| Title: Of Past and Present Author: Kitsune Spirit Warnings: Flashbacks, Angst, Death, slight violence, shounen Ai, romance, R for Kalen's life story. 'What is the kitsune? At the bottom for some reference, it will help you understand why Kalen acts how he does sometimes* Part 20 ~Circumstances~ Kalen peered down from his propped up position on the bed; he laid on his side a hand against his head, propping it up as his free hand stroked Zechs's hair as he slept, gently tangling in the colored locks. His mind wandered back to when he had first met the boy. Almost two years ago now, Zechs had been 15, a far cry from the happy, less timid person he was now. Kalen tried to forget his life before he met Zechs, not caring to think back to then. The memories had lived with him each day for the last sixty years. Kalen leaned down, brushing his lips against Zechs's forehead, sighing happily into the colored strands of hair. Their first meeting hadn't been great, after collapsing from hunger and pain he had woken up in a warm bed days later; his surroundings were different to the cold streets, and he had panicked; he had tried to move only to feel pain. Since he and his brother had been taken over sixty years before, he had been on the streets, hiding from human touch or gaze, scared witless of what might happen to him. Five years after they escaped the experiments, his brother had left him; he was insane then, hating humans with passion, the pain he had been through numbing his pain now; he didn't feel a thing, only hatred. Kalen was glad his brother was healed now, happily in love with a human like himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Kalen had listened in the room, he cracked open his slitted eyes, the light low, his gaze slowly focusing in the darkness. He let his senses roam the air, smelling and recognizing the scent of a human. He panicked but was unable to move. He had closed his eyes, slitting them slightly when he felt someone enter the room before walking over to him, sitting next to him. He tried not to wince as wounds were treated and felt water run into his dry mouth, a gentle hand stroking the hair from his face. In the soft light he recognized that it was a male, young in his years, a soft soothing expression on his face making him want to trust the man, but he was too afraid. Hands smoothed his hair and covers were lifted over him, the light shut off, and he relaxed enough to sleep. It was some days later that he was strong enough, and able to get up; he found the human to be away and walked around the apartment, getting used to his surroundings, checking for danger. His ears twitched as he rubbed them, his senses stronger, his tail flickered out behind him, almost wagging, grateful for the freedom. So lost in his thoughts, he hadn't heard the door open and had turned to find the human staring back at him, dropping his bags as his eyes wide. Kalen snarled, baring his fangs, hands coming to fists as he approached the boy who was backing away. Soon he had the human pressed up against a wall, claws ready to slash his throat; the boy, however, didn't fight. He stood there calmly, fear clearly showing, but he didn't react or speak; he just let Kalen decide what he was going to do, knowing he couldn't stop the fox before him from killing him if he so decided, even in his ill stasis. Amber eyes darted to Zechs's own, searching hidden depths for truth; he had caught Kalen's gaze steadily, letting all his emotion show. Lowering his claws, Kalen gripped the wall, an urge of dizziness catching him as he swayed. He was grasped in arms that almost toppled under his weight and was dragged back to the bed, lifted and laid on it. "Why?" he whispered, although English wasn't his first language; he had picked it up from wandering the earth. Hands soothed him, a wet towel placed on his head as he swallowed the refreshing water. "You were sick," came the softly spoken voice; he had looked up into the glistening green orbs partially obscured by black hair falling around his face, noticing vulnerability and fear etched into his features. "I couldn't let you die, no one deserves to be hurt." Hands caressed his ears gently, rubbing the soft fur soothingly; standing up Zechs left the room, Kalen's senses picking up the smell and sounds of quietly falling tears. So much had happened between them. When he was better, Kalen had left without a word; he had taken clothes and food that Zechs had given to him. Unknown to Zechs, Kalen had silently watched him, studying him as the days passed. He was unable to keep away; he recognized how alone Zechs was, even though during his stay he had mentioned of his older brother fondly, he learnt during his stay that the rest of his family were dead, killed in a car accident and their grandmother had recently died. Like Kalen he only had his brother left. Kalen felt an unnatural bond with the human, both different yet the same in ways. After two weeks, Zechs had given up on ever seeing the fox again; he had researched myths and found the man to be an ancient kitsune. He had smiled slightly being the first to have seen one up close and personal. Arriving home from school, Zechs entered his shared apartment to find Kalen standing uncomfortably in the living room, gaze darting to him and then to the floor. For the next two