by Morien Alexander
Part 1
Author's Note: This is going to be the first part of a three part series I�m going to do. They are: Potion, Possession, and Passion. Special thanks to my betas- Ceres Tennyo and Shu-chan.
�I wanted to be the one to save you.�
�What?� Tsuzuki Asato looked up from his messy stack of papers. His violet eyes were bright, his cheeks red, and his hair was a bit ruffled. All in all, he looked as though he had just woken up- despite the fact that it was 5 o�clock in the evening. But in fact, he had just woken up from a sort of doze he had just been in. You see, Tsuzuki was very fond of naps, and had been practicing napping with his eyes open so that his partner would not notice.
Aforementioned partner Kurosaki Hisoka cleared his throat and repeated, �I wanted to be the one to save you.� He would not look at Tsuzuki, and his cheeks were flushing a bright, charming pink. Hisoka was considered by some to be the more beautiful of the two- but they could not possibly be compared. Where Tsuzuki had dark brown hair, Hisoka�s was the color of wheat in a summer field. Tsuzuki�s eyes were a lovely amethyst color, while Hisoka�s eyes were green as emeralds. And Tsuzuki was fully grown into a man of 26, but Hisoka was still and would always remain a boy of sixteen. �But� you did.� Tsuzuki looked at his partner, confused. �In Kyoto. You saved me from Touda�� he ducked his head, embarrassed and serious. �You saved me from myself.� �I don�t mean then.� Hisoka leaned his chin on his laced fingers. He still refused to look across the paper covered desk at his partner, choosing instead to focus his gaze on a wastebasket to the right. �I mean when you were possessed by Saagatanasu.� His shoulders seemed to be carrying a heavy weight. �Hijiri was the one to break you out. I tried, I really tried. But I was not strong enough. I didn�t have enough to give you. That�s why I wanted a Shikigami.� �Hisoka�?� �I wanted to be able to protect you, Tsuzuki!� Sharp green eyes darted upwards, meeting amethyst in a locked gaze. �I don�t want to be your inconvenient clinging partner- I want to be your equal. I want to be able to save you.� He bent his head again, his voice beginning to crack. �I couldn�t stop Saagatanasu. Hijiri did that. He wasn�t your partner, I was.� �Hisoka!� Tsuzuki all but threw himself across the desk, papers scattering before him like birds. Gathering his partner up in his arms, he pressed his forehead to Hisoka�s, forcing the younger Shinigami to look straight into his eyes. �Hisoka� you couldn�t have possibly gotten through to me. He was a high level demon lord and you only became a Shinigami recently.� �But Hijiri-� �Hijiri had a physical and spiritual connection with Saagatanasu through his cornea. He could access my mind through the demon, whereas you had no connection.� Tsuzuki brushed the pads of his thumbs across the blond boy�s cheeks. Hisoka turned his head, tears clinging to his long lashes. �I wanted to. I wanted to have a connection.� �But you saw the trouble it caused Hijiri-� �Not with the demon.� Tears began spilling in earnest down Hisoka�s face. �With you,� he whispered, and suddenly pressed his face against his taller partner�s shoulder. Between muffled sobs and the thickness of his jacket, Tsuzuki could just make out what the younger boy was saying. �I wanted to be strong enough to get through to you- to save you like you saved me. I wanted to be connected to you so that you would never lose sight of me, no matter what. I wanted�� �Hisoka�� �I wanted you to hold me and come to my recital and make curry for me and-� �Hisoka. Stop.� Tsuzuki pulled away from his partner and held him by the shoulders. �Listen to me. I am not Hijiri�s partner. I am yours. We will always have a connection, Hisoka, because you are my partner and my friend. Okay?� He drew the boy to him again, feeling his partner sigh and settle close to his shoulder, fingers tightening on his shirt. �I�ll make curry for you if you want. And I�ll come to any recital you have. And I�ll hold you for as long as you want.� �I couldn�t save you.� �Will you stop that?