| Feb 7, 2003 "In rows or around, we can jam it anyhow. Eyeing, I will see you through. Everyday we pay the price, with a livin' sacrafice. Jammin' 'til the jam is through." I just got back from Outdoor Ed. I wish I could still be there with out the kids. Just the cabin leaders. Last night, when we were supposed to be with the kids, asleep in the cabin, we were hanging out outside till about midnight. We thought what the hell, we're going home tomorrow and I think we deserve the time away from the kids. It kinda suckec that we didn't have much time to get to know each other. During the last 2 days, we all started to really hang out. I got some great pics.The're mostly scenery. But I think the're cool. I thinking about looking into photography as a possible career. Think about it, getting paid to take pictures, and being able to travel all around the world is a pretty good job. The downside to that is being alone almost 24/7. I think I would go crazy. But there are times when I go hours without talking to people. My cabin's naturalist, Sage, is going through exactly what I am. We started talkin, well she asked me what I wanted to do after school and all that. I said, I have no idea. She's like, nether do I. She is 24, is done with college, gots the credentials to basicly be a scientist, and has no idea what she wants to do with the rest of her life. I was kinda relieved to know that you can still graduate from college and still not know where to go. I don't know if that makes sense, but that was just so good to know. I think it's just cuz I finally had some one to talk to about it. I guess it's good to be back. Get to see my friends again. I don't want to sound like I hate my family or anything, but I would rather be anywhere els other than home. Just being away from everything help me relax and clear my head abit. I put up with way to much. I'm thinking i'm too patient with people. I really need to go on a road trip. Just me and like 3 friends. That would be great. I don't have a job at the moment and am down to my last $100. I let my sister borrow about $500 in the past 4 months. I still haven't heard a word on when I going to get paid back. Hopefully it's sometime soon. I want to take the behind the wheel thingy so I can get my licenses. My permit expires in acouple of months. Plus I want to do some light traveling this summer. Drive to Tahoe or something. I just want to do anything that will help me get far from home. I'm just really bored and not happy here. This place has nothing other than family and friends. They are important to me, but I got to think about my self for once and do something I really want to do. I was talking with one of the other cabin leaders yesterday. She was telling me about how she just doesn't want to go home. She's having problems at home. We were joking around. I'm like, wouldn't it be cool if we just leave the kids and run off into the woods and never come back? She's said, I would totaly be up for it. I think we should car-jack that van and get the hell out of here. We would never go home. I was like that would be sooooo great. I was so tempted. Just going away. I want to go away. Far away. I feel I've kinda outgrown this place. |