Issue No. 184 - 5th June 2004

Subscribe/Un-Subscribe/Contact links can be found

at the botton of this Newsletter.

A Warm Welcome to new subscribers of the

Red Dragon Newsletter

Adult Jokes, Cartoons, Funny Pictures & More

*****

It's not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick...

I've always believed in magic.

*****

Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons

because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Please feel free to mail me any articles that you would like published

- remember, you get the credit - and all Jokes are welcome.....

Now, on to today's Fun:

~ ~ ~

TODAY'S FUNNY QUOTE

My wife was surprised that I didn't know what a
"pig in a blanket" was, so she told me that it's a
wiener covered with hot cheese and stuck inside
a crescent roll. Hey, how was I supposed to
know my freakish masturbation fetish had a name?
(Mark D. Sabien)

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~ ~ ~

News From The Jokeworm Office ©

Suzanne said, "So I guess my ex wanted to distract me
because right in the middle of the argument he stopped
and said, 'Now, hon. You know I want what's best for
you!'"

Ambrosia replied, "What'd you say to that?"

"I asked him, 'How soon can you be packed and out

of here, then?'"

~ ~ ~

Gail: I had to take the bus the other day, and a
gentleman asked his young son to give up his seat

"for the lady" - ME!

Marg: Well, that was just common courtesy, right?

Gail: I don't know. The boy was sitting on his
father's lap!

~ ~ ~

JOKEWORM - NEWSLETTERS

Are you getting everything you deserve?

Jokeworm.com has 25+ newsletters to choose from.

Click Below to View all of our newsletters.

http://jokeworm.com/subscription

and don't forget to visit our web page

For funny vids, pics, jokes, powerpoint shows,
Quotes, and loads loads more....

http://Jokeworm.com

Jokeworm.com has got a new website !

Hundreds of FREE adult images - changes daily !

Dont miss it - go there NOW

http://hotgirls2u.com

~ ~ ~

(From Funnyfunnels Phill)

An elderly couple were on a visit to Australia and were

driving along in the outback when they saw a man

copulating with a kangaroo. A few miles on, they saw

another man copulating with a kangaroo.

"That's disgusting," said the husband. "I'm going to report

this to the hotel when we get back."

They arrived back at their hotel, only to see a man with a

wooden leg masturbating on the front step of the hotel.

The husband stormed in to see the hotel manager.

"My wife and I are appalled. This is a five-star hotel and

we've seen two men having sex with kangaroos and just

now we saw a wretched man with a wooden leg

masturbating on the steps of your hotel. What have you

got to say?"

The manager replied: "C'mon, mate, you expect a guy

with a wooden leg to catch himself a kangaroo?"

~ ~ ~

Jokeworm's Random Daily Links

Note - we have added a Voting link to each category ..
Feel free to use them!

*NEW* Funny Pics: http://www.jokeworm.com/newpics/
*NEW* Cute Pics: http://www.jokeworm.com/newcleanpics/

*NEW* Clean Jokes: http://www.jokeworm.com/cleanjokes/

*NEW* Adult Jokes: http://www.jokeworm.com/jokes2

*NEW* Trivia: http://www.jokeworm.com/trivia/

*NEW* Babes: http://www.jokeworm.com/newbabes/

*NEW* Hunks: http://www.jokeworm.com/newhunks/

Fun Stuff:

Gillete: the best a cat can get! (Funny Picture)
http://www.cutefunnyanimals.com/gillete.shtml
Too Big! (Dirty Photo)
http://www.funnyinside.com/TooBig.shtml

Female Anatomy for Guys! (Dirty Picture)
http://www.funnyinside.com/FemaleAnatomy.shtml

Man's Torture! (Adult Animation)
http://www.funnyinside.com/Torture.shtml
Oops! (Adult Funpage)
http://www.rudefun.com/funpages/oops.html

~ ~ ~

(From Claudia)

The rabbit goes for a walk through the woods. He is in

a good mood, his fingers are tucked behind his suspenders

and he prances around the forest, generally being happy

and content.

As he walks through the woods he passes by the fox hole

and sees the three baby foxes playing outside.

Says the first little fox: "Hey rabbit, if my mom sees you,

she gonna eat you."

Says the rabbit: "And if I see your mom, I'm gonna screw

her up the ass."

The next day, the rabbit passes by the foxes again and the

second little fox yells: "Hey rabbit, if my mom sees you,

she gonna eat you."

Again the rabbit replies: "And if I see your mom, I'm gonna

screw her up the ass."

The day after that the rabbit passes by the foxes again and

the third fox yells: "Hey rabbit, if my mom sees you, she

gonna eat you."

And again the rabbit replies: "And if I see your mom, I'm

gonna scr..."

At that moment the mother fox storms out of her hole and

starts chasing the rabbit all around the forest. But, he makes

it back to his hole and runs in deeper and deeper into the

labyrinth of passages, entries and exits. The mother fox is

still behind him, until - the rabbit's hole is too narrow and

she is stuck, unable to move forward or backward.

