josh
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| march 16th 2004 | ||||
| Hey there everyone who actually takes the time to read this shit... like it matters but eh you know i actually appreciate it cuz its like i waste my time and at least a little comes out of it. so these days are getting harder... as always. i don't know much eh. i don't know where i'm going or anything only what i need and should do but probably still won't because for some odd reason i just won't... i'd like to thank anyone who has been there for me as of late... especially a few across town... and my dear friend joe... i was really reluctant to open up like that but i did so you know its like you should feel special i don't tend to do that i want the two of you to know that i'm there if you need me ever i'm serious... i feel myself crumbling i feel everything around me crumbling and it kills me that i can't hold everything up... one day i pray this will change... though i find it interesting that i say i pray when i'm so agnostic about religion or moreso christianity these days... as i said i don't know where i'm going or what is going to happen all i do know is that i have to survive for if i don't than there is nothing left. today i awoke more than ready and willing to die... right now i feel the same... but for those brief moments today i felt like i had something that i was something and i found that people tend to care more than i think they do. i can no longer type i can no longer carry on this entry i will speak with you later... josh |
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