by Empath no Tenshi
Chapter 1
Author's Notes:
Such a slow updater I am ne? *shakes head gloomily* Anyway, this chapter wasn�t beta-read because I already had my beta readers working on my other fic. I don�t want to bother them with two fics at a time T.T� Gomen ne psy-chan! *pleading puppy look* I promise, I�ll let you see the next chapter before posting. (If I ever manage to finish that alive.)
�I hope it turned out okay anyway, but all the same, sorry for the mistakes. *grins sheepishly*
So, on with the fic. ^^
���� CHAPTER 1
���� After talking to me, Watari stepped out of the room at once and went back to tend to Hisoka. I, on the other hand, stayed motionless for a very long minute. He reassured me that Hisoka�s already out of critical condition and is already on the stage of recovery, and that he only needs a bit more rest. He�ll be released from the infirmary three days from now too. That�s a relief. But, I know how it feels to have an empty space in your mind. I myself don�t remember anything about those eight years before I died, and it feels awful. No matter how much I force myself to remember, there�s absolutely nothing. . . just a dark void.
���� I�m walking at a very slow rate towards the infirmary. It feels like I�m not really walking at all, but more like dragging my feet with iron balls chained to them. I feel so heavy. And the infirmary feels so far away, even if it�s just exactly eight steps across the doorframe that I�m standing on.
���� Damn it all, what have you done this time, Tsuzuki no baka!
���� That�s right. . . what have I done to my partner again. . .?
���� After what seems like hours, which was actually just two minutes, of walking thousands of millimeters towards the infirmary�s cheap wooden door (*ahem* I�m happy Tatsumi didn�t hear the word cheap), I grab the doorknob, then release it again because of the sudden hesitation that came to my mind.
����� What if. . . what if Hisoka doesn�t want to see me right now? What if he wants to be alone? Surely, at his state, he needs company. . . but knowing Hisoka, he wouldn�t want it. He�d prefer to be by himself and handle this all on his own. He�s probably mad at me, blaming me for what happened to him. It was my fault after all, and he�s smart enough to know that. Then again, that�s impossible though, because in the first place he doesn�t remember anything, and Hisoka�s definitely not the blaming type. Argh! I hate thinking too much like this. Alright, I�ll just leave him alone for now.
���� After five whole minutes of standing in front of the door, I turn my heel and start to walk away. It only took me three steps to turn back and stand in front of the infirmary�s door, again. I really, badly need to see him. Okay, I�m exaggerating. I just want to see how he�s doing now. At a time like this, Hisoka needs me more than anything. . . and anyone.
���� Softly open the door, then walk in with a smile, yup! That�s what I�ll do. So I turn the knob and quietly walk in so that I don�t disturb Hisoka in case he�s sleeping. He�s awake. Watari�s checking his condition. I think. He�s talking to him in soft whispers, then turns and leave. He stops to whisper something into my ear for a moment.
���� �I�ll leave you two alone for a while. Take care of him ne?�
���� He walks on, then stops for a minute and grabs my sleeve.
���� �Oh wait! Before I forget. . . I already filled him in on some things, like the shinigami stuff, but. . .�
���� He lowers his voice even more to something much softer than a whisper, but with a warning tone.
���� �I left the part about Muraki out. I think it�s not a good idea to remind him about that just yet.�
���� I give him a really warmhearted smile him for that.
���� �Sankyuu. . . Watari.�
���� And he answers with a beam.
���� �Anything for bon ne?� he says with a wink.��
���� So I walk towards Hisoka�s bed. His pillows are positioned into a comfortable position and he�s leaning on them as he sits. He�s staring out the window, into the sunset. His deep green eyes are iridescent, softly reflecting the sunlight. He doesn�t even seem to be aware that someone�s approaching him. I extend my hand and gently grasp his shoulder, making him softly gasp. He looks at me with surprised eyes for a moment, then breathes a relaxed sigh.
���� �Tsuzuki, isn�t it? You must be my partner.�
���� I give him what seems to be the warmest smile I�ve ever shown.
���� �Aa. Daijoubu ka?� I ask, while settling myself on the side of his bed.
���� �Saa. . . Still a bit dizzy, but I think I�ll manage.� He replies, still as casual about his health as before.
���� �Taku sometimes I really wish that Hisoka will be more conscious about his condition. I mean, he�s just too reckless. He keeps jumping into just about anything. He doesn�t even care if it�ll lead him straight into his second death! He�s selfless, I know that, but why can�t he give just a little more value to his life. . .? Right. Like I should talk. Me, who had successfully committed suicide more than seventy years ago, even after eight years of failed attempts.
���� I think I got too lost in my pitiful thoughts coz I jump as I hear Hisoka�s soft, pained voice.