In the meantime the rabbit crawls out of an exit hole. He

is a bit shaken, stands up, brushes the dirt from his fur and

then walks back to the entrance hole. He tucks his fingers

behind his suspenders again and says to himself:

"I'm not really in the mood, but I promised the kids."

~ ~ ~

Jokeworm - Fun-Links

Can't be bothered Surfin' ? Is typing WWW just too much?

Then let Mike - The Welsh Wizard take the strain for you.

I will provide you with Fun and Adult links all carefully

researched by our specialist team of deadbeats and loafers.

And Newly added - Music Downloads - Watch the latest

videos and get to download them and MP3 files even before

they are released..

Sent Twice Weekly - Subscribe Here for the FUN:

http://jokeworm.com/subscription/sub/funlinks.html

~ ~ ~

Jim and Ed wanted to go drinking, but they only had a

dollar between them. Jim looked over at a hot dog

wagon nearby, and had a sudden inspiration. He spent

the dollar on a hot dog. He threw the bun away and

stuffed the hot dog down his underwear.

"We're gonna walk into the bar, order beers and drink

them down. When the bartender asks for payment, I'm

gonna stick this hot dog out my fly and you're gonna

drop to your knees and start sucking on it. The bartender

will be so grossed out that he'll immediately throw us out

of the bar," said Jim.

They entered a bar and the gambit worked like a charm.

After the seventh bar, they were both extremely drunk.

Ed started complaining, "Sheesh, I'm starting to get bad

bruises from dropping down on my knees."

Jim slurred, "You think you got problems? I lost the hot

dog four bars ago!"

~ ~ ~

PC/Internet Tip/Download of the Day

PP MailCheck v1.9

Saturday Jun 5, 2004

Freeware

File Size: 1.9Mb

Platforms: ALL Windows

With PP MailCheck you can handle emails waiting on a POP3 server. You can

preview the mails from the server and directly read / delete or reply to the mail.

It comes with several options to inform you about new mails. You can get a cool

popup (2000/ME/XP), a balloon hint from tray bar or a sound. The popup not

only tells you that you have mail, but also the sender and subject of the mail.

It also has an easy to use and a advanced programmable spam filter, to which

you can add text, mail adresses or program rules. With the advanced feature you

can also use wildcards and parameters, and set the filter to reply to certain emails

with text and parameters. MailCheck can also copy itself to a floppy disk, so you

can run it to check your mail on another computer. This version includes lots of

changes, including more programmable rules and new features.

Download directly from the developer:

http://www.ppsoft.dk/mailcheck_eng.htm

~ ~ ~

Short.....But Sweet.....

Why can't single women fart?

They don't get an asshole till they get married !

How do we know God is a man?
Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.

How can you tell if you're at a anorexic stag night?
The cake jumps out of the girl.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
Most of the time you just get an onion with long ears.
But every now and then, you luck out and get a piece
of ass so profound and endearing it brings tears to
your eyes...

What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

Why are New Yorkers always depressed?
The light at the end of their tunnel is New Jersey

(From BW Zollinger)

A Black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says "Hey, where did you get him?"

The parrot says "Hell I got him in Africa, They're just

giving them away!"

(From Lynda Croft)

Two old ladies met in the mall.

First old lady: "Did you come by bus"?

Second old lady: " Yes I did, but I tried to make it look

like an asthma attack"!

~ ~ ~

RedDragon Fun Sites

Beautiful Gay

http://www.philipcrammond.com/david/

A little video package dedicated to Daffyd from

'Little Britain'. Put on at work, turn up loud, and

watch people get totally confused.

Crabby

http://www.otterarchives.com/cotc.html

Top notch investigation/murder mystery game

that'll have you playing throughout your lunch

hour, and the rest of the afternoon.

Pure Charisma

http://www.buffy.nu/article.php3?id_article=4478

She started off in Buffy, and true to form Charisma

Carpenter's recent Playboy pics certainly warm the

blood. These are unpublished, by the way.

Nice Strip

http://www.muchosucko.com/video-worldsbestsister.html

Ever wondered what it's like hiring a flat chested stripper

for a night in with the lads? Now you know.

(WARNING - Whilst every care is taken to check out the above links, there are sad people out there

who attach Viruses, Spyware, Malware etc.

Please ensure that your anti-virus software is running when visiting websites)

~ ~ ~

Two storks are sitting in their nest - a father stork and

baby stork.

The baby stork is crying so the father stork is trying to

calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come

back. She's only bringing people babies and making

them happy."

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother

and son are sitting in the nest, and the baby stork is

crying again.

The mother says, "Son, your father will be back as

soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new

mommies and daddies."

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate

because their son has been absent from the nest all

night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents

ask him where he's been all night.

The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the

crap out of college students!"

~ ~ ~

A Final Word From The Welsh Wizard

Mike cuddled up to his wife, Cindy, and softly whispered

into her ear:"Could we make love, please dear?"

"Not tonight, darling, I've got a splitting headache," she

replied.

"Please, I'll only stick it in for a minute," pleaded Mike.

Cindy replied:
"What do you think I am, a fucking microwave?

~ ~ ~

If you have any amusing articles, jokes, toons or funny pictures

that you would like to submit - please send them to:

The Welsh Wizard

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