One time but always more Farferello remained silent as the door to the apartment shut, at the present moment in time he was locked up in his usual straight jacket. The others had only just left, a mission he wondered briefly, deciding they didn�t need him he�d been locked up for his own safety. They�d figured out the padlock on the jacket would stop him. So much Crawford didn�t know he thought, his mind swirling thoughts and memories, this was one of his brief occasions he wasn�t cursing god. Bending and shifting he took a thin wire he�d concealed earlier and began work on the lock. Being flexible and double joined. Plus being able to pull his arm out of join helped him to escape. Schuldig would often find him unlocking himself in the morning but hadn�t told Crawford, he believed it was to have something on him. The �I know something you don�t know� comment flashed across his mind.      Finally unlocking himself he snapped his arm out of joint and continued to shrug the item off his shoulders. Once down to his waist he set about the straps on his legs and feet. Once done he kicked them off and stood. Seizing himself up with the opposite wall he rammed his shoulder into it with a loud �CRACK� his shoulder popped back into the socket. Many ways he thanked himself he couldn�t feel pain. /that would have hurt/ he giggled. Although he managed to get out of the jacket it was impossible for him to leave the room. /I�d be a crispy critter if there were a fire/ he giggled. /that�d hurt god to/ Looking around his cell, he moved over to his cot. All sharp implements had been removed so he couldn�t harm himself if he did escape but no one dared look through his desk draws. After Nagi got his fingers almost snapped off by a mousetrap the boys had decided to leave Farferello with that one thing of who knows what was in it. Pulling it open he placed his hand in and trailed it to the very back. Pulling open the secret compartment he had found one night he withdrew a small black bag. When his hand withdrew it was bleeding. Like usual he�d scraped it on the rusty nail protruding from the inside. Dropping the bag and its contents to the bed he brought his hand up to his mouth and licked the blood away, his lips coming away red.      As he looked over the contents of the bag he began to strip. First his shirt and then his bondage pants soon followed the pile he was making on the floor. Boxers came next and slowly he crawled onto his cot turned bed and stretched out. No one knew about his secret nights. He barely had them; he was never usually left alone or at home to do this. It�d been over 6 months since last time and he growled in anticipation. Everyone saw him as the insane psychotic Irishmen and where that was fine he also had other human needs. Sifting through his bag he grin widened. /this will hurt god, make him weep, make him cry�/ He excitedly turned onto his stomach, dropping everything onto the floor in handy reach and took out his first item. Lube. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Unscrewing the cap he placed it n the side and pulled out a few more things. His single eye flittered over the objects. A variety of sex toys, clamps and other things to make him groan. /Hurt god�fun�/ Placing them on the floor next to his other things he got to his knees and gripped the bed frame with a hand as one moved to stroke himself. Fingers stroked over his pink nipples. One hand tugging at a silver hoop in one of them. He groaned delightedly at the pleasure it caused, and soon took the other hand off the rail to stroke his cock. He moved his hand slowly along the length as his hand moved to pinch and tug at his nipples. Small jolts of pleasure passing through him. He pinched harder as the hand on his erection began to work faster, giving himself firmer pumps to his already aching arousal.         Groaning the hand at his chest moved down his body to join his other hand, tugging together once before one slid down and around. He pinched a globe of his buttock hard as his fingers slipped into the crease. One hand stroked along his pucker in maddening circles, teasing his opening, a finger squirming in so slightly. His other had continued to tug himself before he removed his hands to rescue the lube from the floor. Placing some in his hands he coated his cock and then his fingers as they again slipped around to caress his pucker before one slipped in. He arched into the hand jerking himself and groaned loudly. His teeth bit into his scarred bottom lip as he pushed in a second finger. He didn�t really need to stretch himself, as he couldn�t feel pain. But it was all part of the mind numbing torture. /h-hurt gooooooooooddddddd/ He panted, as his movements became jerkier. Feeling to close he slowed his hand down, stroking his cock slowly, teasingly as the other hand continued to stretch himself with long pale fingers. The hand at his cock moved to caress his hardened nubs again, teasingly moving over the front of his body. From his cock to hard nipples and back again. A third finger entered and he arched his back; a soft whimper left his lips. Soon he needed more and withdrew his fingers on a groan of disappointment. The others would never believe he was capable of this. They didn�t even think he had feelings. His insanity though real was not as bad as they assumed it was he allowed them to believe he was incompetent. They let the guards down around him; sometimes he wondered if he should laugh of thank them for doing so.       