� Tsuzuki did his best Tatsumi glare impression. �Stop hating yourself for something you couldn�t help. Besides, it�s been what- a year? Two? You�ve saved me lots of times since then.� ��� Hisoka lay still in his partner�s arms, miserable. Not only had he burst out his deep feelings, but now he was being a burden to Tsuzuki yet again. Just the little blond kid who can�t do anything and always gets in the way. What was it that Muraki had called him that one time? A useless, needy doll� �Hisoka, I think there�s something that I need to ask you.� Tsuzuki loosened his grip and knelt on the floor in front of the younger boy. He took Hisoka�s small hands into his own and ran his thumbs over the back of his knuckles. �Why are you telling me all this? What happened to you? This isn�t the Hisoka that I usually know�� The boy hiccupped. �Watari made a potion that was supposed to reverse the effects of my empathy. Just so that I would feel more comfortable in a crowd.� �I see. And it went to the opposite end of the spectrum?� Hisoka nodded. �Not only can�t I feel other people�s emotions, but instead of taking them in, I�m giving them off.� A deep sigh issued from his lips and he tightened his fingers around Tsuzuki�s. �I�m sorry I�m being such a burden to you. I thought I could handle it.� The older Shinigami�s face softened into a gentle smile. �It�s all right, Hisoka. It�s not your fault, either.� Then his face shifted to a sincerity that was tinged with nervousness. �Can I tell you something?� Hisoka nodded mutely. �I never find you to be a burden. I love being near you. Even when you call me an idiot, I still enjoy your company. Hisoka� I�m in love with you.� And, so saying, he brought the smaller boy�s hands to his lips and kissed them gently. �I�ve been in love with you for so long�� �Why are you telling me this?� Hisoka�s eyes were dark with yet more unshed tears. �Why� why now? Why not before? When I so longed to hear you say those words�� �Because I know that now you will not have your walls up.� Tsuzuki looked a little guilty. �I�m taking a chance, hoping that you will be able to tell me what you think without the restraints that you normally have around you.� He feathered kisses over the tips of his partner�s fingers. �I wanted to tell you when you were vulnerable. When you couldn�t call me an idiot or storm out of the room or�� �Tsuzuki!� Hisoka extracted his hands gently and placed them over the taller man�s mouth. �Tsuzuki�� His small hand slid to the sides of Tsuzuki�s face and cupped his cheeks. Bending closer, the blond rested his forehead against the brunette�s. �I never thought I would believe in anyone again.� �Do you believe in me?� Tsuzuki whispered, tilting his head a little and moving in closer so that his lips were mere centimeters from Hisoka�s. �Do you believe that I love you?� Very carefully, very slowly, he bent closer and pressed his lips to those of his partner. Hisoka closed his eyes, his entire being revolving around this single kiss. He was inexperienced when it came to kissing- his only other resource being Muraki who only grabbed and took. And now, as Tsuzuki�s gentle lips caressed his own, Hisoka felt as though he was about to fly apart. It was the older Shinigami who pulled away first. �Hisoka�� �Let�s go home.� �My house?� �Mine.� Hisoka leaned in and put his head on Tsuzuki�s shoulder. �Please� take me back.� He slid his arms around his partner�s neck and laced his fingers together. �Take me.� �Hisoka, isn�t this a little sudden?� Tsuzuki�s face turned a brilliant red. ��.� The boy didn�t answer but instead slipped off his chair and into Tsuzuki�s lap. He pressed against him, breathing in the soft musk that was uniquely Tsuzuki and clung there, not wanting to let go. �I want you,� he whispered finally, his mouth moving up to brush against Tsuzuki�s ear. �I want you, I want you, I want you.� �Oh god�� Tsuzuki clutched his partner closer, closing his eyes. �Oh god�� �Not god, just Hisoka.� The boy sat up a bit, but only to bring their mouths together again in a rather clumsy kiss. Tsuzuki actually opened his mouth in a half moan, half laugh and found that Hisoka was attempting to slide his tongue in. With a shout of laughter, he pushed the younger Shinigami off his lap. �You can�t kiss, can you?