Green Eyed Monster

John: Crais, I know you're in there, playtime is over, open the damn door.

John: All of the doors locked, the shower, ice cold so I'm freezing the boys off.
Aeryn: John, what are you talking about?
John: It's not really a problem, but you do not mess with my stuff. Where's Wynonna?
Crais: What?
John: Wy-no-na.

Crais: John…
John: Don't call me John!

Aeryn: Talyn, you've seen them both naked, perhaps you can tell us who's bigger.

John: It's totally black out there, this big guppy just locked us in.

John: You Jonah we have been swallowed, that is down and I for one do not want to be Budong chow.

John: Good, I must be smarter than I look.
Aeryn: That would be easy.

John: Damn.
Aeryn: Your twin got the brains?
John: No Crais, he's trying to make a point.
Crais: If I may interrupt.
John: Damn, open channel.

Aeryn: Still nothing…pitch black.
John: Could'a, would'a, should'a brought a flashlight.

John: Who's stupid idea was this anyway?
Aeryn: Yours.
Rygel: How can you frell up a simple rendezvous?
Stark: They're just not here.
Rygel: Not one of you deficients can properly read a chart.

Rygel: If those toeskas have left us, after all I've done for them.

Stark: Our ship's energy fields make us electro-magnetic candy.
Rygel: I've never heard anyone say that.
Stark: That's because they're all dead.

Rygel: I'm the eater, not the eatee.

John: Crais, no of course not here. Tell me he's got some pumps in the closet or an inflatable Scorvian or Wynonna.

John: You know I may have swallowed a quarter once or twice but this seems to me to be a little bit different. Can we not find an alternative, use an alternative orifice, blowhole or something?

John: So according to your scan assuming this Budong is not constipated, you're going to fly out the ass?

John: So you two, three, you three are going to be one. And anything I can do to help?
Crais: Not at the moment, no nothing.
John: Exactly.

John: Aeryn, you do not want me there.
Aeryn: I do want you there.
John: Why to throw rice? Forget it, I've seen my share of hardware insertion, I'm not watching.

John: Yes it's new, it's improved, it's the Finger of Friendship $19.95. But wait kids there's more.

John: Aeryn, do what you have to do.
Aeryn: I will.
John: Fine but do not sugarcoat it for me. Right thing to do my ass.
Aeryn: And what's that supposed to mean?
John: It means that you do things the way you want to when you want to, with who you want to do them with.
Aeryn: It's got nothing to do with what I want.
John: It's always about what you want. So yes walk back in there and let Crais stick a spike in the back of your neck.
Aeryn: Listen to me.
John: Brave new universe Aeryn, you and Crais. You can finally rejoin that peacekeeper family you've been pining for from the moment we met.
Aeryn: You have got this so…
John: Just don't pretend to me that it wasn't what you've always wanted.
Aeryn: You finished? You're right, I don't want you there.

Stark: My mother sucks what? (takes out Rygel's gag and Rygel vomits on him)
Rygel: You heard me.
Stark: What have you eaten?
Rygel: Waste funnel is in the back. I love that trick.

Aeryn: (after getting implant) He is beyond beautiful.
Crais: Welcome to our world Officer Sun.

Rygel: Inconvenient. Kiss my mivonks.

Stark: You're loose.
Rygel: Not half as loose as Chiana.

Aeryn: Crais has released a cable.
John: One more and we're Budong manure.

John: Get your fat hairy ass away from the mooring controls.
Crais: I see you've found a weapon. What do you intend to do with it? Shoot me?
John: That's one option.
Crais: Of course it is. We've come full circle John Crichton, now you want to kill me.

John: You see Crais, I don't have to kill you.
Crais: I wish you had. Talyn no! (screaming) Kill me!

Crais: In times of stress our emotions, our desires can merge and Talyn can gain a degree of control over me. Resistance causes pain.
John: Clarification, Talyn controls you?

John: (to Crais) I keep hearing that you've changed. I think weather changes and we just keep making the same mistakes.

Aeryn: (after Crais passes out) Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?

Stark: That's it. (picking off Rygel's vomit)
Rygel: That's vom-it.

John: Aeryn, I am doing everything I can to get us out of this absurdly large space-monster. I'm doing the good little soldier bit. What else do you want from me?
Aeryn: I want you to stop acting like a Drannit.
John: You know what, I have no idea what a Drannit is.
Aeryn: No don't play dumb with me, that hasn't worked for over two cycles John.
John: Aeryn, I am dumb. I don't understand you half the time and I have no idea what a Drannit is.
Aeryn: Fine forget the Drannit.
John: Fine, screw the Drannit. (Aeryn smiles) What?
Aeryn: You really have no idea what a Drannit is do you?
John: What's a Drannit.

Rygel: (to Stark) Oh wonderful, they're alive. Now you can torture them with your inane dribblings.

Rygel: Beautiful Stark, now they can die laughing.

John: Okay, I'm there. Man you guys should see this ugly sticky flesh. Kinda like my Aunt Ruth's special Jello.

John: Stark, you ready yet? I'm stuck out here in Spam land.

John: (after Stark's indecisive orders) Damn gotta love that boy's confidence.

Aeryn: Don't you like to me Crais. This is not about what Talyn wants. You have taught him everything he knows. This is about you, me and John.
John: Talyn, I've been reviewing this situation. Aeryn's pretty pissed at me but she kinda likes me. Crais, well he hates me but he's not stupid. He knows if he kills me that Aeryn would do the math and his shot at domestic bliss would be cut off along with his balls. That leaves one suspect, open the door you soulless pig-headed, adolescent prick!

Aeryn: Talyn show me. (sees empty door) The truth (sees John at the door screaming). Peacekeeper lies.
Crais: I'm…
Aeryn: So you should be.

Aeryn: Talyn, I want you to share something with me. Before he dies you can taste something that is denied to peacekeepers. Something that you will never know. (John reaches out, Aeryn closes her eyes) Can you feel that? Good Talyn. That is what it is to need someone. You don't need me. You never will.

Crais: Before you go, this contains various surveillance logs. I believe Talyn showed them to Crichton. Have you seen them?
Aeryn: No
Crais: Perhaps you should. Some of the entries are very creative.

Aeryn: Have you seen this? (show chip)
John: Yeah.
Aeryn: When did you see it?
John: Aeryn I'm not your boyfriend, I'm not your husband, I'm not your anything. You can do what you want.
Aeryn: It's not real. You know that don't you? The last part Talyn altered the image. I never procreated with Crais. Not that it should matter.
John: It does.
Aeryn: It never did before. I had this life, I liked it. It had rules, I followed the rules and that made everything right. Then you come along and you frell everything up. This strange human with arrogance, stubbornness…
John: Dumb…
Aeryn: Let me finish. You saw the recording and you didn't say a word. You are like a plague John Crichton and you have ruined my life, and yet I just keep coming back. You could talk now.
John: Let me show you something. Come here, I'm not going to bite. This is a star chart. These are names I gave to stars.
Aeryn: They've already got names.
John: Yeah I know but Mintaka 3 sounds boring to me. Anyway, that's Huey, Louie, Dewie. You see that one, that's that star right there. It's my point of reference, my guide, and it always becomes the center of my chart. I always name it Aeryn.
Aeryn: You say it's your guide.
John: It's my one constant. Would you like to name some stars?
Aeryn: There's a lot of them.
John: And we can take our time.