Grabbing his vibrator from the mass of toys on the floor, he lubed it and began to tease his hole with it, not really pushing in just teasing the opening. Turning the speed up a bit faster, he began to slowly insert it -- pushing it in slightly and pulling it out again. This was the only kind of fucking he�d had, and somehow knew if the others found him a virgin they somehow wouldn�t believe him. He supposed he couldn�t blame them. They expected him to have been abused more than mentally when he was in the insane asylum but honestly he�d either repulsed or scared the people in there to much to try anything. And though many would doubt it, he truly hated rape. Although it was a game of power, feeling strong and like you own the person, even he couldn�t bring himself to do it, no matter how much it would hurt god. He felt that was the last part of humanity he had in him. Groaning and writhing as he knelt, one hand grasped the bed rail the other pushing the thing slowly into him. Each thrust and removal drove him higher and higher. When he had the prosthetic all the way in, he began a slow rhythm, sliding it in and out of his body, aiming for his prostate every so often to increase the level of his arousal. His grip tightened on the rail as he thrust himself back onto the thing. His back arching to meet the implement. When he reached the point where pleasure bordered on pain for any normal person he began to thrust in earnest, aiming for his prostate more often than not. The hand not occupied with the vibrator moved from the rail and began to pluck at the hard nubs of his nipples pulling on the silver ring to punctuate each caress against the pleasure nub inside him. He started to feel the orgasm build within him, and turned the vibrator's speed up. Over the soft sound of the gentle buzz, he heard a voice. "Would you like a hand with that?" Crawford asked from the doorway to Farferello�s room, his voice low and husky. Farferello looked over to see his teammate standing in the frame of the door, smiling, his eyes dark, and very obviously aroused. "Crawford!" he squeaked, his hands stilling. �That�s me Farf." Crawford grinned walking into the room and stopped next to the cot, standing over Farferello who tried to do fifty things at once. First he tried to scramble away, cover himself, remove the object and think of an excuse for being out of his jacket and pleasuring himself. Before he could do either of the things he felt a hand haul him down to the bed and press him into it. One hand kept his back down as the other reached the prosthetic still in Farferello�s body and with his own hand, Crawford slowly began to move it again. Farferello�s eyes went wide before he arched his back under the hand, whimpering as the thing began to jab into him, teasingly stroking his prostate before moving away. Crawford knew exactly what he was doing. In his pleasure filled haze before he hadn�t heard the bolt of his cell door withdraw and then the door click open, to allow one Brad Crawford entry. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Crawford had come back to the apartment after a very quick kill. He�d thought it would be much harder but the target was dealt with within seconds. Schuldig had said he was going out to get drunk but Crawford knew he was going to see one of Weiss. Though Schuldig had tried to keep it a secret, you couldn�t keep things from people who saw the future. Schuldig fucking Yohji Kudou was one of the things he hadn�t needed to see. Nagi like Schuldig had also gotten himself a lover of Weiss. The young genki kid with the crossbow�Omi he remembered. Shrugging them off he wandered home, almost jumping for joy knowing he would get to deal with a pissed Farferello for not being allowed his fun for one night. *Sarcastic much?* however when he arrived home he didn�t expect to hear groans of what he thought at first pain. And so in a very un-like Brad manner. Crawford quickly walked to Farferello�s cell and unlocked it. He should have done a double take�Farferello in pain? He wasn�t ready for what he saw.        When he entered before he spoke he caught site of what exactly was making Farferello groan. He instantly became hard. /what the fuck am I thinking? Just leave he hasn�t noticed/ But when Farferello started to push the vibrator harder into himself, thrashing wildly Crawford couldn�t stop himself. "Would you like a hand with that?" He heard himself say. The instant Farferello heard it he froze, head-whipping back to look at him in slight terror of being caught. As he walked over to him he couldn�t stop the grin spread across his face. /so that�s what he gets up to when alone?