to twitch a finger or significantly lift his chest with breath. Tsuzuki, though in clear agony of the situation, looked like a saddened angel, his amethyst eyes constantly glittering with tears and a flush remain on his cheeks as he was often crying over his lover. "No," Watari whispered, burying his face slightly in his arms. "No, probably not completely...but he'll make it." "Aa." "Tsuzuki..." Amethyst refused to remove from Hisoka's face, fingers refused to leave a moment where they weren't touching him. "Aa?" �I�ve never seen you like that before. It was a little frightening,� Watari said. Both of them knew he wasn�t speaking of Tsuzuki�s gentle touch to Hisoka�s brow, but the violent rage against Muraki four days ago. Tsuzuki�s lips pressed together, but he didn�t move otherwise. �Well...if he ever comes back you�ll see me kill a man...and for once without regret.� Watari looked away at that, not sure if he should continue. It wasn�t as if he was partial to Muraki, on the contrary he would have loved to have the man dead, but he didn�t like to see Tsuzuki so violent, it didn�t seem in his personality to hold such fury. Watari sighed; on any accord, he deserved to know what happened to his partner. �Tsuzuki...There's something you should know...something I didn't tell you..." Narrowing, violet finally panned up to meet Watari's eyes, though part of the scientist wished he hadn't. Tsuzuki's hand was still against Hisoka's neck. "What?" Watari looked down, away, anywhere to try and rid himself of those betrayed eyes that now wouldn't release him from under their scrutinizing gaze. "Watari?" "Muraki didn't rape Bon...at least not in the conventional way," Watari's voice shook as he locked eyes with Tsuzuki again, the dark haired shinigami pressed his lips together even more tightly, eyes narrowing. Watari knew without words the growling question on Tsuzuki's mind. "What I mean is...well, I asked Tenkuu-san...if he...told Muraki that you and Bon slept together. He confessed that he did, which promoted half Muraki's rage and why Tenkuu told me 'jealousy' was what drove all of this." "What are you getting at, Watari?" "When looking over Hisoka's body it was clear...Muraki...*did* penetrate him...but...it was with a knife..." Watari felt his heart wrench violently, at the expression that flashes over Tsuzuki's features. His skin paled, his eyes widening and pupils contracting to a pinpoint of black. His mouth parted, a hand flying to his lips, to hold in, no doubt, bile that rose up. It was the hand that had been stroking Hisoka's hair and when Tsuzuki realize he had broke contact with the boy his other hand immediately went to caress his cheek. Watari felt a massive lump forming in his throat as he watch Tsuzuki buckle, his body collapsing on top of the boy and clutching at the sheets covering him. "No...something so horrible...he didn't..." "I'm sorry, but its true. There were lacerations and massive tissue damage in and around his anal cavity--" "Stop! I don't!" Tsuzuki sobbed, then lowered his voice and breathed out. "I don't want to know...I...I don't want to know..." "Tsuzuki-kun..." "Thank you, Watari," Tsuzuki whispered, not lifting his head as he continued to clutch the sheets about his lover. "You can leave now." Watari felt the lump break as tears formed, but he breathed in softly and sighed, nodding to himself and standing from his chair. "You take care, Tsuzuki. He'll be fine...he's healing." "Thank you, Watari." With that at the last words exchanged, Watari turned from the lovers and exited. The air never lifted in its tense state.* * *
In the days that passed Hisoka grew stronger slowly, finding the energy to eat and talk for over five minutes fifteen days after the second attack. Tsuzuki was spending most of his time with his partner, occasionally excepting a simple case and working with GouShouShin, Watari or even Tatsumi in ones of more difficulty. Every spare moment was spent with Hisoka, eating whenever the other was, sleeping at the same times so to have every waking moment together. Tsuzuki�s appetite returned to a degree, though most of the time he was forcing the food down, to assure Hisoka he was back to his usual antics. If the boy saw through them, he said nothing and the facade continued. And seventeen days after the incident was the first day Hisoka had remained awake for, even walking around the room a bit to exercise his legs, which where more than a bit wobbly. It seemed to give the lovers an excuse to keep in very close quarters publicly as Tsuzuki helped him along. The long day took it�s toll on the boy though and Tsuzuki could almost smile as he watched the blond settle into a deep sleep that night. They were a tangle of limbs and sheets, Hisoka�s breath puffing softly over Tsuzuki�s arm that had long since lost feeling, while the other was well aware of the feel of Hisoka�s silk skinned hip against its wrist. Their bodies were on their sides facing each other, Hisoka�s arms curled up to his body between them with dark lashes fluttering in REM sleep. Unable to resist himself, Tsuzuki brushed his lips over his lover�s eyelids, feeling very uneased by everything that had happened. Watari�s confession remained crisp in his mind. Echoing with the thoughts of what Hisoka felt, what was running through his mind as a blade was thrust into... Tsuzuki squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face into Hisoka�s blond tresses. The movement made Hisoka stir, arising from his deep slumber groggily. His emerald eyes were blinking open, when Tsuzuki recoiled in guilt for waking him. Then upon seeing one eye open before the other, the second having a little trouble then widening to its pair�s usual large state, Tsuzuki felt his pang of bitter rage returning. �Tsuzuki,� Hisoka sighed, his breath dusting warmth and humidity across his lover�s neck. The boy closed the small gap between them and gently pressed his lips to Tsuzuki�s. �I love you.