���� �Ya. . .� yamete. Tsuzuki. . .� he coughs out.
���� Hisoka�s clutching my sleeve, and his eyebrows are creased with a frown. A thin layer of sweat is visible on his forehead.
���� Baka baka Tsuzuki! Hontou ni bakero!!! I should have known better than that. My emotions always tend to get too strong for Hisoka. I close the small distance between us and wrap my arms around him, stroking his hair soothingly. I love the feel of his hair. . . so soft. . . and so intoxicating to touch. It feels like, whenever I touch it, I don�t want to let go. A silly metaphor really, but it�s also the same with all of Hisoka. . . whenever I keep him in my arms like this. . . I just wish I would never have to let go.
����� �Gomen ne, Hisoka. Gomen ne. . .� I whisper softly to his ear.
���� �Betsuni. Watari-san told me about this. . . ability. Empathy or something. . . So this is how it feels, being able to sense other people�s emotions.�
���� Then he pulls away.
���� �It�s strange though. It�s supposed to be intensified by physical contact, but with you, it feels so. . . natural. It�s as if your feelings are flowing steadily into me, not crushing me in its sudden intrusion.� Hisoka tells me with questioning eyes.
���� �It�s because I can shield. I only let you feel those things that you need to feel, and not those that might hurt you.� I say calmly, to ease his discomfort.
���� �I see. . . I hope I can do that too.�
���� �You can. You just have to learn it all over again.� Just like the hundred other things you have yet to rediscover.
���� And he sighs in relief.
����� Just as I expected. He�s too easy to figure out, Hisoka. I�ve known him long enough to know when something�s bothering him, and what I have to do about it. However, there are still a lot of things I have yet to uncover about this mysterious partner of mine.
���� Like how he really feels for me.
���� But that will have to wait. For now, my priority is to help him gain back his memories. I really have to be very gentle with him from now on, especially because somehow, I�m the only one among us who understands what he�s going through. And also, being his partner, I�m the one who knows him best. Truth be told, Hisoka never opened up to anyone else in the entire Meifu as much as he did to me. That�s Hisoka for you. He�ll never let anyone pass through his thick barriers, heck, even I had to be really persistent before he let me in.
���� No one can blame him though. He had a rough life. Not to mention a much worse. . . death. Oooops! Shields up! I can�t let him see through that. Watari will kill me. Okay, change the topic.
���� �Say Hisoka, you want something to eat?� I say, with the first thing that comes into my mind. . . FOOD!
���� �Iie.� He answers, softly shaking his head. �I�m not really hungry right now.�
���� �You never were.� I pout.
���� �Look if you�re hungry, go out and eat. I just don�t have the appetite right now.� He says with a sigh. A weary sigh. . .?
���� �Hisoka. . . is there something wrong? C�mon, say it. You know you can ask me, or tell me, anything.� I ask anxiously.
���� He stares out the window again. I continue to look at him inquisitively.
���� Then he finally speaks.
���� �It�s like. . . I�m walking in the dark. I don�t know where I�m going, nor where I have to go. I just feel so. . . lost.� He says with a vulnerable look in his vibrant eyes. He�s trying to look composed. I know that he hates the dark, but for Hisoka to admit his weakness like this. . . it must be hard for him.
���� Gently, I clasp his hand again.
���� �Then I�ll hold your hand and guide you. Let me be your eyes until you find your light. I promise, I won�t let you stumble, but I�ll catch you if you fall.� I say, then continue with a playful wink. �Besides, I told you this before- I have good night vision.�
���� Hisoka gives me a weird look.
���� �I. . . get your point. I think.�
���� �Yosh! I�ll go get some food for you now ne? You just wait here.�
���� I ruffle his hair then walk towards the door. I was just about to walk out the infirmary when he called me.
���� �Tsuzuki! Anou. . . arigatou.� He muttered shyly.
���� He�s blushing. Kawaii. . . I smile at him then close the door.
���� This time, I�ll keep my promise. I won�t let you down, Hisoka, no matter what.
~)-0-(~
���� Let�s see. . . I think some fruits would be good. Hisoka doesn�t like sweets, which until now I still find really bizarre, so it wouldn�t do to get these creamy chocolate-sprinkled muffins. Ooohh but they�re soooooo irresistible!!! I�ll get them for myself then. Weee! Sweets are my life!! Chocolates, cinnamons, muffins, cakes, cookies, pocky. . . and the list goes on and on. . . Waiii!!! Okay, I think this is enough. Got to go back to Hisoka now.
���� I wanted to grab as many as I can, so it took me quite a while down there. Hisoka must be pretty annoyed by now. I�m almost at the infirmary. My arms are loaded with sweets and. . . oops, I forgot the fruits that I�m supposed to get. Sou na, now I have to go back to the break room. Geez, I think I got too distracted by all those luscious treats.