� A trademarked angry!Hisoka glare. �Let�s go home and I�ll show you how it�s done.� Tsuzuki stood up and held out a hand to the blond. �Come on.� With a blush, Hisoka touched his fingertips to those of his partner. In an instant, they were transported to Hisoka�s small, bare house. To Tsuzuki the rooms seemed bland and unlived-in. But he didn�t seem to care, what with Hisoka still touching his fingers awkwardly. Turning to his partner, Tsuzuki took him again in his arms and kissed his mouth firmly. When they broke apart, he smiled at the blond. �That�s how you kiss.�v �But Muraki used his tongue when he kissed me�� Hisoka nibbled on his lower lip, still flushed a bright pink. �Not that I take romantic advice from him, but I just thought� well, that he�d know.� �You mean like this?� Tsuzuki bent down and kissed Hisoka�s pink lips again, this time running his tongue across the cupid�s bow of his partner�s mouth. Gently, he pressed forward, and, as Hisoka opened his mouth, he slid his tongue inside. Carefully, he moved his hands around so that he was cupping Hisoka�s waist with his palms as their tongues danced into familiarity inside the boy�s mouth. This time, Hisoka was the one to pull away. He gazed at his partner out of half-closed eyes. �Muraki never kissed me like that.� �I should hope not,� Tsuzuki said cheekily. �For that was the kiss of true love.� �You are really strange; I hope you know that.� Hisoka fondly stroked Tsuzuki�s jacket. His emerald eyes traveled up the length of the dark haired man�s torso and finally rested on his face. �And I wouldn�t want you any other way.� Again, Tsuzuki bent down and kissed his partner, this time sliding his tongue with more ease and familiarity into his mouth. Lifting the boy to his toes, he practically dragged him into the next room where Hisoka�s double bed was. Double bed� for a moment, the dark haired man stopped. He had forgotten the double bed. When first he had taken the boy home, he had seen it, wondered why Hisoka had such a large fluffy bed when the rest of his house was so bare, and promptly forgotten everything while watching his partner sleep. �Hisoka, why do you have a double bed?� he asked sweetly. �Because it gets hot if it�s too small.� The boy leaned into his partner�s chest. �I like things cool.� �I can tell.� Tsuzuki grinned. �Your air con is on full blast and it�s only spring.� He was going to say more, but was surprised to find Hisoka actually unbuttoning his white dress shirt. The taller man waited patiently, his amethyst eyes watching with intense interest as the delicate white hands of his partner slid under his shirt and removed both it and his jacket fluidly. �Wow,� murmured Tsuzuki, unaware that he had said anything out loud. Hisoka looked up and smiled. Actually smiled. And at that moment, Tsuzuki loosed some of his carefully contained lust. He picked up his partner and lay him gently on the bed, crawling over him, watching in utter ecstasy as the smaller boy�s lashes fluttered on his flushed cheeks, his arms uplifted over his head in utter surrender. It was short work then for Tsuzuki to remove the boy�s shirt- only a zipper and then it was falling to his sides. Hisoka�s pale, narrow chest heaved with excitement, and his rosy nipples were standing out against the flesh. There was a small dimple at the base of his throat and Tsuzuki traced a line of kisses down from this to his partner�s navel where he dipped and kissed until the boy moaned his name. �Say it again.� Tsuzuki stopped his ministrations, his hands resting on the half-clothed hips of his beloved. �Say my name again.� He lay down so that his ear was resting on Hisoka�s bare stomach. �Tsuzuki�� Hisoka reached down and tangled his fingers in his partner�s darker hair. �Tsuzuki�. I want you.� �So you said.� The older man was busy with the boy�s zippered pants, drawing them gently off his hips, while still kissing around his navel. Cautiously, he licked a bit of skin. When he felt the boy shiver, he did it again and fully withdrew Hisoka�s pants from his legs. �Hisoka, do you know what?� Again, he moved his hands to his partner�s hips and toyed with the band of the boy�s plain blue boxer shorts. �What?