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When people ask me why Chester A. Arthur, a President that the ignorant masses have never heard of, is my favorite historical figure, I say, "That was the dumbest question I've ever heard. I mean, they say that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but I think you just found it. Wow, I think I'm getting dumber just standing next to you." Okay, that was probably a little harsh, but isn't it obvious? Chester A. Arthur did more for these United States than any other man, woman, or trained ape this country has ever seen. This of course is just my opinion, but you can trust me because sometimes I'm right. There might be a trained ape that has done more, but no one else. Still don't know who he is?

Chester A. Arthur:

-was our 21st President.
-brought Civil Service Reform which is still in place today.
-was single (widowed) during his time in office.
-had no Vice-President.
-used machine politics to get into office, then basically outlawed them during his presidency.
-threw a party just about every week, after hiring a fancy New York designer to refurbish the White House, and removed over 20 wagons of old junk before he would move in.
-looked cool. I mean look at that facial hair!