���� Ack! So now I�m on my way back to the break room again. Walk, walk, walk. Phew! Silly me. To actually forget what I really came here for. Right, that�s the break room now.
���� I come closer to the partly opened door, and I notice through the yellowish beam on the floor that the light�s on.
���� Are??? Someone�s here. But, isn�t it past office hours now? Wonder who it is. . .?
���� �So. . . how did it go?�
���� It�s Tatsumi�s voice. There�s someone else with him. . .?
���� �It was a close call, really. I told bon just right before Tsuzuki came in.�
���� That�s Watari�s voice. I wonder why they�re talking about Hisoka though. . . and myself. Hmmm. . . EEP! NO! What am I doing? This isn�t right. . . but. . . but. . .
���� �We�ll just see what happens then.� Tatsumi has this naughty tone in his voice. And his voice seems to be getting louder.
���� �Yes. I think it�ll turn out pretty well. Really, it�s about time those two. . . are???? Tsuzuki-san!? What are you doing here???�
���� Watari�s voice sounds startled, but he�s trying his best to keep calm. AH! I didn�t even notice that they were coming closer! What do I do. . . What do I do. . .
���� �I. . . hehe. . . um. . . was going to. . .� Shoot, I�m stammering. . . caught in the act. . .
���� �Steal all those sweets again?� Tatsumi cut in with narrowed eyes.
���� Yikes! I failed to notice that I still have my armful of sweets. Uh-oh. . . I�m in BIG trouble.
���� �Anou. . . I was going to bring some food back to Hisoka. . . and, well um. . .�
���� Luckily, Watari�s interruption saves me.
��� �Ah!� He slaps his forehead. �Sou desu ne! I forgot to check on him before leaving. Oh well, might as well go now. But, Tsuzuki-san, I�m sure you know better than I do that bon will definitely no like those.� He points at my arms.
���� �Wakatteru yo. That�s why I came back!� I answer defensively with a pout. �Matte, I�ll go get those fruits now.�
���� �I�ll go with you two. I want to see how Kurosaki-kun is doing as well.� Tatsumi says, fixing his spectacles.
���� I open the cupboard and take out the tiny basket filled with assorted fruits, then walk with Tatsumi and Watari back to the infirmary.
~)-0-(~
���� Upon entering the infirmary, silence greets us. Not that it�s a big trend, considering it is Hisoka in there. But, it was rather too quiet. And dark. Watari traces the wall for the switch then flicks it, turning the lights on.
���� �Hisoka. . .?�
���� I quietly approach the bed, Hisoka�s sound asleep. He probably dozed off while waiting for me. Okay, now I feel a bit guilty. If only I came sooner, then he could�ve at least eaten something. . .
���� He squints at the sudden emergence of light and groggily opens his eyes.
���� �Baka. . . what took you so long. . .?� His voice is soft and sleepy.
���� �Hisoka!!�
���� He sits up and rubs his eyes. So cute. . . he really looks like a child when he does that.
���� �Who were those two?� He gestures to the door.
���� His question suddenly makes me turn my head, only to find the room empty.
���� Tatsumi and Watari were with me just a while ago, mou. . . they should have at least said something if they wanted to go.
���� �Where are they?� I ask myself out loud, making Hisoka think the question was addressed to him.
���� �Well, they stood there for a while then went out. Didn�t you even notice?� Hisoka tilts his head to the side curiously.
���� Honestly, no.
���� �Well, they�ll come back. Here! I brought you some fruits! You must be pretty hungry. Pick what you like and I�ll peel it for you.� I exclaim cheerfully.
���� �A. . . aa.�
���� So here we are, him quietly eating and me munching on my sweets. Mmmm. . . sooo good! Sweets are the best things humans ever made!!! I better thank who ever it was that first came up with the idea of making these treats! Life�s not worth living without �em! Yum! Yum!!!!
���� �Ne, Tsuzuki.�
���� �Eh?�
���� Hisoka�s mellow voice takes me out of my sugar bliss and takes me back to reality.
���� �I. . . want to ask you something.�
���� He�s blushing. I wonder why. . .?
��� �Yes?� I ask gently.
���� �I. . . I don�t mean to offend you or anything but. . . it�s just.� . . I can�t seem to bring myself to believe it.� . .� He trails off.
���� Okay, this seems to be really disturbing him. Push aside my sweets first then focus at him. Yes, even after what happened earlier, I can honestly say Hisoka comes first before sweets. Honest!
���� �Go on.� I try to make it sound more like an encouragement, not a demand.
���� � Watari-san, he. . .�
���� His blush is deepening. What the. . .
