may9

May 9, 2003
"You better do you're homework, or Jen will run you over with her car!!!"

Ever wonder if you need to see a shrink, but I mean REALLY need to see a shrink? I was reading all my old entries and noticed that Raquel was right, I got some issues. I got alot of problems. I kinda knew that already, but never really acknowledged it. I don't know. I need help. I'm a nut job. HA!

If you were to watch Better Luck Next Tomorrow, you would get a better sense of what I feel like on the inside. I don't think I would go all out like they did in the movie, but the feelings are the same. Just watch it and you'll get it. Or maybe you won't, just cuz I don't really open up and show alot of my true feelings, or say what I really think.

I'm going through abunch of mix feelings about different people. It sux, cuz alot of those feelings involve the people I would normaly talk to about it. Once more, I dunno. Life's a bitch, then you die.

What also sux is watching others go through some rough times and not being able to help.

I don't think that I want to go back to Aurora next year. It's just gonna be all bad. There's alot of people from Garfield (my elemantary and middle school) who go to Aurora now. And then there's Mr. Sulzman, who was a principal at Garfield. He's hiring a former teacher from Garfield to go work at Aurora. My past is coming back to haunt me. Garfield was not the best experiance of life. It's not something I would like to relive. I'm gonna talk to Jen and see what I should I do. Right now, because of recent developements with the new, yet "old" teacher of mine, I am thinking of leaving Aurora. If I am leaving, I have to choose between Woodside or MA. For the third time, I dunno.

Alot of my friends are not coming back next year. I'll especially miss Patty and Pedro. Patty is going to MA. I can honestly say that I've become a tottaly different person because of her. I've known her for about 6 months and I can say she's changed me for the better. I like who I am now, compared to the person I was before we met. She's some one I definately want to stay in touch with when she's gone. Pedro is going into the Marines over the summer, then he's going to go to Woodside. Even though we'll still hang out outside of school I'll still miss him. Jen is no longer going to teach at Aurora. She helped me alot over the past couple of years. Ever since the 2nd grade I never did any homework. None at all. When Jen became my teacher, she made sure I was doing my homework. She kept me on track and inspired me to actually work at doing good in school. She takes on amillion tasks all at once to help out a million different people and still has time to go see the Giants play. It's so amazing!

But then, if I were to leave, I would miss alot of my friends that are gonna stay. It's a loose - loose situation. And also, I need make a desicion based on what I want to do. Not that my friends won't effect that decision.

If there are any therapists out there who think they can help me out (for free), holla at a playa!!!

This school year has been the best year of my life and I don't want it to end. It sux. It's been such a great year. I've made some really good friends and done alot of cool stuff. There's also been alot of bad stuff that happend. But I'd rather look at the positive side of the whole thing.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'm going koo-koo for co-co puffs!!!!!!!!

I'm going to confront Mr. Sulzman about every thing that the students are complaining about. Head phones, cell phones, etc... I know people want him gone and everything, but the way they are going about it is all wrong. Everyone wants to just get rid of him. I think my opinion would have some effect on him, seeing as how he was my 7th grade principal. If that doesn't work, then I think we can start all the dirty work to get him out. We have had about 10 different teachers either leave or get fired from Aurora. I hate to say it, but we got rid of Terri and we didn't even want her gone. Let's see, there's Alice, Ellis, Ellis' wife (I forgot her name), Sally, Joel, Kelly, Hannon, some old guy that we had for about 2 weeks, Rose, that dance teacher who left and is back helping Misla out with her morning class, and that Art teacher who I thought talked funny. There's also Kathy, but I think she left because she got fired by the administration. I honestly think that people didn't hate her, she just wasn't very popular.

I got plenty of questions, and no one to answer them. Some of those questions, no one can answer them. I feel like curious george. The man in the yellow hat couldn't answer his questions because he couldn't understand george. But george did find the answers he was looking for, so there's still hope.