Pain. That is what Lance registered first. He was in pain. Severe pain. All encompassing pain. His side felt as if it were on fire. Fire the engulfed his mind and made it beg for the obliviousness of unconsciousness. Only the faint sounds of a familiar voice kept his mind from seeking that release that it yearned for.
"Lance, baby, come on. I can see you. You need to wake up for me, just for a minute. I just need to see those green eyes of yours, know you're ok, then you can go back to sleep." Justin's soft voice called to him in his hazy mind, bringing him closer to the surface, where he was drowning in pain.
"It hurts. Justin, make it stop." Lance's hoarse and strained voice begged the younger man next to him.
"Shh." Justin said, placing a calming hand on the clammy forehead. "It's going to be ok. I'm going to get the doctor. I'll be right back." Justin said, starting to move away to retrieve a doctor.
"No," Lance called to him, stopping him before he could take a step. "Stay here with me. Don't leave me. I don't want to be alone." Lance pleaded, willing to endure the pain as along as Justin stayed by his side. Lance was scared. More scared than he had ever been in his life. He was scared for himself. He was scared for his friends. They had found them so easily. Both times, they had gotten in so easily, and both time Justin's life had been endangered, along with the rest of the groups'. He knew that Justin shouldn't be near him. It was too easy for them to get to him. If Justin were near him, it would only put him in danger, yet again. Despite that reasoning, he couldn't bring himself to let Justin go. 'I'm such a selfish bastard.' Lance thought to himself.
"Lance, I need to get a doctor for you." Justin said, halfheartedly, but stayed beside the bed, taking Lance's hand in his. Justin couldn't stand to see this. It broke his heart. To see Lance, laying there, in pain, and afraid to be alone. It brought tears to Justin's eyes. Tears for what he had always longed for. Tears for that being right inside his grasp and him unable to take hold of it. Tears for their one moment of perfection being ruined. Tears for his love, in pain, scared, and seemingly all alone.
Along with those tears came anger. Anger at Lance for keeping this from them for so long. Anger at the people who put the man that he loved here in this impersonal hospital. The same people who had ruined the aforementioned perfect moment. Anger towards the people who had been plaguing Lance for months now, threatening his life, the same life that Justin held more precious than his own.
Justin was pulled from his thoughts of pain and anger by groan of pain. Looking to Lance, he could tell that the man needed some stronger medicine for the pain that he was experiencing at the time. Justin spied the nurse call button by the bed and pressed it. Only a minute later, a nurse, carrying a vase of flowers, entered the room.
"Can I get something for you?" She asked sweetly, setting the vase of flowers on a nearby table.
"I think he needs some stronger pain medicine. Do you think you could get a doctor for him?" Justin asked, using the same smile he used on countless fans everyday.
"Sure thing sweetie. I'll go find the doctor right now. These flowers came in for Mr. Bass a few minutes ago. The card is there amongst them." The nurse told Justin, leaving the room quietly.
After the nurses departure, Justin turned his full attention to Lance. His skin pale, his eye closed, his face scrunched in pain. Justin felt helpless. He wanted so much to be able to take that pain away from him. He would endure it himself if that meant Lance didn't have to, and he would do so with a smile on his face. That was a thought that Justin had to laugh at. It would only be one viscious cycle if they could do that. He would want to take the pain from Lance so that he would feel it. Then, Lance would want to take it away from him so he wouldn't have to feel it. If the pain could be transferred, they would probably fight over who got to keep it.
Justin was cut from his thoughts at Lance's, tight pain filled voice. But it was Lance's words that made his breath hitch in his throat.
"Justin, did I get the chance to tell you I love you?" Lance asked, turning his tortured eyes to the man standing beside the bed. Despite what happened, Lance wanted Justin to know that. If he never knew anything else about him, Lance wanted him to know that.
Lance saw the tears fill Justin's eyes, feeling bad for putting them there. He knew Justin was hurting as badly as he was. Perhaps not physically, but he was still hurting.
"You didn't have to Lance. I knew. I know." Justin said, sitting in the chair beside the bed, pulling it closer. He had yet to let go of Lance's hand, and for that small contact, Lance was grateful. Lance took comfort in that as he let the pain encompass him, pulling him into a dark restless sleep, his hand never leaving Justin's.
~*~
Justin rubbed his eyes wearily. Something had woken him up, but what? He had fallen asleep not long after Lance had. His head on the back of the chair he was sleeping in. Sometime during his sleep, leaning back in his chair, Justin had lost his grip on Lance's hand. That much he knew in his sleep hazed mind.
