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Grounding:
�Where did you come from?� The first time a girl asked me
this question, it caught me completely off guard. �Guys like
you don�t exist.� Yes, it was a monster IOI, but it was also
a telling piece of feedback. Something wasn�t right. But
what was it?
Was I incongruent? Did I do something that conveyed my lack
of true confidence? What subcommunication was she picking up
on? A hundred more questions raced through my head.
Several days later, I happened across the answer. There was
a piece I hadn�t internalized yet. She wasn�t picking up on
any incongruence. I had done nothing wrong. But I had
omitted an important piece of information: my grounding
story.
When you begin to display extremely high social value, many
people will actually feel intimidated by you. Certainly,
having a woman feeling intimidated is counter-productive,
and grounding your life to hers is a perfect way to smooth
out this intimidation.
Grounding stories don�t have to be flashy or even that
interesting. A little information goes a long way. What
moments in your life sent it down this road? The beauty of
it is this: these are things that you probably WANT to tell
people that you meet so that they understand you and connect
genuinely with you.
Lately, I�ve had a lot of guys ask me where I was before the
game. How did I get to where I am now? I realized that they
want the same thing that woman wanted when she asked where I
came from. They want a grounding story.
Be forewarned, this story is not full of love and happiness.
The state of my life just a year ago was dark and twisted.
The only way I emerged from it was through a Twist of Fate.
Take a second to reflect on where you are in your current
game. Perhaps you have seen some minor success in the field,
or maybe you are still caught up in your head. I understand.
Sometimes it can be tough to blast through your most
challenging points and come out on the other side ready to
meet your true potential. |
