rantings

"Nebraska"

There is actually no such place as Nebraska. Nebraska is actually a government conspiracy. The area of land that we call "Nebraska" is actually used for disecting aliens and staging "moon landings" as the gullible public called Armstrongs walk on the "moon" (actually a cheap set in someone's garage). People who believe that they are from or have been to Nebraska are either: a) government agents planted among us whose sole goal in life is to make us believe the is a Nebraska and then shatter our entire belief system when at the end of existance all the governments of the world unveil their mass decieption to the general public simply to laugh at our bemused expressions b) poor defenseless victims, brain washed by JFK (whose death was staged by the way) to recite to all that will hear that Nebraska does exist c) Canadians

Nebraska is just an illusion. Think of it in terms of The Matrix. "There is no spoon. Look behind the spoon and see the reality of nothing" "There is no Nebraska. Look behind Nebraska and see the reality of nothing".
Canada
In 1981, we lost the entire mid-west to Canada. The invasion was a slow and gradual process, so as not to alarm anyone. One by one Canadians studied American habits. They look like us, act like us, dress like us, and except for the occasional slip-of-the-tongue, talk like us. After going through Canadian boot camp, Canadian men, women, and children infiltrated American society, until they gained enough followers in all of the midwestern states that at any given time, they could over power us without really trying. Any day now, the Canadians will be coming to inflict their socialist ways on us all. Are you ready? Better stock up on top ramen. There are Canadians among us. Who knows, maybe you're a Canadian.

Evil Plot
I know, it's not very clever of me to publish my evil plot of world domination, but since there is nothing you can do to stop me, it doesn't really matter.

Ok, first I establish a cult-like following here in the states. I set myself up as a prophetess, then later claim divinity. I then send my disciples to Canada to prepare the way for me. Once the Canadians have been enthralled by the tales of miraculous deeds I've shown my disciples, I will come to Canada and brain wash all of the people there through a public access television show. I'll have the military take over the government and crush all that get in my way. After establishing myself as supreme dictator for life of Canada, I will persuade/beat into submission all the countries of the world, starting with the USA. The USA would be the easiest, since technically Canada already owns the US. I can then use the US military to crush all other countries, since it is the strongest country militarily speaking. I will then be dictator of the world and will reign for many years, or until God smites me for my horrible wickedness.