Out of Their Minds

John: Have we sent the 'Don't shoot us we're pathetic' transmission yet?

John in Aeryn: (realizing body switch) Screw me, this is impossible.
Aeryn in Rygel: What the frell is going on? That's my body. I'm Aeryn, who are you?
John in Aeryn: I'm Crichton.
Rygel in John: By the Hynerian gods, I'm not me.

Rygel in John: What are you doing in my body?
Aeryn in Rygel: I don't know.
Rygel in John: But that's my, my, my body.
Aeryn in Rygel: I know, and this is my body.
Rygel in John: Oh Yotz, look at it. Look at what I am.

Rygel in John: I'm dreaming, yes that's it. I'm asleep and I'm dreaming. I'll wake up in my royal chambers surrounded by my concubines and everything will be fine.
John in Aeryn: Rygel listen to me.
Rygel in John: I'm not listening to you, you're a figment, you're part of my imagination.
(John in Aeryn bonks Rygel in John head off table)
Aeryn in Rygel: Oh that's great.
Rygel in John: That was real.
John in Aeryn: It's like the three freaking stooges, I'm hitting myself!

D'Argo in Pilot: Frell that, I can't do it Pilot. I try but I can't do it.
Rygel in John: Well you have to, I don't want to stay like this, you pathetic Luxan.
D'Argo in Pilot: Crichton, Rygel, who, whoever you are, I'll rip your head off if you don't shut up.

Rygel in John: I feel um, nothing, I just feel um…
John in Aeryn: What, is my body okay Rygel?
Rygel in John: Yeah, it's fine, just I think I have to (whispering) I have to pee.
John in Aeryn: Now?
Rygel in John: Yes, now right now yes.
Chiana in D'Argo: You can't go now you have to hold it.
Rygel in John: I don't know how to hold it Chiana I don't know this body.
John in Aeryn: Then go, just go.
Rygel in John: What here?
John in Aeryn: Over there now. D'Argo is this guy here yet?
D'Argo in Pilot: He should be here any microt.
Rygel in John: Um Crichton, can you show me how to do this?
John in Aeryn: Oh my god. Unzip.
Rygel in John: Right
John in Aeryn: Pull it out. Point it like a gun and shoot.
Rygel in John: Am I aiming it right?
John in Aeryn: Yes that's fine.

Chiana in D'Argo: Face the wall and spread your feathers big guy.

Rygel in John: (after peeing) By the Hynerian gods that is good. Yes, I'll just put this thing away (zips and catches) oh Yotz! That hurts, ahh…
John in Aeryn: Put it away and be careful Sparky.

D'Argo in Pilot: I'm beginning to understand. The glimpses I get of what you experience Pilot; they make my own life feel insignificant.
Pilot in Chiana: That's not true D'Argo.
D'Argo in Pilot: Indeed it is. I have memories of a son, of a wife, but you have seen the galaxies and the birth of stars.
Pilot in Chiana: But I have no memories of love or friendship, none, you have the remarkable memories D'Argo.

Rygel in John: As you can see, no weapons anywhere. If you ask me it's frelling ludicrous. My royal fleet, every ship had a hundred canons.
Aeryn in Rygel: Crichton, stop talking.

Aeryn in Rygel: What are you up to Rygel?
Rygel in John: Nothing, And my own body shouldn't be suspicious of me so rack off!

John in Aeryn: ("investigating" Aeryn's breasts) Oh moma!
Aeryn in Rygel: Crichton?
Chiana in D'Argo: What are you doing?
John in Aeryn: Oh c'mon man! They're here. They're right here. They've been here for a couple of arns and I just had to…
Aeryn in Rygel: You are mentally damaged.
John in Aeryn: No, I'm a guy. A guy. Guys dream about this sort of thing.
Aeryn in Rygel: I'll tell you one thing Crichton. If I find you've been dreaming anything else in my body I'll break your legs, even if they are mine.

Rygel in John: (After Halosian vomits) No, no that's alright, we do that sort of thing all the time here on Moya. I just peed in the maintanence bay.

Rygel in John: I want my body back.
Chiana in D'Argo: Now why would you want to do that? This body's much better.
Rygel in John: You think?
Chiana in D'Argo: I know. On Moya you don't have much competition. But this is as good as it gets sluggy.
Rygel in John: But this body is so white and it only lasts another forty pathetic cycles, mine will last four…(Chiana in D'Argo grabs Rygel in John) What are you doing Chiana?
Chiana in D'Argo: I want someone to go with me. It gets lonely out there.
Rygel in John: Normally you have to rub my eyebrows to make me feel like this.
Chiana in D'Argo: I'll rub you anywhere you want in the transport pod.

John in Aeryn: Show me the pavement pizza.
Rygel in John: You want to see vomit Crichton, nobody want to see vomit.

Rygel in John: Yotz, creeping vomit!

•Second switch•

John in Rygel: Yeah Zhaan wants to hear it from you. She won't listen to Rygel.
Rygel in Aeryn: I told you. You all say I'm paranoid, but it's frelling true no one ever listens to me.
John in Rygel: Can it fur ball.
Rygel in Aeryn: Great, now I'm getting yotz from my own body.

Rygel in Aeryn: Shoot the damn gun you blue assed bitch! I'm sick of all of this!

Rygel in Aeryn: Disgusting, 'If you say so John…Trust me it will be alright' and she believes it. Well yotz if I said that you'd all vomit.

John: (After switching again) Yotz, I'll just crawl back to my royal bedchamber.
(Aeryn looks puzzled)
John: Joke Aeryn, I'm back.
Aeryn: (laughing)You bastard!

Rygel: Oh, yes I'm back too, thanks for asking. Back to being me, back to being ignored.

D'Argo: I did want to say to you, that I really, really enjoyed being inside your body…oh, oh, um what I meant by that is that I…
Chiana: I know what you mean.
D'Argo: I really like your body.
Chiana: You like my body?
(The two leave together and pass John and Aeryn in hallway…)
Aeryn: Well, they certainly seem to be readjusting well.
John: Uh huh. They say you have to walk a mile in someone's shoes to understand them.
Aeryn: And I certainly know what you were doing while you were in my shoes Crichton.
John: Give me a break.
Aeryn: It's okay, it's okay you know, you were in my shoes I was in your pants.
John: Excuse me?
(Aeryn smiles)
John: You…!