/ Moving he pressed Farferello back into the covers, his hand closing around the instrument in him and pushing. The wail of pleasure that left Farferello�s throat vanished any doubts of that he shouldn�t be doing this. Farferello�s head turned to look at him awkwardly as he lay panting, his eye flickering closed whilst trying to remain open. "Let me help." Crawford said before leaning forward to kiss Farferello. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Crawford didn�t know what made him lean forwards and kiss those pouting lips, the fullness of them plus the light pink scar, and slight trace of blood enthralled him. He didn�t taste horrid, or of blood like you would have thought. Farferello�s taste was rich, creamy. Crawford's free hand pulled Farferello�s head closer as his tongue dipped in to taste him further, stroking his briefly and then leaving. Crawford still unsure if he�d be bitten. As quickly as it had started it ended. Crawford pulled back from Farferello and released his hold on the toy. Farferello stared at him panting as he stood, now even more confused as to what was going on and why Crawford was touching him in such away when their usual contact insisted of him being locked away. His confusion was alleviated when he saw the oracle begin to unbutton the shirt he wore, jacket long taken off. He watched as Crawford removed each piece of clothing and stared at the body that was revealed to him.       It was the first time Farferello had ever seen Crawford this bare�he�d only ever seen him shirtless once in all the time they�d been working together. Crawford moved back to the bed to join him, once again his hand on the toy, but this time instead of using it he began to remove it as he kissed Farferello. When it was fully out, Crawford spoke. "You don't need this anymore." Dropping the thing onto the floor besides them Crawford turned Farferello so he lay on his back. Looking into the fluttering eyelashes of Farferello�s single lidded he leant down again and gently sucked one nipple into his mouth, flipping the silver ring as he did. "Brad!" Farferello gasped, his back arching "Too close." Crawford looked up and into Farferello�s liquid amber gaze and ran his hand down to fondle the erection that pressed against his leg. Enjoying the sharp intake of breath from the usually quiet *unless ranting about god or killing* man below him. Farferello gave off a very unnatural whimper and arched into the touch. �Fuck me�please�� he pleaded, and watched as Crawford�s eyes darkened with lust. Crawford nodded and picked up the discarded tube of lube and squeezed some of the stuff onto his hand. Farferello spread his legs for him, watching him intently. At the start of the night he never thought that this would be happening. Crawford positioned himself at Farferello�s entrance, and braced himself with a hand to Farferello�s hips. �Now Crawford� Crawford lined his cock up with Farferello�s waiting hole, then very slowly began to push inside. The Irishmen�s hips arched off the bed as he felt Crawford fill him. He groaned at the stretching caused by Crawford's erection but felt no pain. He groaned, hands fisting the sheets underneath him as Crawford imbedded himself fully.       As Crawford began to move Farferello�s grip tightened in the sheet, his hips thrust up to meet the on-coming thrusts as he was pounded into, the jabs hitting his prostate on almost every downwards thrust. Crawford leant forwards again as his movements became faster. One hand gripped Farferello�s hip as the other started to twist and pull as the silver hoop in his nipple. Soft thin lips met his own and his mouth was forced open by a tongue. He whimpered into the mouth, as Crawford thrust and his eye closed, body arching off the bed as he came hard with a scream. Calling Brad�s name as he came.     Crawford came moments later after a few more hard thrusts into Farferello, then collapsed against the madman. Neither one moved for a while. They just lay, their bodies intertwined, as they caught their breaths. Finally Crawford shifted and rolled off of Farferello. After untangling himself, Crawford lay there panting slightly from lack of breath. "Crawford?" Farferello questioned. His voice was husky and slightly slurred. "Yes, Farferello?" "What just happened?" "I fucked you." Farferello rolled slightly so he could look into Crawford�s face. "I know that. But...You never said anything...Why?" �We both needed it, I wasn�t about to go ask Schuldig now was I?� The comment hurt but Farferello nodded. �What now?� �Now�we both get dressed�the others will be back soon�. The comment bit at him, but he again nodded. He watched as Crawford got up, wiping himself clean on a nearby piece of clothing before he got dressed. Turning, he walked back to where Farferello lay and took his chin into his hand. Leaning forwards he kissed the scarred mouth before leaving without another word. