The Real Me
------ Buckle your belts... this could get bumpy ------
| No Simple Task In a world filled with societies and cultures that demand clear-cut black and white thinking, there are a few of us, maybe more than a few, that simply don't seem to fit in. Racial, Financial, and Gender stereotypes abound, as the few truly linear thinkers attempt to label everything, and the masses twist and pervert them to give the labels a myriad meanings. I think that automatically judging a person by race, creed, color, sex, and/or gender is a bad idea even in principle, but it's so prevalent in American culture that most of us are forced to deal with it as a constant. So often anyone who dares to stray from the perceived line of 'normal' runs headlong into the 'different is WRONG' witch hunt mentality. And this is where people like me seem to fall through the cracks and into the gears of our society. Some get totally chewed up, and are never seen again. Some deny themselves, claw their way back up, and simply move on, forever dying inside to 'maintain appearances'. And then there are folks that refuse to allow society to dictate what is allowable based strictly on the comfort of the masses. Those happy few... that is where I fit in. So What Am I? Well, now, that entirely depends on your viewpoints and beliefs. One family member has called me an abomination. Another says that Jesus can 'fix' me. My mother makes no claims to understand, and seems to blame herself for my 'deviation'. My father does likewise, though I think he understands less still. Various friends, now past acquaintances, have called me a disgusting freak, and a few names that even /I/ won't say out loud. On top of it all, there've been physical attacks. And still I am here, and still, I am what I am. Violence will not salve my pain, nor will religion. What am I? I deal daily with a condition called Gender Dysphoria. I am a pre-operative transsexual. At least that's the assumption I'm operating under at present. You see, during all the tests that were run to isolate and diagnose my fibromyalgia, there were 'shadows' detected in my abdomen. Shadows that are consistent with internal female reproductive organs. What was once a 'simple' issue has become very complex, and possibly life threatening. I am not a 'homo', or a 'queer', or a 'sissy'. I simply am what I am. I could be your neighbor, your boss, the guy or gal that fixes your car, or even someone in your family. I don't need your pity, nor do I need your scorn. If you don't wish to help me towards -my- goal, then please do me the kindness of getting out of my way. -Elisabeth Margaret October, 2000 Updated September, 2001 May 2002 Update And the times just continue to stay rough. Because of other health issues (both related and unrelated), I'm permanently out of work and fighting for my disability pension and SSDI. The long and the short of the issue is that I'm now on the verge of losing my home. Lucky me. At any rate, I'm now doing anything I can think of to scrape together the money to save things here, and everything else has been put on the back burner pending the resolution of the cash flow and very serious home issue. /IF/ you are the kind of person who'd like to help, I do have a PayPal account. If you've got the scratch to spare, and don't mind sharing, donations are -certainly- appreciated. For the truly masochistic, you can learn a bit more about me here. |
 Myths About Transsexualism transsexual.org Gender Dysphoria - A Sensitive Approach An Open Letter to the Parents, Family and
Friends of a Transsexual |