���� �What did he do to you?� I ask unperturbed, but with a protective tone.�
���� �He told me that you. . . me. . .�
���� He�s really hesitating, and I don�t need to be an empath to tell how much this is disquieting him.
���� �Yes?� I inquire gentler this time.
���� �Am I really your. . . koi?�
����� The last word came softer than a whisper, but powerful enough to actually throw me off the bed and into the floor. I don�t think I heard that correctly. I clumsily push myself up and sit back on the bed. Hisoka just can�t possibly be serious.
���� �Hisoka. . . what was that you were asking me?� I ask with an obviously forced grin. The fact that my voice faltered when I asked that doesn�t help me in hiding my uneasiness.
���� �Don�t make me repeat this!� he snaps, but then restates it all the same. �I said. . . is it true about, you know, �us�?�
���� If I still heard that wrong, I better have Watari check on my ears. What the heck. . . if this is a joke, it�s not funny. Wait a minute. . .��
���� �Hisoka. . . did you just say it was Watari who told you?� I ask him gravely, and he�s perplexed by my sudden change in demeanor.
���� He nods mutely.
���� Then something clicks inside me and I recall what I accidentally overheard earlier.
���� ~ �It was a close call, really. I told bon just right before Tsuzuki came in.�
��������� �We�ll just see what happens then.�~
���� Without even thinking, I step out of the room and look for Watari to confront him and Tatsumi. They were together in this after all.
Author's Notes:
=^w^= Wow. . . managed to make another chapter. And I still don�t have a plot. Sheesh. Feedbacks. . . please?
~)-0-(~
Reply to reviews:
Asasoka: *blush* *speechless* *faints* (Before she passed out, she was really planning to say �Thanks soooooo much for the heartwarming comments!!!!!�)
Ita-chan: Oh please don�t be sorry!! *heart* I looooove long reviews!! *heart* And thanks for the encouraging words! I hope I can keep up with writing in Tsuzuki�s POV. Kinda difficult really. . . since he�s quite a complex person. But I�ll try my best! ^.^
Shaynie: Wow! You really think so? I hope I pick the best one, since, come to think of it, yeah there are a lot of open possibilities this fic can go. I�ll try to make it a bit less choppy too ^_~ I hope I can make it flow more easily too.
Saiyajin-Raven69: Heehee. Well, yeah, the random scenes are still popping up. I think my head might blast any moment now, because there are so many ideas coming all at once, but I�m still having trouble organizing them.
Inami, Rei, Scarlets, Kawaii, and kurok: Well, here it is! I hope you like it! *heart* ^.^
Neko: meow meow meow meow meow. . . (read as: Thanks and I hope I can keep this as interesting as possible.) =^w^=�
vsth83: Hmmm. .� . I wonder who you�re referring to. *blinks innocently* Well, honestly, I still don�t know who will start what fiasco. I don�t even know what will happen to the next chapter yet. This fic is still plot-less. T.T
Yume Maxwell-Yuy: Sankyuu!!! Heehee. I just can�t get any weirder with my ideas ne? I think I�m beginning to understand why nobody wrote this kind of fic before. . . because I�m the only one crazy enough to come up with such an idea. *sigh* Anyway, I hope this turns out okay. ^.^
yamatoforever: how come your guesses are ALWAYS right??? You psychic or something? @_@ Oh and yeah, Tatsumi did support Watari. They were in it together. ^.^
~)-0-(~
Translations:
� shinigami ~ god of death
� sankyuu ~ Tsuzuki�s vain attempt to actually say �Thank You� in English ^^;;
� aa ~ yes / sure
� daijoubu desu ka ~ Are you alright? (courtesy of GomaMizu-san)
� saa ~� well�
� �taku ~ short for mataku which means really (as in the one in italics, which somehow denotes exasperation)
� yamete ~ stop
� baka ~ idiot
� hontou ni ~ really (literal sense of the word ie. Hisoka wa hontou ni kirei = Hisoka is really beautiful ^^ *heart*)
� betsuni ~ it�s nothing / nevermind
� Meifu ~ world of the dead
� yosh(i) <silent �i�> ~ good!; alright!; ok!; right on! (courtesy of Crystal Rose-san and Artemis-san) .
� anou ~ Um�
� kawaii ~ cute
� sonna ~ Oh no (courtesy of Crystal Rose-san)
� are? ~ denotes mild surprise upon noticing something. Again, another failure to translate. (See how poor my Japanese is??? T.T )
� sou desu ne ~ that�s right (can also be �I agree� (?) )
� wakatteru yo ~ I know!
� mou ~ denotes mild annoyance
� koi ~ short for �koibito� which means �lover��
(If I made mistakes in my translations, please feel free to correct me. It�ll be much appreciated. =^w^=)