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Over the next year this continued. When Crawford needed sex, Farferello would give it to him. If Farferello wanted it, he had to wait. Somehow it was kept secret even with a telepath in there midst. During the time they spent together, usually it was just sex, ending the same way it always did, Crawford leaving Farferello�s room to get dressed before the others came back, whenever alone they had sex. Crawford liked it that way. However Farferello didn�t. He often wanted more, wanted to be held instead of ignored until the next time like nothing had happened. Although neither really changed, Farferello found himself cursing god for other reasons. During that year he�d fallen in love with Crawford. Against all odds he had, he hadn�t thought himself capable but those few caring gestures on Crawford�s part had wormed their way into his otherwise stone heart. And now he experienced emotional pain from being turned away, many times during sex he had to gag himself or bite his lip so he didn�t declare his love. He knew Crawford only wanted a quick fuck and it hurt him.        Within the year many things had changed. Schuldig had left Schwarz to be with Weiss�s Yohji, although his disappearance had been suspicious, many thought they had killed each other but Farferello would often feel something at the back of his mind which felt like the red headed German. Nagi was still seeing Omi and Weiss had gone. It was no more. Ran Fujimiya had been killed in a battle with one of Takatori�s many other hitmen, friends and gangster counterparts. Many hadn�t thought the day could happen when the katana wielding redhead would fall, this was however not before he had plunged the sword into Takatori�s throat, killing him. The sound of Ran�s laughter had echoed through the room before he was shot down. The other member of the group, Ken Hidaka, had been distrait at the loss of his lover. After two months of being alone he had killed himself, only Omi remained where he was but soon he was to leave with Nagi. To go back to Japan for good. And Farferello�he didn�t know where to go, or what to do. His love for hurting god had slowly dwindled, and he realized that by doing nothing would hurt god more, before it just empowered him, but now nothing seemed so important. He knew he would have to leave, and would be alone. Nagi had offered him to come with them as long as he didn�t kill but he�d refused. He knew he would have to be alone again. The small things he had, had packed away, sold or just left behind. Grabbing his bag he had left the note for Crawford. The writing sprawled in a haste to get what he wanted to say out before he left.   Now he sat on the plane travelling back to somewhere he hadn�t been in almost three years. /home/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Crawford wandered through the now empty apartment looking for his Irish lover. He dropped the bags under his arms and paced, calling out. �Farfie?� He got no reply and went into Farferello�s room. Noticing it was bare he panicked a little, looking around. Crawford had been out, to the travel agents to be precise. He�d picked up two airline tickets to Ireland. He was unsure if Farferello would have gone with him or liked the idea, but he hadn�t wanted to separate from the man he himself had grown to love. Over the months Crawford had also fallen in love with the silver haired man. At first it had just been about sex for him. But over time he found himself wanting to protect the man and to be with him like it was their last ever time. However Crawford hadn�t told him. He didn�t think there was room for Farferello to love him back and from the way Farferello acted he thought that he�d never feel the same way.        Retracing his steps he walked over to the bed where they had spent much time together, and for the first time he noticed the piece of paper, laid curled, half hidden by the cover. �I�ve gone�though you probably know that if you�re reading this. You may not care, but over these last few months I did something I thought impossible. I fell in love with you�ridiculous as it sounds I did. I couldn�t face the disgust on your face if ever I told you. I know I was for fucking and that was it, I accepted that as it was all of you I could have. But now I can�t face saying goodbye to you Brad, so I�m leaving. I knew this day would come after everyone else has gone, we are no longer needed. So before you can leave me I�ve left you. You don�t need to see me again. I hope you�ll have a happier life from now on, and find someone who deserves you, like I never could�.