submitted by the Kate Monkey Girl herself....

when i was a wee lad, i had a wee problem. MATCHING KNIVES AND FORKS.
They've ruined my life! I used to have cook dinner every night so I'd start using matching knives and forks, until one day i couldn't find a complete matching set. So what happened? I burst into tears because i couldn't handle it. I realised then i had a PROBLEM. So i started to ween myself off the matching knives and forks. Its been really hard- there's been tears, tantrums, freaking out, running out of the kitchen, breaking out into a cold sweat...sometimes i think about them for up to 5 hours each day. Each meal time is hard. Each time i see matching knives and forks i shudder.
Yet there's no support groups.

N.B.- i have nothing against spoons. In fact, i encourage them.