Tammy: "Welcome to another exciting edition of FAWN! We've got an action packed lineup tonight. Part 2 of the first round of the Tag Team Tournament is on tap featuring the Mitchell Sisters against the Daniel Sisters, and Lansdale and Van Buren take on Whores on Patrol."

Buck: "Plus a call-out match between Missy Daniel and the Goth princess herself, the awesome Jewel Divine. That looks to be a terrific match as well. And to get things off to a great start, our first match features Ivy Bell Armstrong taking on Sandra St. James."

Tammy: "St. James has not fought a FAWN match in a while, so this is a return to action for her. Word is that she is fit, feisty and ready to rumble."

Buck: "She's going to get rumbled, I think. Ivy Belle Armstrong has taken some lumps lately after a fast and furious start, most recently from the polo mallet of one Portia Van Buren. She is pissed and will look to take it out on the blonde bomber tonight."

[As .38 Special's "Wild Eyed Southern Boys" blasts over the PA system, Ivy steps through the curtain at the top of the aisle, clad in her usual blue denim cutoff shorts and a black T-shirt emblazoned with a thorny rose and cropped so as to display her tight, taut abdomen. But she isn't her usual sultry, swaggering self. She marches down to the ring with a purposeful stride, ignoring the cheers and outstretched hands of the fans along the way. Her eyes are narrow slits, behind which are angry orbs with seem to be looking beyond the ring, beyond the arena, into some dark abyss. Stepping between the ropes, she stalks back and forth across the canvas, seemingly unable to be patient and anxious for the battle to begin.]

Buck: "Ivy looks ready to bust some blonde airhead tonight. She's wound up tighter than a spring."

Tammy: "Sandra had better be ready to fight, which I'm sure she will be."

[The fans in attendance begin to cheer loudly as AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" begins to blare across the speakers. Sandra St. James steps from behind the curtains, a smile on her beautiful face. The buxom, young woman wears a gold, satin robe, tied at the waist with a matching sash. She makes a show of removing the robe, the crowd catcalling. Sandra wears a gold, fishnet bikini, a few strategically placed stars covering her unmentionables. She finishes the look with gold, vinyl, platform, wrestling boots, her blonde hair falling down her back. She walks down the aisle, slapping hands with as many fans as she can.]

Tammy: "Sandra seems confident. It's been a while since she's graced the FAWN ring. She's looking to reestablish herself, at Ivy's expense."

Buck: "All I have to say is, 'Good Luck.' She's gonna need it against Ivy B."

[Sandra ascends the ring stairs and gracefully enters the ring, through the top and middle ropes. She then ascends the second turnbuckle and looks out at the crowd before blowing them a kiss. Sandra hops down from the turnbuckles and performs a few warm-up stretches, awaiting the start of the match.]

Buck: "She must be confident to turn her back to a hellion like Ivy! Confident or stupid beyond all reason. Personally, I think it's the second one."

Tammy: "The referee signals for the bell,�"

[DING, DING, DING]

Tammy: "�and we're under way! Right off the bat, Sandra charges Ivy. Leaping forward, she plants her elbow into the redhead's face!"

[Ivy drops to the mat as the blonde's elbow catches her by surprise, nailing her square between the eyes. Ivy hits the mat on her back, stunned by the bone on bone collision so quickly into the match. She rolls to her side, starting to rise to her feet. She never makes it, though as Sandra bounces off the ropes, nailing her in the back of the head with another elbow. Ivy drops to a three point stance, her red hair hanging down, obscuring her face. Shaking her head, she tries to clear the cobwebs that have quickly developed.]

Buck: "Ouch! Those head shots can't feel good. St. James is blatantly and illegally trying to take advantage of her concussion. What a low life."

Tammy: "She's merely capitalizing on an opponent's weakness. If Ivy were doing the same thing, you'd be cheering."

Buck: "That's different!"

