by Empath no Tenshi
Flower
While you stroll around the park, you kick another stray stone to release your frustration as you walk on sprawling grounds. You just can’t believe that he ditched you. Again. You chide yourself for being stupid enough to actually trust his word, knowing that he easily makes promises and rarely ever keeps them.
You wanted to stay home and read the latest novel you borrowed from the GuShoShin’s library. But no, just a few minutes of begging from your partner- not to mention those lethal pleading eyes- and you caved in. And you scold yourself for being pathetically soft and easily falling into his trap.
Now here you are, angry at him for not coming on time, and you even think that he might not come at all anymore because you’ve been waiting for hours and there’s no sign of him, and disappointed at yourself for believing in nothing again.
Life had always been unfair to you, and sometimes you end up asking yourself why you keep on waiting… believing? When all those you’ve ever hoped for were nothing but dreams that never came to be…
That’s right. Long ago you told yourself never to hope because you learned at such a young age that it does nothing but hurt you.
And yet, you keep on waiting for him, desperately clinging on to that tiny piece of so-called hope that maybe he won’t let you down. In all those years that you’ve shared together, he made you feel that he’s different from them all… that he won’t hurt you. You silently chant an endless mantra that he will come, and you’ll wait no matter what.
After sitting on one side of the lake, you pick up a stone and throw it on the still water and watch nonchalantly as it bounces up and down the surface three times, creating circular patterns as it does, before it sinks underwater. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a lone flower, bright petals gracefully bent as if staring up at you like a curious child, silently asking you why you look so sad.
Then, as if an answer to its question, memories of your past come back and you unconsciously begin to reminisce. It was so long ago that now you wonder how it can still be so vividly imprinted in your mind. The crystal clear visions of those days seem to be forever embedded in your soul that you can’t forget them… even at times you’d rather do. Each time you remember, a deep wound in your heart opens up and you feel the same pain all over again.
~`~`~`~
The scent… the texture… and the lively colors that brightened your world. You remember them all so well, because back then, your mother would give you a flower everyday like a faithful devotion. And with it, you felt from her the love and affection that accompanied that simple gesture. After all, you were her precious little child… her one and only. You were an angel that heaven graciously blessed her with.
But that was all before they found out about your gift… your curse.
While locked up in your hateful cage, as you sat on the cold floor, you longingly stared out the window, to that tiny field of flowers where you and your mother used to spend the afternoon together everyday. With tears in your eyes, you kept asking yourself what you did wrong… and if those days will ever come back.
Since then, she never gave you flowers anymore.
She never held you anymore.
She never even looked at you anymore.
That was the start of the transition of your young life… from that of rainbows and flowers, to a living hell.
… Or was it?
You never really knew what hell was like until you met him. Yes, that person who first instilled upon your fragile and innocent psyche what real pain meant. He took everything you had, even those you didn’t even want to offer… all in one night. And still not satisfied with what he got, he branded you to be his for all eternity as he claimed your body… etched those cursed characters… and marked you as his doll.
Slowly… painfully… as you were being dragged into your death and lay helpless in the hospital room, you had but one simple wish. Every single day, as each anguished second turned into minutes, then to hours, and then to days and months, you never forgot to look at the dusty crystal vase on your bedside table, half filled with water that seemed to have been in it for ages. All you wanted was for just one tiny flower to be there when you woke up, a reassurance that someone remembered to visit you.
But no… there was none.
Your parents never came. And the nurses, who forced a smile at you when they visited to check your vital signs and brought food that you never even touched, went out at once as though they never came at all. All of them were afraid of your empathy, because they all had their shameful and dark secrets that they had to hide.
Despite that, you silently kept on waiting, but your body could only hold for so long. In those three long years that you suffered in the hospital after that fateful encounter, you grew weaker and weaker, even though the desperate faith you had that someone would come for you never diminished. As you felt death’s door coming closer, you had one last look at the empty crystal vase. Then your eyelids fell and your vision faded into nothing.
And with that, you left the living realm forevermore.
You never knew that he came, carrying a bouquet of roses as white as his immaculate coat. He was just simply too late.
~`~`~`~
You turn away from the flower and sigh, mentally laughing at yourself for being the idiot this time. Funny you keep calling Tsuzuki that when once in your life, you were one yourself. Why did you keep hoping? When it would have been less painful for you if you just resigned yourself to believe that hope does nothing but shatter you.
And yet you still stay and wait as people around you become fewer and the surroundings begin to be filled with the orange hue of dusk. For people who are still alive and enjoying their lives, the sunset feels sad, as if life is slowly fading away form them. But such scene no longer affects you, for you already had too many sunsets in your life. For the mortals it might mean another precious day had passed, but for you, a shinigami, it is nothing but another second in your eternity.
Finally tired of waiting… of hoping… you wearily get up and impassively brush dirt off your jeans. You start your gloomy stroll back to your small house when a voice calls from behind.
“Hisoka~~~!!!!! I’m so sorry~~~!!!!!!”
You hastily blink back the tears that were on the verge of falling from your shuddering eyes and your perpetual scowl automatically takes its rightful place on your angelic face.
“You idiot! What took you so long!? Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting!!!?” You yell at him, forcefully holding back the happiness and relief that filled your entire being at the mere sound of his voice by masking it with your angry façade.
He smiles at you sheepishly and scratches his head guiltily. “Um… you see… there was this kid. I found him crying on the sidewalk on my way to see you here. He said that he lost his little puppy, so I helped him look for it. You know how much I love animals, especially dogs… but anyway… er, sorry…?”
He hesitantly looks at you and meets your gaze with anxious eyes.
