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| November 17th 2003 | ||||
| Today I write my first journal entry in a long long time... I cannot say much about why I haven't made any or kept this going. For starters, just one of several reasons, I am inconsistent. This is just one downfall. I am lazy, and I haven't remembered it in a while. See I keep a journal in my head, though. I know things and remember them well. I may not remember all of the dates but the feelings and memories are there. Anyways I'd like to thank anyone who actually read this, that is fucking awesome. So this is just a random entry and I guess I'm supposed to tell of my life and whatnot. Well it's fucked right now. I really don't know where I'm going... mostly nowhere. But I do know I am going to go somewhere soon, I'm going to have to. Lots of things have fucked with my head in the past 6 months or so, especially and mostly the past month or two. Everything is crumbled into this mess I am slowly starting to reconstruct. And I say often that I cannot do it alone, but I have to. For if I don't I'll become dependent and what not. I think you know what I'm saying. Well I don't know what to say but you know I'm not sure if things are getting better or worse. In a way it seems they may be. At the same time, in a sense I have this sure feeling that it can be either of the above. I don't know, it would be nice to know how everything will end up, of course then I suppose life really wouldn't be worth living. I do know one thing, though, and that is growing up, or what I would call "the worse total state of confusion" well it may have it's perks but man it sure can fucking blow donkies for pennies. Yeah well then goo, joshie c p.s. I have updated alot of shit recently, i shall update more and i will probably start writing more entries, as well as put some newer writings in that section. mainly due to the fact that everything in the current selections is slightly or extremely angry so i figured i will put in some of the new stuff, yeah alright then, peace love and hippiness... |
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