If you have any information whatsoever of the whereabouts of these murderous criminals, please contact your local police department or call our AntiEvilSuperheroes hotline, which is available at 867-5309.
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| THE DAILY PLUNDERER | |||||||||||||||||||||
| September 26, 5003 | |||||||||||||||||||||
| EVIL SUPERHEROES INVADE THE US! | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| Recent horrific events show that the U.S. is being invaded by people who call themselves "evil super-heroes"! Their names are CRG, which is said to be short for "Crazy Russian Guy", and a woman who is known only as "Dementress". Please keep an eye out for these creatures and avoid them if at all possible! Police are still on the lookout for these otherwordly invaders. Who will deliver us from these horrific criminals? | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| "She was just walking along and all of a sudden we hear like this evil laugh and this weird-looking woman just grabbed Cassie from behind. I barely had enough time to take this picture," Says Jessica Wverdo of Cassandra's abduction. No one still knows the whereabouts of the girl. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| This evil duo has already attacked and captured many helpless Earthlings, taking them off to their secret lair at Who-Knows-Where. Those they have captured include one Cassandra Brite, a college freshman who they accosted in the basement of her dormitory. "I don't mind that she's gone, because she was kind of weird," states Jessica Wverdo, her roommate, "but I'm just worried they'll come back for me." If you have any information whatsoever of the whereabouts of these murderous criminals, please contact your local police department or call our AntiEvilSuperheroes hotline, which is available at 867-5309. |
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| WHO WILL SAVE THE EARTH? | |||||||||||||||||||||