[Sandra pulls her foe to her feet by her hair and an arm. Whirling the redhead around twice in a circle, she flings her into the ropes. Ivy bounces off them, careening back into the middle of the ring, to be met by two gold platform wrestling boots to the face. Dropkick! Ivy staggers backwards, her legs seemingly disjointed and her face in full grimace mode. Stumbling to her tush, she drops abruptly, her legs no longer supporting her for the moment. Holding her head, Ivy sits stunned on her denim-clad fanny. Sandra, not one to rest on her laurels, reaches down to pull Ivy up by her hair, but the southern belle has other ideas.

Sandra's face blanches suddenly, staggering back a step, courtesy of a fist to her crotch. One hand drops to her crotch, the other hand steadying her with the ropes. Shaking off the hurt, she straightens up, glaring at Ivy who still sits stunned, left hand on her head, right hand balled into the afore-mentioned fist. A second time St. James approaches the fallen Ivy. A second time the redhead's fist arcs upwards, intent on more pussy punishment, but Sandra instead grabs her wrist, twisting Armstrong's arm in its socket. Ivy cries out as her arm is twisted in its socket. Scrambling to her knees, Ivy's lips are stretched tightly over her teeth in pain as the blonde works on her arm. Her free hand alternately pressing against her aching forehead and trying to relieve the searing pain in her arm and shoulder, Ivy presses her forehead into the mat, suffering in silence. Sandra smiles down at her captive opponent, twisting the hold yet again, putting more pressure on the redhead's limb and the socket that contains it. Kneeling down beside her foe, Sandra adds a chickenwing hammerlock to the already screaming appendage. Ivy cries out and rolls onto her side, trying to aleve the pain. Sandra presses her advantage, using both arms to ratchet up the pain quotient, a determined look on her beautiful face. Leaning in on the hold, applying even more pressure to the suffering girl's shoulder, the blonde derides her incapacitated foe.]

"Come on, Red. I know you can do better than that!"

[Ivy grimaces in pain as her arm screams at her to find some way to relieve the pressure!]

Tammy: "Sandra really has Ivy in a bind, and a painful one at that. She continues to twist her arm in a torturous hold."

Buck: "I'm surprised that St. James is smart enough to execute the hold."

[Ivy knows she has to do something before her arm rips out of its socket. With a quick gesture, she reaches back with fingers like talons, clawing at the blonde's eyes, making a direct hit. Sandra cries out as her eye is gouged by the southern girl's claw. A second dig causes the blonde to release the arm hold, rolling backwards to prevent a third swipe. Wiping at her eye, Sandra abandons her offensive for the moment, giving Ivy precious moments to try to recover.]

Tammy: "I suppose we could have expected something underhanded from Ivy to break free."

Buck: "That was perfectly legal. Sandra just� overreacted. She IS an actress, you know. And not a very good one from what I've heard."

Tammy: "Who'd you talk to?"

Buck: "Anyone. 'B' movies would be an upgrade, I hear."

Tammy: "Well, while you delude yourself in your fantasy world, Sandra continues to rub furiously at her eye. Ivy must have really hit it just right. The redhead slowly rolls to her stomach, favoring her arm and slowly achieving her feet. Staggering toward St. James, she lashes out a kick at her head, connecting solidly. Sandra is knocked to her side, Armstrong slowly advancing on her. Another stomp, this time to her bare stomach causes the blonde to lurch on her side. Another stomp. Another. Yet another. Sandra convulses under the flood of stomps to her body and head."

Buck: "Go, Ivy! Go!"

[A couple more stomps and Ivy stops, leaving her opponent prone on the mat, rolling to her side in a semi-fetal position. Grabbing the blonde's ankles, she pulls her legs up and separates them, forming a 'V'. As Sandra looks up at her with wild eyes and shakes her head 'No', Ivy smiles down at her and nods 'Yes'. Quickly raising her leg, she stomps hard on Sandra's snatch. St. James convulses in pain, crying out in agony. Ivy maintains a grip on her foe's legs, pulling them apart again. Before she can stomp a second time, the blonde twists her hips violently, pulling her right ankle free of Ivy's grip and driving the heel of her boot into Ivy's belly. Ivy doubles over as the platform ramrods into her gut. A quick snap upward and her boot clips Alabamian chin, snapping Ivy's head back sharply, red hair flying in all directions.]

