I Saw Her Face
 

By Shaye

Disclaimer: Nope. Still not mine. Henson, Hallmark, Sci-Fi...you know the drill. Feedback: god yes! Archiving: Just ask if you have some strange desire for it. Notes: The song “I'm a Believer” has, for quite awhile, been the epitome of J/A songs to me...but I wanted to write it as a songfic, so I never said anything. The song’s recorded by The Monkees but was written, oddly enough, by Neil Diamond. Notes, part deux: The impetus I needed to write this fic came in the form of John’s very sexy singing voice revealing itself on The Mamas and the Papas’ “Dream a Little Dream of Me”. Now we know he actually sing this. Notes, part trois: The other impetus came in the form of EvilGroups' decision not to send or receive any mail tonight. I got bored. I wrote fic. Apologies to Jayce, who was looking so hard for fic to beta. I tend not to use beta-readers, as I'm picky about my grammar as I write anyway.

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John was trying to stay awake. He had the ‘graveyard’ shift on Command, and had not slept well the night before. He kept his mind alert by playing over various incidents of his life in his mind. He’d started with his bemusement at Aeryn’s reaction to his use of the term “graveyard shift” that night.

But soon his thoughts turned, not only to his relationship with Aeryn, but also to Earth. More specifically, to his relationship with Alex. How the two were so vastly different.

But his failed relationship with Alex was part of his romantic history. He thought it was sometimes hard for Aeryn to get used to the idea that she was not the only one who had a shadowed past. In point of fact, everyone on Moya did. He did, Zhaan, D’Argo, Pip, Sparky, hell, even Pilot. Even Moya herself, from what John understood of Aeryn’s story and the video they’d found.

A remembrance of Aeryn’s “lover” Velorek crossed his mind, and John’s brow darkened. Aeryn had gone through a lot of pain because of him, or rather as a result of her relationship with him. It seemed foolish sometimes for John to compare the heartache he’d felt at Alex’s betrayal to what Aeryn had gone through. But in the end he had to remind himself that until a little over a year ago, he didn’t even have a <context> for the things he witnessed here, except maybe in the movies. He’d just been a regular guy with a big dream, living his life like every other guy. Every other guy who’d fallen in love with a woman who didn’t love him back.

Which was part of the reason he couldn’t bring himself to pursue Aeryn as...vigorously...as he might have another woman. Only part of the reason, of course, the other larger part being that she could easily kick his eema if pulled some of the things he used to back in college.

But then had come Alex. He was head over heels for her, and after she left he’d been pretty sure he should just give up on love. That was, of course, until he saw Aeryn.

John stifled a yawn, shaking his head; attempting to shake off this line of thought. The deep soul-searching was making him even more tired. Not to mention that he wasn’t paying attention to any of the scans.

As he returned to work, still trying to invigorate himself, he started humming an old tune. It was familiar to him, but he couldn’t quite put words to it.

“La, da da, da dada daaaa da, ya ta da....Deee de de do la da lala laaa...”

He whistled the rest of the verse, and finally when he made it to the chorus the words fell into place and it all became clear. “Of course,” he murmured, smiling.

He softly sang, “Then I saw her face, now I’m a believer. There’s not a trace of doubt in my mind. I’m in love, mmmm, I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave her if I tried....” He chuckled, almost having to wipe away sudden tears at how perfect this silly little song was for the thoughts he’d been having.

Feeling invigorated now, he started from the top, singing loudly. That was one of the ways he’d made it through his all-nighters in college; turn up his tapes, sing loud enough that the other dorm-dwellers lodged hearty complaints. “I used to think that love was only true in fairy tales, meant for someone else but not for me. Love was out to get me, that’s the way it seemed, disappointment haunted all my dreams....” Before he could dwell on the truth of the statement, he launched into the refrain, which had given him hope. “Then I saw her face!” he almost shouted, “Now I’m a believer. There’s not a trace of doubt in my mind. I’m in love, mmmmm, I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave her if I tried...”

