secret

SECRET PAGE
which is easy to see. bit of a mis-nomer really!!

if you found this page i must admit you have gd eyesight or are a gd m8 of mine that little junk piccy in corner of homepage was secret. (SARCASTIC)

below i enclose some stories and truely grusome facts. when i can put on text from file that is. lol. i gotta bloody type it out....DAMN! ( woohoo - worked it out on 13th Feb 06! at last )

i have a book called (if i can find it, oh yeah here it is) "most amazing mistakes" by michael johnstone.
the book is all about different ppl in different places in different times who made once in life times mistakes. i will tell u some more every now and again!!!

HIT LIST

Real Court Quotes
Lawyers are soo stoopid....

1. "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

11. Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

13. Q: "Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon,
didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"

15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and he had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"

SOMERSET 2003
THE HOMING INSTINCT
after a night on the tiles with a friend in (a place in somerset) (state name l8er) maneged to to get home.
once there he went stright up to bed. the only trouble woz that the house and bed he were in were not his.
he had moved 7 years before!!

Some Proper Funny Word-Rearranging Things!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Funny Links

http://www.chm.bris.ac.uk/sillymolecules/sillymols.htm