MY WORLD~~
I FELT LIKE I COULDN"T BREATH MY HEART WAS BEATING LIKE CRAZY
AND I WAS SHAKING SO BAD I JUST KNEW I WAS GOING TO DIE.I WAS
CLOSE TO A DOCTORS OFFICE SO I WENT RUNNING IN AND TOLD THEM I WAS GOING TO PASS OUT,THEY TOOK ME STRAIGHT BACK AND DID AN EKG.IT SHOWED NOTHING WRONG WITH MY HEART.THAT DAY WAS THE BEGINNING OF A LONG HARD ROAD.AFTER THAT I STARTED HAVING THEM EVERYDAY AND MORE THAN 1 A DAY.I WENT FOR TEST AFTER TEST NOTHING WAS FOUND TO BE WRONG.I WENT FROM DOCTOR TO DOCTOR I JUST KNEW THEY WERE MISSING SOMETHING.I WAS PUT ON 1 MED THEN ANOTHER,BUT KEEP HAVING THEM.DEPRESSION SET IN AND I FOUND MYSELF CRYING ALL THE TIME ALONG WITH THE ATTACKS.AT
ONE POINT I COULD NOT EVEN GO OUTSIDE TO GET MY MAIL.I WOULD
GET DIZZY AND START HAVING AN ATTACK.AT ONE POINT I REMEMBER SITTING ON THE FLOOR AND BEGGING GOD TO TAKE ME,I DID NOT WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS.I JUST KNEW I WAS GOING CRAZY.FINALLY I WAS
SENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST.ON MY FIRST VISIT HE TOLD ME I WAS NOT CRAZY,I WAS HAVING PANIC ATTACKS.HE EXPLAINED TO ME ABOUT THEM AND STARTED ME ON XANAX AND IMIPRIMINE.I WAS AND AM AFRAID OF NEW MEDS.THE FIRST NIGHT I TOOK THE IMIP.I FELT LIKE I WAS FALLING DEEP DOWN INSIDE SO I DIDN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE.MY NEXT VISIT I TOLD HIM I WAS NOT GOING TO TAKE IT.HE TOLD ME I COULD CALL HIM ANYTIME OF NIGHT IF I GOT SCARED BUT FOR ME TO
TAKE IT AGAIN WITH A XANAX.I DID AND IT WAS NOT SO BAD THE XANAX
KEEP ME FROM FEELING THE SIDE EFFECT OF THE IMIP.IT TOOK A LONG TIME BUT I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO GO OUT AGAIN.DR.KAUFFMAN LEFT
AND I HAD TO SEE DIFFERENT DOCTORS .I DID OK FOR A YEAR THEN I HAD A SET BACK.FINALLY I HAD A NEW DR. THAT WAS HERE TO STAY.I
AM A VERY DIFFICULT PERSON TO TREAT,DUE TO MY FEARS OF MEDS.
HE HAS HAD ME TO TRY ALOT OF THE NEWER MEDS.BUT I COULD NOT TAKE THEM(MAYBE IT IS JUST ME)BUT HE HAS NOT GIVEN UP ON ME
AND HE LISTENS TO ME AND KNOWS HOW I AM.HE WANTS ME TO TRY ANOTHER NEW MED AND MAYBE I WILL I AM NOT SURE YET.HE DOES NOT FORCE ME HE LETS IT BE MY DECISION.I AM MAKING PROGRESS,
A LITTLE AT A TIME.I AM NOW ABLE TO DRIVE A LITTLE WAYS ALONE AND
THAT IS ALOT FOR ME.I DO KNOW IT TAKES TIME AND I WILL KEEP ON
WORKING AT IT,I WILL NOT GIVE UP.ONE DAY I WILL BE THE OLD ME AGAIN.I WILL DRIVE WHERE EVER I WANT ALONE.I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MYSELF AND I AM THANKFULL OTHERS HAVE NOT GIVEN UP ON ME.TO
ALL THOSE THAT HAVE HUNG IN THERE WITH ME I WANT TO SAY THANKYOU.YOUR UNDERSTANDING MEANS ALOT.PLEASE DO NOT GIVE
UP ON YOURSELF.WE WILL MAKE IT!!