� Love Jei Brad sat dumbfounded as he crumpled the letter into his hand. A tear slipped from his dark eyes as he re-read the note. /he loved me�he thought I hated him�you idiot Crawford/ Crawford clutched the note to his chest as more tears fell. �Oh Farfie�Jei�I�m sorry�. Standing Crawford walked silently out of the room. Grabbing his suitcase from the corridor he got in the taxi outside. He vowed to himself he would find Farferello/Jei and put things right. �I just hope he�ll forgive me� ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3 months later. Jei grinned under the UV flashing lights; colours swirling around him as music filled the air. He sat in once of the clubs inside of Ireland, playing albums and discs for the thriving crowd on the dance floor. One hand to his headphones the other mixed the music, turning the controls the music became louder as the crowd screamed their joy. He moved from deck to deck, playing the songs in the �Passions� nightclub�here anything could happen, and Jei could tell you a few stories. At the click of midnight he swapped shifts with one of the other guys, his night was finished and he ordered a drink at the bar. After coming to Ireland, Jei had been stuck at what to do. He�d found and started to work in a nightclub, later he was hired by �passions� when they heard how good he was on the decks. The crowd loved him, he was that good, the party didn�t start unless it was his shift and the pay was pretty good. Since he�d left Schwarz he seemed to remain a lot saner. No longer did he kill at the mention of Christ, God or Jesus, or slaughter good Christians, though he did give them one hell of a scare frequently. His passion to hate and hurt god slowly broke down. His fiasco with Crawford had proved to him, he was capable of having emotions, he was capable of leading a normal life and he believed that this way he would hurt god more than if he killed all of his people. God couldn�t get to him that way.        Leaning against the bar the lights reflected off of his now longer white hair. He�d let it grow since Schwarz and liked the style. The club was booming, filled with people having fun and committing acts that god would hate. He could have his little indulgences now and then right? He dimly batted at a hand that grabbed his ass when he turned to get his drink. When he turned back he noticed who�d done it�one of the resident leeches that was still trying to get him into bed. /even I have more fashion sense/ he dimly thought, looking at the mans clothing, all Hawaiian flowers and bright colours. Totally untactful, and no way was it likely to attract him. This happened every week. His butt would be pinched, he�d try to not hurt the man and then he�d go home. Alone. Even in that time he still hadn�t forgotten Crawford. Still had his fantasies and dreams and still it would hurt his heart to think of him. Shaking his head sadly he gave the bartender the glass, a tip and then bustled through the crowd of bodies to the exit. In his haste he didn�t notice the figure shadowing him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Crawford had walked through the entranceway of the club �Passions� after 2 months of searching with nothing; he�d contacted Nagi. After sitting through the yell about being a baka and not telling Farferello at the time, the kid had given him a list of club names Farferello had worked at, and Crawford had gone to everyone, searching, getting that bit closer to him.    Now he stood looking around the dimly lit smoked filled room, the UV lights playing hell with his contacts. Like Farferello he�d also changed. His hair longer, *grown at an immaculate speed* now reached just before his shoulder line. Right now it was worn back. He�d also gotten contacts and looked very different from the Crawford he was before.       As he entered the dance area he looked around, blinking a little as the fog and smoke hurt his eyes. Loud music filled the room and he looked to where it was coming from. /JEI!/ His first instinct was to run over and see him, but he knew by doing that he�d be ignored, or possibly kicked out the club. And so, regretfully he had watched. Watched Jei�s lithe movements, how the leather and mesh he was wearing clung tightly to his body and how his hair, now below his ears swung wildly, reflecting off of the lights like a light in the darkness. His heart lurched. He was excited and thrilled to have found him but worried that he�d be rejected. He was afraid. When Jei�s shift had ended Crawford had followed him to the bar, keeping in the shadows. He had to bite his lip and curl his fists to not yell out, walk over and beat the shit out of the man who touched HIS Jei�s ass. Even though he knew Jei was no longer his, not unless he could solve this problem. As Jei turned to glare at the man Crawford melted, Jei only looked more beautiful in the time that had passes and he was desperate to talk to him. Touch him. Even if he was yelled at or hit. Right now he didn�t care.        When Jei left the bar he again followed, keeping closely in the shadows. Jei had been a good killer, an excellent ruthless assassin but he didn�t know much about stealth; Crawford though had mastered it. When they reached outside, the chilled air hit him. He quickly followed behind Jei before calling out. �Jei� ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jei turned at the use of his given name. He�d never told anyone his name and still went by Farferello. As he turned his jaw dropped and the pain came flooding back. �C-Crawford� He looked different, longer hair, contacts, and his clothing was totally�suggestive. /how did he find me�what does he want?