� Hisoka�s eyes fluttered open. �I want you, too.� And, so saying, Tsuzuki drew off the last remaining clothes that Hisoka had on. Well� save for his socks, which didn�t quite matter at this point. The boy flushed bright red from his spot on the striped covers. He was underdeveloped, he knew, and would never be able to grow any more. Often, he had stood in front of the mirror before taking a bath, and hated Muraki for killing him so young. But to his surprise, Tsuzuki not only didn�t laugh at his sixteen year old body, he grew red in the cheeks and a lump seemed to grow under his zipper. Indeed, Tsuzuki was shocked as well. He had never been so aroused by anyone- male or female- in his memory. It wasn�t as if Hisoka was particularly � no, that wasn�t true. Hisoka was beautiful. Tsuzuki saw him as beautiful. Bending closer to his partner, Tsuzuki dropped a soft kiss right beside his lips. �You are beautiful to me.� �Am I?� Hisoka�s eyes filled with tears. �Beautiful?� �Everywhere you go, I�ll go. I want to be with you� I love you� and therefore that makes you beautiful.� �That doesn�t make sense,� the boy murmured, feeling the same flush from his cheeks growing hot in his loins. He lifted his knees so that they touched Tsuzuki�s still- clothed hips. His growing erection brushed gently against the inside of his partner�s leg, causing them both to moan softly, and Tsuzuki to gather his little love closer. Their bodies pressed together from tip to toe, and both breathed heavily into each other�s mouth. �So what now?� Tsuzuki asked, his hands running down the soft skin of Hisoka�s back and tracing the delicate curve of his ass. Hisoka stared at his partner, bewildered. �What do you mean?� �I mean what do you want me to do for you?� Tsuzuki�s fingers came back up to stroke his partner�s cheek. �Make love to me, you idiot!� Hisoka grabbed his partner�s head and kissed his lips with a loud smack. �Don�t stop now� please.� Tsuzuki, with a renewed grin, slipped a hand between their bodies and fumbled with the zipper on his own black slacks. �I just thought it might be painful for you. Maybe you�d want to stop and-� �Shut up!� Hisoka�s left leg hooked over Tsuzuki�s hip. �Shut up and � shut up.� He glared at his partner in a characteristic manner that made the dark haired man relax and press him into the mattress while wriggling out of his pants. It was quite a feat, but the powerful Shinigami managed to do it, and also managed to slip in a soft kiss to his little beloved�s cheek. It was Hisoka who gasped first, quickly followed by Tsuzuki. As the older man was wearing no underwear, his erection instantly fell heavily out of his pants and met Hisoka�s much smaller, but no less excited organ. The boy�s eyes glazed over for a moment, then he wrapped his other leg around Tsuzuki�s waist and clung to him desperately. �Tsuzuki� mmmm�� The older man nibbled along the boy�s jaw, leaving little red marks, and causing both of them to arch into each other. �Hisoka,� he mumbled, with a mouthful of the boy�s neck �I love you. I love you so much�� Hisoka gave a sharp cry and began to thrust forwards, his penis rubbing against that of his companion. He could feel the precum from Tsuzuki�s slit dripping down onto his stomach, and suddenly he realized it was more than just the physical sensation of Tsuzuki rubbing against him that was driving him insane. Once again, he could feel the other man�s emotions flooding into his body from all angles. It was like being wrapped up in a veritable blanket of lust and joy and concern and � love. �Hisoka? Is it okay if I-� �Do anything. Do anything. Anything.� Hisoka moaned, throwing his head back so that his body arched perfectly into his lover�s. �Make love to me. Love me, just do something!� Tsuzuki pulled away and looked at his partner for a moment before making a decision. �Hisoka, do you have any lotion or oil?