I Shrink Therefore I Am

Pilot: Unfortunately nobody is available to assist you at the moment.
John: Well what are they doing? Watching Jeopardy? Get them off their butts. Let me talk to Captain James T. D'Argo.
Noranti: (laughing) Captain James T. D'Argo.
Pilot: Ka D'Argo is currently helping Rygel with his laundry and Aeryn is writing some poetry.
John: Uh huh and what about Chiana and Sikozu?
Pilot: Enjoying each other's company, preparing a meal for everyone but Rygel. He's not hungry.

Sikozu: Not with these frelling cuffs on I can't.
Chiana: These what cuffs? I am so glad we extended you're vocabulary.

D'Argo: (to Axikor) Oh relax you'll see Crichton sooner or later.
Aeryn: A microt before he kills you.

Scorpious: I'm not your enemy. Be calm.
John: Oh I'm calm. I'm just a little twitchy cause, uh, you sold us out.
Scorpious: Nothing of the kind.
John: What its just coinkidink you're running on the loose?

John: I'm going wabbit hunting.
Scorpious: You can't take them all at once.
John: How dumb do you think I am? I'm taking them one by one, the Diehard way.
Scorpious: By luring them into an ambush? You could do with some assistance.
John: Do you think our relationship has progressed that far? (hands Scorpy gun) Just remember whose side you're on.

John: This is John Crichton paging the head Cylon. Pick up the phone Imperious Leader.

John: You know for a guy with no mouth you sure talk big.
Scorpious: Brilliant.
John: Why don't you come down here and find me Gort? Klaatu barada nikto.
Scorpious: Mission accomplished John.
John: Screw you.

John: Como estas la cucaracha.

John: You didn't expect me to give you a loaded weapon did you?
Scorpious: Well, yes.

John: Damn what the hell's this? It's like Mr. Pumpkinhead.
Scorpious: Organic Core. Bioengineered armor shell.
John: Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside.

Scorpious: And you have a weapon that works.
John: No this bazooka's out of ammo. You can have it.
Scorpious: I may well have joined the wrong side.

John: I'm going to need a volunteer for a dangerous mission.
Scorpious: The torment continues.
John: No one asked you.

John: So we've gone from Die Hard to Honey I Shrunk The Hostages.

Sikozu: I'm not a child!
Rygel: Bah! You're an infant. You've studied but you haven't experienced. You know nothing of life.
Sikozu: And you do?
Rygel: I've been around long enough to know how ignorant I am. I don't assume the universe obeys my preconceptions. Ha, but I know a frelling fact when it hits me in the face.

John: You're smoking. You know that's not good for ya.
Scorpious: The replacement cooling rods Sikozu have formulated does not function as well in times of exertion.
John: Then don't exert. Hit the bench. Go on.
Scorpious: How did you survive this far?
John: Charm. Good looks. Winning attitude.

John: Bear trap. Ugly, but creative. And that is how we survived.

John: (to Aeryn and Chiana)You're out of the Bounty Hunter bounty. But you're still tiny and you're stuck in a beer can.

Aeryn: What do we have?
John: We got you, me, a couple of DRDs and some weapons that only tickle the bad guys.

Chiana: It's just the dark. You don't know what's coming and there's nothing you can do. I hate that feeling.

Scorpious: Entropy will claim the universe before I bow down to a Scarren!

Aeryn: Might work. Probably won't.
John: Don't be small-minded.

John: Alright all the brothers down with the plan? (DRDs chirp) Be quiet. How are my little inaction figures?
Chiana: I can see but it's all blurry.
John: Right, if I get the time I'll do something about that.

John: Henchmen. Always the last to know and the first to get hurt. I got some bad news for you guys. Your, uh, boss? He's not a Battlebot, he's a Scarren.
Coreeshi Bounty Hunter: Ridiculous.
John: Yeah well take the can opener, find out for yourself. But you better do it quick because he's just called for a dreadnought to take him back to Scarrenburg.

John: If I'm lying, you can take it out on my hide. But if I'm tellin' the truth? Yeah, we're gonna smoke the peace pipe.

John: (to dead Coreeshi) Man, I hope you guys are under warranty.

John: Uh god it's still warm. Okay. Uh, nurse, I am uh ready for surgery.

John: (seeing small Rygel in can) Hey I got a Tadpole!

John: So you're an upper class Scarren? Not like the horse faces I'm used to.
Axikor: You'll soon be meeting more of me.
John: Remind me to shave.

John: (steps on small Axikor) One small step for man…

John: Donde esta la cucaracha?

Rygel: There's a wrinkled old woman floating outside the Forward Portal.
John: Whoa gigantic oops. Can you do me a favor? Pop outside the tier three treblin side hatch and haul Granny out?
D'Argo: Noranti is outside?
John: Yeah don't ask. She got some red Play-Doh in her pocket. A dose of that when she gets in and she should be all right.

John: Look on the bright side. It can't be as bad as some of the place we've been lately.
Aeryn: Trust me. It can.