He took a breath to start on the next verse, and in that split second of silence he heard a voice behind him; someone cleared their throat.

He turned quickly, knowing who it was before he even saw her face. “Aeryn!” he said, not quite sure if he should be pleased or embarrassed.

Aeryn smiled crookedly from her place leaning against the door. “What are you doing, Crichton?”

He smiled back, widely, shaking his head. “Aw, not much. Just trying to keep away the Sandman.”

To Aeryn’s credit, she didn’t get irritated at this expression that seemed to make less sense than usual. She simply let a very confused look cross her face for a moment before she prepared to move past it.

But John saw her reaction and laughed. He added, “Not to be confused with the Sand <People>.” He winked at her, laughing even more when her frown deepened.

She shook her head. “I wonder if I’ll ever understand everything you say,” she said dryly. She uncrossed her arms, moving to stand closer to him. “Really, what were you doing...singing so loudly?”

He smiled even wider; he thought she was cute when she was confused. Half the reason he said the things he did right there. “Just trying not to fall asleep, Sunshine.”

She nodded, her unfastened hair falling across her shoulders.. “Right. And you do this by making a fool of yourself?”

“There’s a perfectly reasonable scientific explanation behind it, Aeryn. Singing requires deeper breathing than silence, or even normal speaking. Deeper and more frequent breaths increase the heart rate, which increase brain function and make, a human at least, less tired.” He grinned. “Besides, it’s fun.”

She nodded her understanding, or at least her acquiescence. And her curiosity got the better of her. “Sing it again, the song you were singing. I want to know if I heard the words correctly.”

His grin turned mischievous. “Only if you’ll dance with me.”

She gasped slightly, surprised by his response. “Me? No. I don’t dance.”

“By don’t do you mean <can’t> or ? Because both of those can be fixed.”

She shook her head, frustrated. “I just...don’t. I never have. Peacekeepers had no use for such things.”

He took her hand, reassuring. “You’ll do great. You’ve got such coordination, I <know> you’ll do great.”

Her head was buzzing slightly at the thought. Something about the late arn made her more susceptible to his charms. She nodded, agreeing. She almost immediately gasped and stiffened when he exclaimed “Great!” and pulled her to him, his hand around her waist. He hadn’t left any room between them. If this was how humans danced....

His mouth quirked gently at her obvious discomfort. “Just relax,” he breathed in her ear. She melted a little, and he smiled inwardly. So some of his old college tricks <did> work on Aeryn.

“Okay now,” he instructed her softly, “when the music starts, there’s a beat to it...a rhythm. And you just move in time to the rhythm. It’s like marching...only...jauntier.” He cringed at his choice of words. He was obviously reverting from college Don Juan to geeky adolescent at his first high school dance in Aeryn’s presence. John demonstrated the standard side-to-side step used in American dancing, then put her arms in the traditional ballroom position. He clasped her hand tightly.

“Ready?”

She nodded, very serious. “Like marching. Only jauntier.” <And sexier> she thought.

“Right,” he laughed, then began singing,

I used to think that love was only true in fairy tales Meant for someone else, but not for me. Love was out to get me, That’s the way it seemed, Disappointment haunted all my dreams.

John smiled softly at the shock that registered on Aeryn’s face, knowing that he knew <exactly> what she was thinking.

He didn’t give her time to think about it, though. She hadn’t been doing badly at dancing, but he threw her a curveball. As he began the chorus, he held tightly to her hand and flung her out in order to spin her. The shock intensified for a moment, until she felt John pull her back in, and then a smile bloomed on her face as she realized just what he was doing. He sang,

Then I saw her face, Now I’m a believer. There’s not a trace Of doubt in my mind. I’m in love, mmmm, I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave her if I tried.

His grip on her tightened as he sang the words that almost exactly echoed words he’d once spoken. A knowing look passed between them at the lyrics to the chorus, and they stopped dancing for just a moment. They could both feel the situation start to become awkward.

