* Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.
* "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating this happy, happy day!
* "My dear Professor I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly." -Dumbledore
* "It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madame Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs." -Dumbledore
* Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel -- Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.----
* "... Scars can come in handy. I have one above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground..." -Albus Dumbledore
* .. they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond.
* "They stuff people's head down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," [Dudley] told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"
"No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it -- it might be sick." Then he ran before Dudley could work out what he'd said.
* "Get the mail, Dudley..."
"Make Harry get it."
"Get the mail, Harry."
"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley.".
* "I'm not Fred, I'm George," said the boy. "Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you tell I'm George?"
"Sorry, George, dear."
"Only joking, I am Fred."
* "Aaah, has ickle Ronnie got somefink on his nose?" said one of the twins.
* "Can't stay long, Mother," he said. "I'm up front, the prefects have got to compartments to themselves--"
"Oh, are you a prefect, Percy?" said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. "You should have said something, we had no idea."
"Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it," said the other twin. "Once--"
"Or twice--"
"A minute--"
"All summer--"
"Oh, shut up," said Percy tthe Prefect.
* "Now, you two-- this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've -- you've blown up a toilet or--"
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mom."