�he can�t hate me that much can he?/ Crawford took a few steps closer; he held his breath as he took in Farferello, awashed in the soft glow of the streetlight. �Jei�Jei I�� Jei shook his head and started walking again. �Leave me alone Brad I don�t want to hear it�you had no reason to come�. �Please listen to me Jei, let me explain�. Jei turned, his single amber eye blazing angrily at him. �Why should I Crawford! We have nothing to discuss, I left for a reason, I didn�t leave so you could follow and yell or laugh at me� he continued to walk away until he was spun around by his arm. �Why would I do that Jei?� a pleading brown-eyed gaze turned on him. �Because you love me?� Jei turned his face so he wasn�t looking at Crawford anymore, his longer white hair sweeping down to cover his eyes. �I don�t anymore, so leave me alone� Crawford moved closer, turning Jei�s face to look at him. �Are you sure about that?� he asked. �Please let me talk to you Jei, let me explain�. The amber eye saddened looked at him. �Why? So you can lie to me more, so you can hurt me, when you made me feel more than hatred before?� he stood, holding himself rigid. All he wanted to do was let himself listen to Crawford, forgive him but he didn�t want to be hurt again after fighting it for so long. Since he had left Schwarz he had changed, gradually he became different. He hadn�t killed anyone for almost 4 months, and he hadn�t been in a fight. He seemed to settle here when before it was torture for him. But now he was faced with Crawford and he didn�t know what to do. �I�ve never lied to you Jei, you left that day before I could get home. I�d brought tickets for us to return here. I was hoping you�d stay with me Jei�. �STOP LYING TO ME� People around them started to look and stare in question, receiving glares from Crawford as they did so. Crawford took Jei into his arms who struggled before he slumped. �I�m not Jei� he whispered. �I love you�please let me explain�talk to you�that�s all I ask�please� Jei no longer able to argue let himself be lead to a car. The door opened and he was sat in it, belted, before Crawford moved to the passenger seat. �Thankyou Jei� ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They arrived at Crawford�s rented apartment in a small amount of time. Reluctantly Jei got out of the car and watched Crawford with a glare, amber burning into him as they walked. He couldn't let himself fall for anything; he�d tried to stop the emotional pain. Like before he couldn�t feel physical pain but his heart breaking had enough pain for both. He followed Crawford as he was let into the apartment. Coming to stop in the living room area. �I�ll prove how much you mean to me Jei� Brad whispered. Jei didn�t comment, he just stood. Waiting. �I won�t deny it Jei, I treated you like a bastard. But over the months I grew to love you�I think I did for longer than I truly realized. He stopped when Jei turned slightly, and moved forwards to grab an arm. �Please let me finish�� letting the arm go as Jei turned to look at him he continued. �I was a bastard, I know that�but over the months I grew to love you. I didn�t tell you because I was afraid of how you�d react. I wasn�t sure how you felt about me and before Schwarz broke apart I was so close to telling you. The week before Nagi and Omi left I was organizing things for us. I was organizing tickets so we could come here together. So you could go home�. The snort of disbelief drew his attention. �JEI IT�S TRUE! Please� I�ll show you�. With that he left the room swiftly, Jei could hear a door open, shuffling and then close again. Crawford re-entered the living room with paper in his hands. �This is the air line ticket. Look at it, the date!� Jei did look; it was dated the very day he left. He looked up at Crawford to see the sheen of tears covering his gaze. �I love you Jei, it�s been why I�ve searched everywhere for you, all over Ireland. If it wasn�t for Nagi I wouldn�t have found you�. He walked over, and stood just in front of him. �The day I got those I was going to tell you, you�d already gone�you�d already left me before I could and I hated myself for not telling you sooner. I was going to give you this to prove to you, how much I cared�. Jei watched as Crawford slipped something from his pocket. He single eye focused and noticed it was a ring box. Once handed to him, he opened it. Inside was a Claddagh, an Irish ring of friendship and forever love. He moved his gaze to search Crawford�s own and only found truth in the darkened depths. The Claddagh by his standards was a great show of love and he wanted to believe Crawford. He�d been so lonely the last months. Where he was before comforted by his revenge for god, it no longer seemed so important. �Even if you can�t love me again Jei, please think about it�� Jei opened his mouth to speak only to be met with Crawford�s plea. �Please think about it Jei, just tonight, please�if you