Tammy: "Quick thinking by St. James."

Buck: "Did you just use thinking and St. James in the same sentence?"

Tammy: "Shut up."

Buck: "Testy, aren't we?"

Tammy: "Sandra rolls to her side, massaging her aching crotch as Ivy staggers back into the ropes. She looks a little disoriented. I wonder if that's residual from the concussion?"

Buck: "More likely St. James' airhead is contagious."

[Sandra slowly gets to her feet as Ivy leans back into the ropes, shaking her head. The blonde bombshell starts to jog toward the redhead, leaping at her with another lethal elbow. BANG! Direct hit on the forehead. Ivy slumps into the ropes, sitting on the middle strand, holding her head in anguish. Sandra, getting her wind back, pulls Ivy to her feet by her wrist, whipping her across the ring and into the ropes on the opposite side. Ivy hurtles into and off of the ropes again, springing out of control back toward the blonde. Sandra jumps in the air, snaring her legs around Ivy's head and torquing her body around, pulling the redhead off her feet and down to the mat face first. THUD!]

Tammy: "Wow! A modified hurricanna. She's really taking advantage of Ivy's residual concussion. She's been high flying and hitting head with every opportunity."

Buck: "I can't believe you just said that!"

Tammy: "What?"

[Buck looks at her with a grin and raised eyebrow.]

Tammy (blushing): "Pervert!"

Buck: "So?"

[Sandra kneels next to the fallen Armstrong, sitting on the small of her back, raises the redhead's torso off the ground, drapes her arms over her thighs and interlocks her fingers under Ivy's chin. Pulling back, she applies a perfect camel clutch, putting excruciating pressure on her spine, neck and chin.]

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What's the matter, Alabama. Too much for you? I thought you were tough."

[Ivy's arms flail mindlessly as she is bent painfully backwards. Her head is spinning, her back is screaming, her chest is laboring and she's perspiring like a fountain. Sandra begins to rock back over and over again, each pulse sending massive pain down her opponent's spine. Ivy is beside herself, her mind screaming at her through the pain in her head that she needs to get out of this. Waving her arms, she manages to grab onto the blonde's right wrist. Pulling up on her interlocked hands, Ivy manages to get one near her mouth.]

"OWWWWW!!!"

[Sandra cries out as Ivy Belle chomps down on her hand. Shaking her head sharply from side to side like a shark tearing at an unfortunate tuna, she digs her teeth into her tormentress' hand. Sandra frantically tugs at her hand, finally managing to pull her hand free of Ivy's jaws. Rolling off of her prone foe, Sandra cradles her hand, pain etched on her face.

Ivy rolls away toward the ropes. Slowly getting to her feet with their help, she glares at the blonde. Staggering over to her, she manages to get her into a kneeling position in front of her. Clamping her talons of her left hand into Sandra's shoulder, she claws at the muscles beneath. Sandra grimaces, reaching over to try to pull her attacker's hand off. With her free hand, Ivy digs her nails into the blonde's eyes, tearing at the sensitive flesh. Sandra screams as her neck and eyes are brutally clawed by her rival. Her hands tug frantically at the hand clawing her eyes, trying desperately to pull it free. Finally after a war of wills, Sandra manages to painfully extricate the digits from her vulnerable eyes. Ivy sneers at her kneeling foe, twirling her hand in the long blonde tresses and tugging the hurting actress to her feet. Yanking her hard, she pulls her to the ropes and forces her face into the top strand. Pulling along the rope, she scrapes her eyes across it, Sandra's cry of pain a bizarre accompaniment to the tune Ivy is playing on her face. Pulling back on St. James' hair again, she smiles, seeing the pain and pinking she's causing. Grabbing Sandra's chin with her other hand, Ivy opens the blonde's mouth as wide as it's designed to open, maybe wider. Forcing her face back towards the top rope, she shoves her wide open maw onto the top rope, the cable tearing at her sensitive lips and skin around her mouth. Sandra shudders as she nearly gags on her rope-filled mouth.]