“So a little puppy is more important to you that your partner?” You narrow your eyes at him and playfully accuse him, not really meaning it, but more so just for the fun of it.
As you expected, he turns into a little puppy and hugs your knees, shaking his head frantically. “No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Definitely, absolutely and surely no one and nothing is more important to me than Hisoka-chan!!!” He yells.
Then he looks up at you with the most pitiful eyes and a pout. “But… I just thought that you might understand so…” and he wraps his arms around your knees again. “Waaaaa!!! I’m so sorry!!!!”
You affectionately put a delicate hand on top of his head. “Apology accepted.” He looks up at you and you look back at him with softened eyes. And you add with a threatening voice. “But do that again and you’re dead… for good.”
He gulps nervously and obediently nods. “Yes sir!”
Then he turns back into your 26-year-old partner but still retains that childish grin. “Ne, Hisoka, I found something really pretty and I want to give it to you.” He eagerly babbles, not bothering to breathe in between words.
You give him a curious look and seeing your puzzled expression that he so loves, he smiles even wider.
“Close your eyes.” He asks you, making you even more curious. But you obediently follow him anyway. “Fine”
Then you feel something soft being placed right above your ear, and somehow, it feels familiar.
“Okay, now look at yourself in the water.” He moves aside to give way for you to see your reflection.
And you notice what Tsuzuki just placed on your ear. “A flower…”
The pink petals perfectly complement your eyes green as leaves and your ivory complexion.
“Beautiful…” Tsuzuki voices out in awe looking over your slender shoulders, and your cheeks display a blush that matches the color of the petals. So you hastily start to remove the flower, but he holds your hand and gently pries it away.
“Wait…” He takes a step back. “Just… let me look at you a bit longer.”
He stares at you for a moment, then comes closer to you again and benevolently holds your hands. He looks up at the sky as he speaks.
“You know, my sister used to put a daisy on her hair everyday. So, out of curiosity, I asked her why she’d always do that. She simply smiled and said ‘Flowers, are like jewelry and cosmetics. Putting it on makes a person more beautiful to look at. But, unlike those artificial ornaments, a flower brings out the natural beauty that lies from within.’ And she was right. I noticed back then that she was always so pretty… always blooming.”
“But now, I just realized that maybe it’s not true for all.” He looks at you then gently removes the flower he placed earlier. He runs his fingers through your hair to fix the strands that he messed up in doing so.
Taken aback, you suddenly ask him “Why?”
He simply smiles at you and his hands rise up to gently touch your cheek. “Because you’re more beautiful than the flower.”
He takes your hand again, and turns it up so your palm is facing him, and he puts the flower there. “But you can keep it. Take it as a gift from your partner.” He says with a wink.
And before you can stop it, without being given the chance to look away, a single drop of tear falls, followed by another, then another.
“Hisoka? What’s wrong? Don’t you like it?” He worriedly asks.
You shake your head and wipe away your tears with the back of your hand. “No… it’s not that I don’t appreciate it. In fact, it’s what I’ve always wanted. My mother used to give me one everyday, but… she just stopped. Since then… I’ve waited… and now you…” Another tear falls and you wipe it again before looking up at him.
“Thank you… Tsuzuki.” You say with all your heart.
He smiles. Without words necessary to be said, he just understood. He gently wraps his arms around you and he pulls you into a warm embrace that he never fails to give when needed.
“Don’t worry. From now on, I’ll give you as many flowers as I can.” He affectionately assures in a soft, yet meant, whispered promise then kisses your forehead.
He keeps you in his arms as the sun slowly vanishes, giving way to the twilight. He pulls away and flashes a bright smile.
“Let’s have dinner! I’m hungry.” He exclaims cheerfully and rubs his tummy. “ I’ll cook something special tonight!”
Upon hearing the dreadful word ‘cook’ from your partner who couldn’t do such a thing even if his afterlife depended on it, you abruptly decline. “Tsuzuki, let me do the cooking.”
“But why?” he asks, offended.
Without even bothering to use euphemism, you just answer bluntly. “Because you just…” On second thought, you suddenly change your mind. “Because if you let me cook, I’ll let you choose what dessert you like. So, what do you say?” You bribe instead.
“Okay!” He answers grinning from ear to ear. “But you’ll have to wear an apron and put that flower on your head so that you’ll look like a real cook… or like a wife.” He adds with a mischievously seductive tone.
And it makes you blush so furiously it’s visible even in the evening.
“Why you JERK!”
The next second, a loud splash of water shatters the silence of the night.
“Hisoka~~~!!! You got me all wet! Why’d you have to push me into the lake huh? That was just too mean!” He loudly whines.
“It was your fault!” You retort.
“I was just joking! How am I supposed to go home all soaked like this?” He wails louder.
“Then go home wet. Idiot.” You turn away and start to walk back to your house.
“Hisoka? You’re not planning to leave me here… are you? No! Wait! Help me out of here. Hisoka! Hisoka!”
But you opt to ignore him and let his pleas fall into deaf ears.
“Thanks for the flower anyway.”
And this time, you didn’t have to ask, to beg, nor wish for it.
It was willingly given by your idiot partner who loves you so much.
~`~`~`~
“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all” *
- from ‘Mulan’ (1)
~`~`~`~
Author's notes:
=^w^= My fanfics just keep getting worse, don’t they.
Still, reactions are welcomed. ^^;;
(1) Disclaimers: I don’t own Mulan either. And I’m not quite sure if I quoted it accurately, but more or less it means the same. I think. *correction provided by luna. (Thanks! ^^)