TAMMY DEVILLE: "Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen! I'm Tammy DeVille... "

BUCK ANSOME: "And I'm Buck 'Kiss Me, I'm Irish' Ansome! And we've got a match I'm really looking forward to!"

TAMMY: "The Ríúil Kanes are looking to avenge their loss to Chrissy Daniel and Megan Lilly by turning their fortunes around tonight, facing the team of Courtney Malcolm and Maiden America. Courtney and the Maiden are both FAWN veterans, but this is their first pairing together as a tag team, so it will be interesting to see how well the two friends mesh together as partners."

BUCK: "I'm predicting this one goes to the Kanes, Tam. They've got to have their Irish temper up after losing their bid for the tag belts and being humiliated by the Imp and the Prodigy that way, so they're here to win, and win at all costs. Add to that the fact that their opponents have no tag history together, and I believe the technical term is, 'they're dead meat'."

TAMMY: "You may just be right, Buck. And, of course, it can't bode well that this match is taking place so shortly after St. Patrick's Day. I don't think the Kane's egos will let them even contemplate losing this match tonight!"

BUCK: "I'm gonna guess that this particular Atlantic alliance doesn't have the kind of success against the Irish tonight as our boys and the Limeys did back in the big one. Anyway, it looks like we're about to get this show started... ."

The drone of Irish pipes fills the arena as the house lights dim. Then, just as a single spotlight hits two figures tearing open the curtain at the top of the ramp, the music erupts into a burst of jagged techno. With confidence in their every step, Maeve and Moira Kane swagger down the runway, slapping outstretched hands as they pass, but their gaze fixed firmly upon the ring. Their contingent of fans greet them with a multitude of signs, the sentiments, given the recent holiday, perhaps best being summed up by the one reading KISS ME, IRISH... AND ME BLARNEY STONE!

Climbing to the ring apron, the Kanes demand that the referee sit on the middle rope and lift the top cable with his shoulder, allowing the blondes to enter... with Moira taking her time and giving fans a healthy glimpse of her bottom. Once in the ring, they raise their arms to signal absolute confidence in their impending victory. Maeve, the older of the two, clad in a green one-piece and matching boots, steps impassively to their corner to await the bell, while the somewhat more impulsive Moira, clad in a similar black outfit, jumps up on the middle ropes in the corner to face the crowd and encourage their lusty cheers.

Red, white and blue pyrotechnics suddenly explode into life along both sides of the ramp, and the Lenny Kravitz rendition of "American Woman" begins to pump over the arena's sound system. Moments later, a figure emerges on the ramp, a woman with golden hair and tanned skin, clad in a skin-tight red one-piece, with white ankle boots. Her face bears blue make-up done to look like a mask over her eyes.

Maiden America has arrived.

She jogs down the aisle toward the ring, taking time to slap hands with as many fans as she can. Arriving at ringside, she hops up onto the apron, turning to face the crowd. She gives a brief wave of salute, and then slips through the ropes, there to await her partner for the evening.

"Please Don't Tease" by the Donnas begins to play over the PA, and Courtney Malcolm emerges from behind the curtain and bounds down the ramp, her taut, athletic figure flattered by a baby blue one-piece suit, with matching knee and elbow pads and boots... a veritable vision in pastel. Her raven hair frames a face lit up by a joyous, confident smile.

Climbing into the ring, she double high fives with her partner, Maiden America. Although both wrestlers are longtime friends, this is their first opportunity to tag team together, and they aim to make the most of it.

Following the referee's instructions, the bell sounds, and Maeve and the Maiden start off for their respective teams. The two blondes lock up in the center of the ring and strain against one another for several moments, and then suddenly the Maiden twists and snares Kane in an Armbar. Before the Irishwoman can mount a response, she finds herself Irish whipped... oh, the irony... into the ropes. Bouncing off of the cables, Maeve is delivered straight into a Hiproll that sends her crashing to the canvas.

Pulling the Irish battler back up to her feet, Maiden America enjoys her last moments of control in this match. A sudden finger thrust to the windpipe stops the Yankee dead in her tracks. Now it's Maeve's turn to play... .

A Stunner leaves the Maiden's mind reeling, while the follow up Swinging Neckbreaker further robs her of her senses. If only Kane would pause in her assault, Maiden America might be able to collect her thoughts and rally. But the Irishwoman is relentless, giving her adversary no pause. An Elbow Drop to the sternum leaves the patriotic blond gasping, and gives Maeve the few moments she needs to head over to her corner and tag her sister.

However, the Kanes do not immediately exchange places. Instead, Moira climbs up the turnbuckles until she is perched upon the top ropes, ready to soar. Meantime, Maeve has returned to the Maiden, and she applies a Mexican Ceiling Hold, positioning her victim so that she is set up perfectly for Moira... who leaps into the air and delivers a sledgehammer of a Missile Dropkick squarely into the Maiden's crotch! The force of the impact causes the howling blond to flip backward, and as Maeve releases her hold at that exact moment, there is nothing to keep the hapless woman from sailing through the air until she crashes, face-first, into the mat!

