(Michael Cole is walking through the backstage area of the Arena Raw is set to take place at. We watch as he stops and watches the technicians taking equipment into the main arena and then he walks on, past the racks of chairs and through to a series of corridors. Laughter can be heard as soon as Michael enters this area and he looks to the camera crew with him.)

Michael: I think we should go and check this laughter out...follow me guys.

(They take the corridor to the right and walk straight down it, at the end of the corridor is the Office of William Regal. Michael stops and listens at the door, the laughter can still be heard. Michael looks at the camera crew and he obviously gets a signal back, as he decides to just open the door and walk straight in.)

Regal: Well???

Michael: I could hear laughter and I decided to erm...

Regal: You decided to be a mannerless little torag, is that it?

Michael: No, it's just that with XWA having this twenty four hour access channel we need to...

Regal: Oh, I see, now you're blaming the XWA...your employers no less, I wonder what Mr McMahon would have to say about that. You know Michael, whether or not i'm laughing is absolutely none of your business. Infact, if I were choking to death and calling for help, I would rather that help didn't turn out to be an ugly and vile specimen such as yourself...I mean, just imagine if looking at you made y condition worse.

(Michael Cole is now standing absolutely speachless.)

Regal: WELL??? I'm assuming you've interrupted me for a reason...don't just stand there looking like Chris Benoit cutting a promo, say something man.

Michael: I...I...I was wondering what the laughter was, first of all, and also whether or not you have anything to say to or about Crush.

Regal: Ah yes, Mr Adams. You know Michael, the world has seen many a funny man...Tommy Cooper, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eddie Murphy can be funny, Bill Hicks and Billy Connelly all spring to mind. But, the tape I have just had the chance to watch is absolutely the most funny and laughter inducing little piece I have ever watched. So, to answer your first question, I was laughing whilst watching Crushs' latest promo and also whilst looking over a few old clips and a magazine.

Michael: So, you've got a few things to say about Crush then.

Regal: Of course I have you bloody pillock. I mean, it's not bad enough that you walk in here unannounced. Oh no, I extend my hand of courtesy and you are still acting like a man with no manners...I mean, what do your parents think of your behaviour? It must be enough to make them throw a few bananas around the cage I'd imagine. Anyway, anyway, I'd rather get you the hell out of here, so I shall press on.

You know Michael, the first thing I have noticed is Crushs' utter lack of intelligence. I mean, who can forget when he was outplayed by Doink at Wrestlemania IX? Imagine, just imagine if you will, having Matt Bourne and Steve Keirn, of all people, get one over on you. Oh look out, there's a second Doink...haaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha, marvellous. Then, his falls count anywhere match versus Randy Savage where he was tied upside down by the fellow. Crush may be big, but I doubt there's much in the way of brains up here.

Extend the point further and let's look at his accusations that he is the only one of Championship material. I was the four time WCW Television Champion, I defended that belt all over the world and I've held more gold than he ever has or will infact. But, that's not where his proof of lack of intelligence ends. Take a look at my television screen across the room there...wait whilst I find the still, ah there it is...look at this Michael, just look!

Regal: Does this look, to you, as a man displaying any sort of intelligence? Just look at him, he's struggling to even remember his name. Plus, WHAT IS WITH THAT HAIR??? Is he looking at the floor for answers, what does he expect to find? Perhaps he's just not used to standing up and is more used to being pinned and looking up at the lights. He's an imbecile Michael and RAW will be easy. But, that's not all I have to say or show you.

During his promo, Crush, asked me how you take down a man as big as him. Well, I've looked at some tapes of his and I've come to the conclusion that he is slow and lumbering...in fact, he's about as lumbering as Scott Norton or some other ape with no brain. It'll be my pleasure to take out a leg, then give him a thorough beating that he will never bloody forget. But, that's not my only game plan Michael. It's known I'm the Goodwill Ambassador, but I'll be extending no goodwill to this lug of a man. I intend to leave every inch of his body racked in pain...but, let me assure you that I won't take the road Doink obviously felt would work. Just look at the monitor again Michale...

...WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS DOINK DOING? Is that even legal? No Michael, I have my own ways of taking Crush down and they will all be a lot less pleasurable than Doink's attempts.

I've been fighing grown men since I was fifteen years of age Michael, it's no family picnic in a Blackpool leisure beach tent I can tell you. I've also fought the likes of Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks, Crush is light a bloody Cruiserweight compared to those two. "Crush me in the palm of his hand" he says, well I'm sorry but that's not the sort of match we are having. I'll leave that sort of competition to the likes of Johnny Storm in England, thank you very much.

Now, I'm almost finished Michael, I'd like to point out that all this Crush fellow ever goes on about is his stupid vice crusher move. Well, how will he feel after the Regal Stretch, a swift punch to the face, Regal powerbomb or a whole number of other unspeakably vile things that I could do to him? Believe me Michael, I'll leave Crush wishing he was still just a member of Kronik beating up small boys on WCW Worldwide. But, let me leave you with this Michael. He may have looked stupid through his words the other day...but just look at the front cover of this magazine.

(Regal throws a magazine across to Michael Cole.)

Regal: I think I can leave everyone with that image...now, get out of my Office.