Buck: "Open wide for chunky!"

Tammy: "Sandra is really in pain as Ivy drags her face along the rope, the rope shoved into her mouth tearing at her lips and scraping her teeth and tongue."

Buck: "I have to say that, for a girl with a massive headache, Ivy's being pretty inventive. I've never seen that move before."

Tammy: "Neither has the referee, who looks a little confused. I don't think he knows if it's legal or not."

Buck: "Idiot. Why can't Maurie hire some decent referees?"

[Ivy pulls Sandra's head back off the ropes. The blonde collapses to the mat, hands over mouth.]

Buck: "It's too bad those hands don't cover more of her face."

[Ivy pulls her blonde adversary up by her hair, pulling her sharply forward into a knee to the crotch, her bikini bottom doing nothing to cushion the blow. Sandra shudders as the knee plows into her vitals, bone on bone sounding loudly in the arena. Ivy pulls her in a second time, but Sandra shoves both fists straight ahead, slamming into Ivy's breasts. The stunned girl stops in mid pull, wincing as her opponent makes flapjacks out of her prize assets. Sandra takes the opening given and raises her arms in a circular motion, knocking Ivy's arms to the side.]

Tammy: "A quick reversal by St. James! She quickly grabs the redhead's head."

Buck: "Bet you couldn't say that again for a hundred dollars."

Tammy: "Sandra runs toward the ropes, Ivy's head tucked under her arm. Bouncing off the bottom rope, she springs back into the ring and..."

[BOOM!!!]

Tammy: "... She slams Ivy's face into the canvas with a withering flying bulldog."

Buck: "Again with the head! Doesn't this girl know any other body parts? Go after her tits or something! Sheesh!"

[Ivy lies face down on the mat, her right leg kicking the mat. Sandra has double crossed her. Expecting a power blitz, Sandra has instead stuck to an aerial assault, targeting her head. Stunned, her head throbbing, vision whirling, Ivy tries to rise to her feet, reaching her hands and knees, shaking her head. Slowly she gains her feet, legs wobbly beneath her.]

Buck: �Look out, Ivy!�

Tammy: �Sandra bounces off the ropes� Ohhhhh! A devastating clothesline! She nearly took the southern belle�s head off with that one! Ivy hits the mat like a pile of bricks, lying flat on her back. I don�t know if she�s going to be able to get up from that one.�

Buck: �Of COURSE she will! There�s no way that airhead can beat Ivy!�

Tammy: �Sandra is climbing the ropes in the corner. Standing on the top ropes, she signals to the excited crowd. Here it comes � the Stargazer! St. James bounces up and down to get a little extra leverage. Off she goes! Look at that height!�

Buck: �Owwwwwwcheeewaaaaawaaaaaaaaa!�

[Sandra backflips through the air, landing flush on her target. Both women bounce off the mat, Ivy�s body spasming as her torso is mashed beneath the bikini blonde. With Ivy stunned and unresisting beneath her, Sandra hooks her leg, holding her for the count.]

Tammy: �One��

Buck: �No!�

Tammy: �Two��

Buck: �NO!�

Tammy: �Three.�

Buck: �NOOOO!!!!�

[The referee calls for the bell.]

Tammy: �St. James wins it! What a great way to start a comeback!�

Buck: �She got lucky. If Ivy hadn�t been attacked by Van Buren and her mallet, she wouldn�t have had the concussion and she would have easily wiped the floor with her.�

Tammy: �That says maybe. Sandra gets the �W� and a good start back.�

[Sandra acknowledges the crowd�s reaction, raising her hands over her head in triumph. Keeping a watchful eye on the prone but now stirring redhead, she basks in the crowd�s cheers. Mounting the corner ropes, she blows them a kiss. Hoping down, she slips through the ropes before the stirring Alabamian can try to pull something. Leaving the ring, she slaps hands with some of the crowd.]

Your winner: Sandra St. James