As Maeve exits the ring, Moira goes over to her barely-conscious opponent and, seemingly miffed that there's little spunk left in her at the moment, drags the Maiden's rag doll of a body up, carries her over to her corner, and actually holds out the blonde's arm so that Malcolm can tag with her partner!

Spoiling for a fight, Courtney jumps through the ropes... and is promptly met with a boot to the midsection that doubles her over. Placing the Brit's head between her thighs and grabbing the brunette by the bottom of her suit, Moira yanks the fabric up into a wedgie as she shuffles backward, forcing Malcolm to accompany her to the center of the ring! There, Kane prepares to deliver a Piledriver, but Courtney jerks upright, sending her opponent up for an apparent Back Bodydrop.

However, at the apex of her arc, Moira deftly flips her body backwards... and with the sudden shift of leverage and momentum, she drags Malcolm down to the canvas with a crashing thud! An instant later, the blond locks her foe's ankles behind her bent legs and cups her hands under Courtney's chin. The Brit gamely grits her teeth and tries to ride out the pain, but she feels as if her spine is being bent in two.

After more than two minutes of this torture, Malcolm seems on the verge of tapping out... when Moira suddenly and unexpectedly releases the hold. But she is not showing mercy.

Indeed, dragging her foe up roughly by her chestnut mane, she throws her into the Kane's corner, hoisting first one of Courtney's legs, then the other, over the middle ropes to trap her. A quick tag brings Maeve back into the ring, while Moira takes her place on the apron behind Malcolm, and reaches around to clamp duel clawholds on the Brit's breasts!

Trapped like a fly in a web, the brunette is helpless as Maeve unleashes a hailstorm of fists to her face and belly, with the occasional knee to the groin for good measure. Malcolm's eyes go glassy and her head lolls back and forth as the ruthless pounding continues.

When the referee finally tries to physically stop the assault, Maeve cannily launches into a heated argument with him... thus diverting his attention while Moira wraps the tag rope attached to the ringpost around Courtney's alabaster throat, choking her!

Back in her own corner, Maiden America is finally regaining her senses and is slowly, painfully pulling herself up to her feet by the ropes. Through blurred vision she sees Maeve Kane finally pull Courtney free of the ropes, and then she sees the Irish hellion whip the Brit straight at her own partner! The Maiden orders her body to move, but it responds sluggishly, and as a result, Courtney slams bodily into her friend!

The impact sends the Maiden sprawling backwards, where she crashes into the steel railing around ringside. In short order, Moira Kane is there to greet her, grabbing the blonde's long, shapely legs and twisting them into a crippling Sharpshooter! Maiden America's rasping cries betray her agony, and she starts to desperately slap at the floor to signal her surrender. Unfortunately for her, she is not the legal woman, and submissions outside of the ring do not count at any rate, so Moira has no compulsion to release her devastating hold.

Back in the ring, Maeve has dragged Courtney to the center ring, then scaled one of the corners to launch herself into a Moonsault. She hits her target dead center, driving what little strength may yet have remained in the Englishwoman's battered body away.

With their opponents offering no further sport to them, the Kanes decide to call it a night. Maeve subjects Courtney to her "Four Leaf Clover" Figure Four, and from the darkness enveloping her brain, the Brit yowls her quick surrender.

But the Kanes aren't done yet.

In their previous match, after having been defeated by Chrissy Daniel and Megan Lilly, the Irish lasses were forced to endure the post-match ritual they had inflicted upon many a beaten opponent in the past. Now, still bitter at their own humiliation, Maeve and Moira are intent on making tonight's adversaries assume that burden of shame.

Moira pulls the unmoving form of Maiden America into the ring, and then she and her sister proceed to undress their opponents, quickly rendering them utterly naked (with Moira even using the Maiden's own suit to wipe off her face paint, thus exposing the blonde's face for the first time to FAWN fans). Next, a command for water bottles results in more than a dozen being offered by avid fans at ringside. The Kanes only need two... with the helpful fans each being given the garment worn by one of the Kanes' beaten opponents... and they unscrew the caps and pour the liquid over the faces of their slumbering foes.

Courtney and the Maiden sputter back to uneasy consciousness, whereupon they are sternly ordered to depart. Unable to muster the strength to walk, a tearful Courtney Malcolm and Maiden America must trudge slowly, shamefully on all fours up the long aisle.

BUCK: "Wow! I knew this was going to be bad for Malcolm and the Maid, but I had no idea it would be thus brutal!"

TAMMY: "Indeed, it seems beyond a doubt now that the Ríúil Kanes have put their recent defeat to the Tag Team Champs behind them, and they are back on their winning track. One can only wonder how a rematch with Daniel and Lilly might turn out now."

BUCK: "Based on what we've just seen, I think any rematch would have to be in a steel cage... otherwise all four of those hellcats may just spread the brawl out among the fans!"

WINNERS: Riuil Kanes