I just can't deal with all the shit that's going on in my life. You know what I'm saying. Fuck man i wish for one damn moment everyone would just sit back and realize how much there is expected of me. fucking i want to be happy. why can't i be happy? i don't know why i'm burdening you with this. sometimes i wish i was never bor. i feel like i'm nothing in this world. i fucking hate myself so much, i'm such a loser. i mean i'm obnoxious, annoying, barely passing high school, can't grasp any sense of a true reality, a drug addict, and have never had a job, or a girlfriend for that matter, fuck the list could go on forever. i can't even express how many times i've fucked up and i keep getting more and more chances. i don't understand it.
At this point i fell asleep. keep in mind that i'm not always like that, what am i talking about i obviously am, i just hide it or at least try to. i don't know why i'm so open right now. but none of that shit should matter and it fucking does you know. whatever though i need to fucking get a life and stop doing dumb shit but i don't think that will ever happen. thankyou anyone who has read this and understands it or at least feels the same in some way or another. i feel like a retard in a show putting on a pity me act but belive me please do this is not that. anyways i got to do some homework and hit this. yeah i'm out.
the serpent beast waits asleep under your pillow and slowly rapes your skull for delusion during your naps.
josh