� he asked quietly, his cheeks burning fiercely. When his partner nodded and pointed a finger at the bureau, Tsuzuki moved quickly across the room and selected a small vial of what smelled like lavender bath oil. He turned back to the bed and bit his lip at the sight he beheld. Hisoka was sprawled on his back, white legs open wide, hips half twisted to the side, and he was panting for breath. His red, erect penis bobbed in time with the rise and fall of his narrow chest, and his fingers were tangled in the sheets, gripping them convulsively. All across his lower body, the sex flush had spread, tingeing him a rosy pink. �You�re beautiful,� Tsuzuki said softly, returning to the bed and crawling over his beloved. For a moment, Hisoka panicked, thinking of Muraki and that he had said the same thing, but then he saw the hopeless love in Tsuzuki�s eyes and his body relaxed. He reached up and brushed a piece of his lover�s dark hair from his forehead. �So are you,� he admitted softly. Tsuzuki smiled, planted a soft kiss on Hisoka�s lips, and then got to work warming up the bath oil in his fingers. He poured a little out and worked it up without spilling any on the bedspread. Leaning over his lover, he began to massage the boy�s nipples until they became hard and Hisoka cried out again, clamping his legs once more around Tsuzuki�s waist. The taller man smiled again and leaned back, putting his hands to his own penis and rubbing the oil generously across the shaft and weeping head. He bit his lip to keep from groaning, and then, with a reassuring glance towards his partner, he slipped a finger inside Hisoka�s tight rim of muscle. As he expected, the boy whimpered a little, but said nothing. Even upon the insertion of two fingers, and then three, he merely moaned and thrashed a bit, pushing down onto his lover�s fingers. As Shinigami, the penetration would cause minor discomfort, but they healed so quickly in Meifu that pleasure overwhelmed any pain involved. Hisoka, like all other Shinigami who experienced penetration in the afterlife, was reveling in the sensation of Tsuzuki�s fingers stroking that special spot inside him rather than crying from hurt. In fact, his cock was now so enlarged that Tsuzuki was half afraid the boy would reach completion before he did. �Are you ready, Hisoka?� Tsuzuki asked, his eyes patient but his body eager. The boy gave a delirious smile and nodded. Positioning the head of his rather large erection at the rim of Hisoka�s ass, Tsuzuki smiled down at his lover and then pushed forward gently. Hisoka cried out and gripped Tsuzuki harder with his legs, while his hands flew up and clasped around his older lover�s back. This� this was worth all the pain. Tsuzuki thrust forward, at the same time reaching between himself and Hisoka to stroke the smaller boy�s penis. It was still quite enlarged and was now dripping copious amounts of precum down its reddened sides. Tsuzuki smeared his fingers with the white liquid and then began to pump his lover in rhythm with his own thrusts. Hisoka arched into the dark haired man�s hand, his body and mind synchronizing with his partner�s. Stimulus from both front and back were making him wild with passion. �Tsu� I can�t�� �Aaaaahhh�� replied Tsuzuki and he bent forward, thrusting harder and pumping faster. Suddenly, Hisoka�s seed spurted out of his cock and into his older partner�s hand. His body bucked against Tsuzuki�s as he did so, and the older Shinigami was caught as Hisoka�s muscles tightened in orgasm. His own release followed soon after, and he sent jet after jet of hot fluid into his lover�s body. Some of it spurted up and around his own penis, warm and sticky. The two of them collapsed together on the bed, Hisoka�s legs relaxing, but not letting go of his partner. Tsuzuki smiled. �I love you, Hisoka.� �Don�t leave�� Hisoka murmured sleepily, the post orgasmic haze setting in. �I love you, too�� He was charmed and relaxed to feel a wave of love rush through Tsuzuki as he was gathered into his partner�s warm embrace.�I�m glad,� Tsuzuki murmured against the boy�s blond hair. His fingers traced lazy patterns on Hisoka�s back. Just before they both fell asleep, Tsuzuki made a mental note to thank Watari. The last thing he felt was Hisoka smiling against his bare chest.
~Part One End~
Author's note:!!! Do you think this bears continuing? I could stop here, or I could go on to the other two parts.... it's up to you guys. Thanks!!!! ~Morien