weeks, this had continued. Kalen would arrive at dinner times when Zechs was at school, and ate the food and changed the clothing that Zechs had left for him. Kalen didn't know why the young human helped him so much but was thankful. He showed one night and they had sat together, talking little, but liking the comfort the company allowed them. Kalen had stayed in the spare room, leaving before Zechs had awoken and eventually over the months that passed, he stayed more frequently and then never left at all, he silently missed the boy when he was away but too afraid to tell him. Everything he had ever liked, loved, or known had been killed or had left him, and he was scared his presence would get the boy hurt. Many nights they would both awake from the nightmares plaguing Kalen; they had followed him around the world; he was never free of them. After a dream one night, he had cried. The dream had passed through the slaughter of his family to his brother's insanity to his loneliness. Soon the dreams included the young boy but he would find him dead, slaughtered. In this dream, it had been almost real, and he had rushed into Zechs's room to find him still breathing. He had slipped closer, afraid of waking the boy and being yelled at. He listened to the boy's heart, noticing it was beating faster than it would if he was asleep. The boy snuggled further into his pillow before pulling back the blanket in silent response, asking and allowing. Kalen eventually slipped in next to the boy, stiff at first before an arm slipped around to comfort him, relaxing into the hold. He had slept the rest of the night without another dream. Weeks had passed after this, Kalen slightly better. The dreams still plagued him but were comforted by Zechs whenever he awoke. He would watch him, silently reveling in the boy as if he was a safety net just for him; he helped him, tried to make him talk, and Kalen felt himself beginning to trust the boy. One night, the anniversary of his family's murder, Kalen had broken down; he cried over the loss and had told Zechs what had happened, all of it. He had expected the boy to turn away in disgust, but he was brought into warm arms, which hugged him, soothing him. He felt safe; he knew Zechs wouldn't hurt him; he liked the human, feeling he truly had a friend. One night he had awoken to caressing hands playing with his tail; he tensed at first before letting the human's scent soothe him; opening his eyes he watched the human in slight amusement. Zechs, feeling eyes on him, pulled away blushing. "I'm sorry, it was just so soft, I..." he moved away slightly looking down at his hands, playing with the bedsheet nervously. One thing Kalen had learnt about the human was that he was very sweet, shy, and innocent. He had the urge to protect him without knowing why, not feeling anything like this since his brother. "It's ok," he had whispered, smiling, the tail brushing against Zechs leg smiling gently. "It was nice." No one had stroked his tail in such a gentle way since he had been a young kit, watching the fire with his mother as father came home from hunting with Kisei. They had been so happy then. The hands wavered before picking the tail up again and softly smoothing the auburn and beige fur, sending shivers down Kalen's spine; he was shocked that it was having such an affect on him. Zechs had fallen asleep, one hand grasping the tail gently, the other a hand. Kalen had smiled. A proper smile. For some reason, he felt safe, loved. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kalen moved on the bed, propping his pillow up to gaze at his lover, moving the hand from where it had become tingly from the position. He grinned, remembering back to the time they had shared their first kiss. ~~~~~~~~~~ Over the next six months, they had both become good friends, no longer scared or shy of each other. Kalen realized he shared Zechs's keen fashion sense, noting how the boy bounded around in black and leather, plus anything in-between, anything different from others, frankly, he was a Goth and Kalen thought it was cute. He wondered how such a shy boy could wear some of the things he did. Piercings were in his ears now, shining and dangling when he moved. By now Zechs had also taken to hair dye, only a streak of red crossed his hair then, different from the many streaks of red and blue streaking through his ebony hair now. It gave him an individual look; he was making a statement, even if he was still incredibly shy. Rushing home from school that day, Zechs had dropped his bags on the floor. He ran into the room where Kalen had sat reading, tail batting gently. Looking up, he had noticed the happy look on Zechs' face. "I passed, I passed them all!" Zechs grinned, dancing around on the spot looking incredibly kawaii. He had stood tugging on his arm to make him calm down before paper was thrust at him. "I passed all the exams!" Zechs cheered again, pulling the man into a hug. "Thank you for helping me in some of the classes, Kalen-sama." Not only had Kalen helped Zechs in some classes; he had been teaching him parts of Japanese. He would often hear Zechs ranting at his math problems in Japanese before coming to him for help. "It was a pleasure, Zechs," he said, smiling and returning the hug. He felt happy for the boy, but knew it would mean moving if he left for