� �I love you, too,� Tsuzuki whispered in return, though his voice was strained. Hisoka�s eyes narrowed. It was clear that with his just awakened state he was trying to get his barings, usually the hint of tension in Tsuzuki�s tone would be picked up right away. �Tsuzuki...what�s wrong?� The elder male�s hand slid down from Hisoka�s hip, edging over his rear, where Hisoka flinched slightly, trying to understand the pained expression on Tsuzuki�s own features. �Did...Did it...was it worse...like that?� Another moment and everything clicked, Hisoka�s eyes dropped and he curled himself closer to Tsuzuki, neck curving, forehead to Tsuzuki�s chest. �I don�t know...it was a lot more painful...but...� He paused when he felt a shaking in Tsuzuki that quickly became a tremor, to where Hisoka realized Tsuzuki was sobbing in his shoulder and neck. �Tsuzuki?� �I�m sorry....I�m so sorry! If I had only been there, if I hadn�t left you so quickly. If only I had seen through Tenkuu...if only I had thought ahead or clearly or something,� Tsuzuki�s words were a jumble of sobs and sounds and Hisoka was having trouble deciphering what he was crying out. Regardless, he pulled the violet-eyed shinigami back, cradling his head by his neck, trying to wipe the persistent tears away. �Tsuzuki, stop, don�t cry,� Hisoka whispered, trying to grasp the rationality of the situation through the fogginess in his sleepy mind. �I�m here, don�t worry...Tsuzuki...� �I should have been here...stopped him...if I had only stayed with you, called Watari or something. If I had--� �Stop it!� Hisoka snapped, and pressed his mouth roughly to Tsuzuki�s. The kiss turned tender and soon they retreated, Tsuzuki silent for the moment though the tears still dribbled down his cheeks. ��What if�, �only if�, stop it...if only I were never born, never Hisoka, never with you! Would you want to go back and change that?� �No.� Was the meek whispered reply. �Then stop it. You weren�t here, but that doesn�t matter, because you are now...that�s all I need,� Hisoka tilted Tsuzuki�s head down to plant a light kiss to his forehead then to his mouth where he coaxed the kiss into one of open-mouthed passion. Tsuzuki�s tears seemed to be lessening as they broke apart, Hisoka wiping away the last traces. �I love you, Tsuzuki...everything you do has touched me...in my eyes you could do no wrong.� �But--� �I�ll heal, Tsuzuki,� Hisoka assured him, his fingers sliding down Tsuzuki�s chest and wrapping around his waist, pulling his small frame in to mold against Tsuzuki�s. �With your warmth surrounding me, I will heal completely...just give it time.� �I love you, Hisoka,� Tsuzuki whispered, leaning down to take his lover�s mouth. Their kiss lasted much longer than the others and became very heated very quickly. Hisoka�s hands clutched at Tsuzuki�s hips, running his knee up Tsuzuki�s tight, pressing lightly through the fabric of Tsuzuki�s boxers with the motion. His mouth trailed down, Tsuzuki�s neck, free fingers finding pleasure points on the elder shinigami�s chest. Tsuzuki let off a moan, then curled around Hisoka, dragging his teeth over Hisoka�s neck and shoulder. �Nnn, Hisoka...we can�t do this, you know we can�t.� �There�s nothing wrong with you�re body,� Hisoka muttered slyly, his hand slipping between Tsuzuki�s legs, under the elastic of the boxer�s waist, to stroke his half hard erection. Tsuzuki sucked in a breath and gritted his teeth, hands grasping roughly to the boy�s shoulder and hip. �Gah, Hisoka!� �Nothing said about pleasuring you.� �...not fair...ah...� Hisoka smiled between small nips to Tsuzuki�s neck. �Shh, just relax...� �No, no...,� Tsuzuki whispered, then was able to compose himself enough to push the slender boy back. �No...Hisoka you have to rest, even that exertion can�t be made.� Tsuzuki found himself smiling, for the first time in many weeks, at the pout on Hisoka�s flushed lips. �Don�t look at me like that...the sooner you get well the better. Besides its more fun to have the screams of ecstasy coming from both sides, ne?� Hisoka, still pouting in disappointment, snuggled down obediently into the sheets, against Tsuzuki, and closed his eyes. Tsuzuki took the time to stoke the satin strands of the male�s blond hair to calm his excitement, and regain a regular blood flow. Hisoka drifted quickly, still caught in the undertow of his blood loss, and Tsuzuki found himself contentedly following, not in the least disappointed and suddenly feeling much lighter.