There was the noise again. A faint muffled sound. Almost like a groaning sound, with a slight swishing, like fabric moving around. The sound was foreign in the quiet hospital room.
Fighting his way to alertness, Justin sat up slightly in his chair. He was worried that maybe Lance wasn't comfortable. Maybe he was in pain again. He had to wake up to find out. Justin was finding it hard though. For some reason his mind wouldn't clear. His limbs felt heavy, difficult to move. He was only slightly aware of a minor ache in his right arm. It felt like he had had a shot.
This confused Justin. Why would he have been given a shot? Something wasn't right. Something was severely not right. He knew something was wrong with Lance, and his current state of confusion gave him the distinct feeling that something was terribly wrong.
Fighting with all the will power he had, Justin raised his eyelids as far as he could, each one feeling as if it weighed a ton. Through the haze that was his vision, Justin could make out two forms near the bed, the figure on the bed thrashing back and forth. Justin's heart beat increased. One of the figures had a syringe, while the other fought with Lance to hold his arms down.
From his position, Justin could see the syringe. It was empty. The plunger pulled back as far as it could be. Air. Air was in the syringe. Justin didn't know much about medicine, but he did know that that much air pumped into Lance's vein's would cause his heart to stop. Justin had to move. Call out. Something.
With all the energy Justin could muster, he rose from his chair, undetected by the two men fighting with the weakening Lance. Justin knew he couldn't fight them. His mind was too fuzzy, his limbs to heavy. Glancing around the room, looking for something to help him in his mission, Justin spotted the nurses call button. It was hanging from it's cord, thrown across the table close to him in the struggle.
Justin quickly grabbed for it. Pushing the red button on the controller, the button used in case of an emergency, he felt relieved that help would be there quickly. He just had to distract the men long enough for help to arrive.
With another burst of energy, Justin threw himself at the figure closest to him. Unfortunately, it wasn't the one with the syringe full of air, but it would have to do, his muddled mind told him. Just a few minutes. That's all that he needed.
"Shit." He heard one of the men curse, as he and the darkly clothed man fell to the sterile floor of the hospital. In a tangled mess of arms and legs, Justin struggled with the man. He couldn't see very well, and what he could see what doubled, making it harder for him to fight the larger man, unsure of which was the real and which was the double.
Justin felt a pain in his side as one of the men's fists connected with his ribs. Another connected with his stomach, knocking the wind from his lungs. Justin continued to struggle with the man, watching Lance out of the corner of his eye when he could. Despite his injured side, Lance was putting up a hell of a fight with his attacker. But Justin could see that he was very weak. He was loosing ground quickly. 'Where is everyone?' Justin thought, kicking out at his foe.
Justin deflected another fist from the man he was fighting with, the adrenaline clearing some of the cobwebs from Justin's mind. Justin glanced back at Lance in time to see the man press a large hand on Lance's injured side. Lance cried out in pain as the man dug his hand into his side.
In his haste to remove the man's hand from his side, Lance struck out against him, knocking the syringe from his hand. The glass shattered to the floor. The blinding pain in Lance's side threatened to cover him in darkness again, but he fought it, as fiercely as he fought his attacker. Lance didn't see the man pulling another syringe out of his pocket.
Justin saw it though. As the light glinted off of the clear cylinder, Justin could see the liquid in this one. Justin wasn't sure what it was but he knew it couldn't be good. Justin was loosing his fight, his opponent gaining the upper hand, pinning him to the floor.
Justin watched helplessly, struggling futilely against the man above him, as the other, smashed his hand once again into Lance's injured side. Lance started to yell out in pain, but his voice was quieted by the man's hand over his mouth, as the other hand plunged the syringe into Lance's IV. Almost instantly, Lance visibly lost the ability to move. His limbs slowly stopped struggling against the man beside him.
Tears slipped out of Justin's eyes as he watched his love slip into another plane, without him. Justin jumped, his eyes flying to the door as three nurses, one a male, burst into the room. His call for help, only a few minutes before, had been heard.
The two men quickly pushed their way out of the room, knocking two of the nurses over as a third, the man, yelled for security and took off after the assailants.
Justin quickly picked himself up from the floor and ran to Lance's side. "They put something in his IV. I don't know what it was." Justin told the two remaining nurses frantically. His eyes spilled their tears as the nurses quickly worked to remove the IV from Lance's hand. Their work was useless though. The steady beeping of the monitors turned into a high pitched steady tone as it flat-lined.
"Call the doctor. He's gone into cardiac arrest!" a nurse yelled, beginning CPR.