<Just keep singing, John> he thought blindly, deliberately shaking off the discomfort that threatened to break the spell. He began moving again, continuing to sing.

I thought that love was more or less a given thing-- Seemed the more I gave, the less I got. What’s the use in trying, All you get is pain. When I needed sunshine I got rain.

They momentarily glanced at each other when he talked about sunshine and rain. Aeryn smiled. He sang,

Then I saw her face, Now I’m a believer. There’s not a trace Of doubt in my mind. I’m in love, mmmm, I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave her if I tried.

By that time, Aeryn had really caught on. She was swaying just as ‘jauntily’ as John, and had even improvised a little. And she seemed to be catching on to the seductive side of dancing. John realized this quite happily. He decided to try a few more steps.

Ah, love was out to get me, That’s the way it seemed, Disappointment haunted all my dreams.

Aeryn recognized that part, and the logical part of her mind that had been gaining strength in her time aboard Moya told her what came next. She was perhaps as surprised as John when her voice softly joined his on

Then I saw her face, Now I’m a believer. He looked at her, surprised. She faltered a little, but when John smiled widely, they continued to sing,

There’s not a trace Of doubt in my mind. I’m in love, mmmm, I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave her if I tried.

John briefly wondered what their voices sounded like, blended together, to a person without translator microbes. He didn’t care though. He decided he could listen to Aeryn sing for the rest of his life. Aeryn was secretly thinking the same about John.

Aeryn stopped singing after the chorus, unsure of what came next. She was pleasantly surprised when John started in on the chorus again. The tune seemed a little different though, so she stayed quiet and concentrated on dancing.

Yes, I saw her face, Now I’m a believer. There’s not a tra-a-ace Of doubt in my mind. Well, I’m a believer, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, uh-huh...

John trailed off, not really sure how the song should end without instrumentals. As he did, their movements slowly came to a halt. They stood there, however, not moving, neither quite willing to let the other go just yet.

Aeryn was still amazed at how little space there had been between them that whole time. Her body was pressed into his, and it was beginning to make her flushed.

John cleared his throat. “So...that was the song,” he murmured.

She nodded. “It was...um, nice.” She had to fight to keep her from straining her neck away from him. He was just too close. His mouth was just too close and she was too warm.

“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it.” Smiling softly at her, he asked, “Um, so...why are you here anyway?”

She breathed deeply, remembering just why she’d come. I was not romantic. “I’m here to relieve your post.”

He was slightly taken aback. He’d forgotten. He also recognized her panic, recognized it in himself as well. He reluctantly released her from his grasp. The spell was broken.

They separated slightly, to a comfortable distance, no more. And for them, that wasn’t all that far.

“How do you know that song?” Aeryn asked.

He smiled. “When I was a kid, I’d go rifle through my parents’ old record collection. Dad wasn’t home most of the time, so I didn’t have to worry about whether they cared. That song’s called I’m a Believer. It’s kind of a part of my childhood.”

Aeryn smiled at the mention of his childhood. “Record?” she inquired, not sure what that meant.

“Yeah,” he smiled, finally realizing it was something that was easy to explain. “It was a round disc that had grooves on it, and the grooves contained information, like what the song sounded like. Then you put it on a turntable, which spun it around, and put a needle in the groove, and it kind of read the information that was on the record.”

She nodded. “Fascinating. A different approach than the data crystal.”

He smiled. “Yeah.”

After a brief pause, she took a deep breath and said, somewhat regretfully, “I should really be watching the controls. And you should go to bed.”

He nodded, a yawn coming over him now that their dancing had ended. He was even more tired. “I’ll see you in the morning, Aeryn. And thank you.”

“Thank <you>, John.”

John’s fatigue didn’t prevent him from singing, “I saw her face...now I’m a believer...not a trace....” under his breath as he wandered out of Command, turning at the door to give her a little nod.

Aeryn smiled indulgently after he was gone, turning to her duties. As she worked, she unconsciously sang softly, “I’m in love, mmm, I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave her if I tried....”

 

F I N I S