college; somewhere deep inside he prayed the boy would want his company; it was unbearable to think he would be lonely again. A pained look had crossed his face, unable to turn before Zechs saw it. "What's the matter, Kalen?" Zechs asked, moving to stand in front of him. "Nothing, Zechs, I'm happy you passed." He smiled falsely, turning again to move. "Onegai, please tell me what's wrong, have I upset you?" Zechs feared he had done something wrong; he was so scared of losing Kalen; they had become good friends, and he had developed a crush on the kitsune, blushing nervously whenever he would smile at him. "Nani? Iie, of course not...I was just thinking...when you leave for college... what will I do then?" Zechs smiled shyly. He took a hand between both of his and smiled up at him. "Come with me, hopefully?" he smiled shyly, dropping his gaze to the floor. "I...I'd like that very much, Zechs" Kalen had answered truthfully. Zechs looked up again smiling happily; his black and red locks sweeping into his line of vision from the movement only to be swept back again by Kalens fingers. They paused before his cheek, cupping it softly, almost not touching, his thumb rubbed over the cheek as Zechs's blush grew, eyes widening as Kalen's lips met his. They brushed gently, sweeping back and forth before they were gone, in their wake leaving a very embarrassed kitsune standing there. "Zannendearu, Zechs, I shouldn't have..." He was stopped as lips were pressed timidly against his own, eyes closing as he responded, slipping his tongue out to caress a quivering bottom lip; Zechs's mouth opened shyly to allow the tongue in. Hands were slowly moved over arms, holding Kalen as his tongue slowly touched Zechs's; bathing it before Zechs responded and delicately caressed him with his own. Parting, Kalen looked down on the blushing boy, holding him closely, a hand stroking through his hair. He closed his eyes before taking a chance. "Ai...Ai shiteru, Zechs" he whispered; never before had he said it, or had reason to say those words except to family members. It wasn't the same though, he was a kitsune, almost a hundred now, and still not mated, he had always felt more lonely especially the rise of the moon making his needs stronger, having to stay from Zechs from fear of hurting him. On his own, he never had the urge, but surrounded by Zechs every month had primal urges calling; he would leave for the whole cycle to protect Zechs, but maybe one day, he would be allowed to mate him, to join, to claim him as his own. The animal urges surfacing slightly now made his blood boil. "I...I love you to Kalen," was the whispered response. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kalen smiled fondly at the memories, wrapping an arm around his mate protectively. /Mine/ he thought, snuggling into his lover's neck, breathing in his scent. Even now, Zechs hadn't changed much. He was still the loving, laughable, shy, vulnerable boy he had always known, still blushing at any sexual innuendo he would deliver. Worse when he got close to his cycle, dragging him off to mate when around friends, gallantly threatening anyone who so much as looked at Zechs during those days. Otherwise he was carefree, not caring who was around but still getting slightly jealous, but always watching protectively. His need to protect his mate surfaced more when threatened the instant with Blaine a few days before had made a primal urge sear. /Protection/ The protection of his mate was the only thing on his mind. /Mine/ he thought again, growling softly, letting his senses check for danger though he knew there was none. He pulled Zechs into his body tightly, rousing the body slightly, making him shift to curl into his arms as he remembered their first actual bonding. ________________________________ ~What is the Kitsune?~ 'Kitsune is an animal supposed to be mysterious, Fascinating, and mischievous. And he is believed to be very grateful for the kindness done to him, as seen in many tales, and is also affectionate as revealed in some dramas. He is enshrined as a god because of his supernatural power. He is endowed with the subtle art of metamorphosis. If someone offends what a kitsune considers 'correct', they can become evil, malicious, and disruptive. If someone behaves according to their ethics, they will become polite, kind, and helpful. If a kitsune is treated well, they will respond in kind, and may even go out of their way to aid their friend, while if they are treated poorly, they become extremely spiteful. Kitsune try to follow their promises and personal word of honor. If a kitsune breaks their word, or somehow dishonors themselves, they become very self-destructive. A kitsune's emotions are a weapon against a kitsune. Sorrow or guilt can paralyze them, and in the most extreme, it can kill them. A kitsune can be blinded from the darker side of a person by being treated well, and will be loathe to harm or work against those they have declared friends. Freedom is very important to the kitsune. They do not accept being forced into something they do not wish, and do not like being bound or trapped. Doing so weakens the kitsune. This information is from this site: http://www.utdallas.edu/~dprice/kitsune/kitsune2.htm I have put it here so you may know a little about them, but isn't to important for the story. |