decide you can�t even be my friend after this, please just think it over for tonight, and if you decide that, I will leave you alone for good�. He met the pleaded gaze and nodded much to Crawford�s pleasure. Keeping the ring box Jei followed Crawford out of the room; he was shown a room to be his for that night and the bathroom. �If you need anything�� Jei nodded and entered closing the door behind him. Crawford lay his forehead flat against the cool wood before he went off to his own room. He needed a shower; he smelt from the nightclub and was repulsed almost by it. He entered and closed his own door, preying that Jei would forgive him. If he couldn�t be with him as a friend and lover then he preyed they could at least be friends. �I love you Jei� he softly whispered to himself and went about his bathing process. Meanwhile Jei lay on his bed, his arms propping him up from the pillow as he thought. /I think I love him�no I know, I never stopped�he never lied to me before, just to scared to say anything�I�m so confused�it was so easier before/ He thought about everything he�d been told in those moments and closed his good eye to think. He did love him, and he needed him. Sitting up slightly he took out the ring from the box and turned it over in his hand, the inscription inside caught his attention. �Forever� Turning it again he just stared at it before placing it on his finger. The positioning of the crown and the tipped bottom would mean something. He knew himself which way meant they would be friends or lovers as well, whether he was free or spoken for. He just had to tell Brad which he�d chosen. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Slipping quietly in Jei sat down on Crawford�s bed, waiting. The shower was still running and he thought he�d wait for a while or he wouldn�t be able to talk to him. He looked around the room bathed in shadows. The only light from the street lamp and that of the shower. He laid his clasped hands in his lap, the silver glinting off of his ring. As the shower stopped Jei turned to the door, tucking hair behind his ears. He didn�t know why he�d let it grow long. Maybe to look less like Farferello from before. He didn�t know.      Brad turned off the light and slipped into his room after pulling the towel around his hips. He ran a hand through his slightly wet hair, which was slicked against his skin and turned on one of the lamps near his bed. He almost jumped out of his skin when the soft glow filled the room and he saw Jei. �J-Jei� He stumbled with his words and stood uneasily in the doorway. �Is there something wrong?� he moved further into the room and stood just to the side of Jei, but not to close. �No Crawford�I need to speak to you�Sit please�. Crawford�s heart beat faster and he could almost hear Jei tell him to shove his love. Nodding he sat down a little away and looked to him. Jei stood and began to pace. Coming to a stop in front of him. �I do love you Crawford, and you did hurt me, a lot. It wasn�t intentional I know, but I don�t know if I could go through it all again�� �Jei please�� Jei gave him a stern look. �Let me finish. I�ve been thinking, I know we both never expected me to say that but I have. I�ve come to a conclusion, and it won�t change Brad�. Crawford nodded his eyes cast down, he couldn�t see Jei when he said he wanted nothing more than maybe friendship and was surprised when his face was grasped in a pale hand, turning him to face the man before him. �Do you know the meaning of this ring Brad?� Crawford thought�. �A sign of meaning, friendship and love?� he wasn�t entirely sure of its whole concept. �Kind of�it means that but it also has meanings of how you wear it�. He stroked his fingers over the bronzed cheek slightly. �When the crown is worn towards the heart it means you are unspoken for, but if the hearts pointed tip points towards the heart you are spoken for, and that is an eternal love�. Crawford listened, and after a moment he grabbed Jei�s hand, looking intently at the ring. �Jei�. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ �Oh Jei� he�d looked and according to what Jei had told him, he was spoken for. �I promise I�ll never hurt you again, just please never leave�. Jei crawled forwards and pulled the man close to him, his eye closing and heart thumping at being so close to Crawford again. �I won�t Bradley, if you promise to never hurt me�if you do I will hurt you�. �I know, and I�ll do everything to make this work. I promise�. He held the younger man close as a tear trailed down his cheek. Something neither of them thought would happen. Jei pulled closer as his fingers ran into Brad�s long hair, loving the feel of being so close to someone, to Brad. He smiled and pulled away slightly, looking at Brad�s happy shining eyes he gave a smile. Not one of his old insane sadistic ones but a true happy one as he leant in to kiss the elder man�s cheek. �I love you Jei�. Brad whispered, his cheek moving to the kiss, he�d so missed Jei�s touch. �As I you Bradley�. He then stood and left Crawford�s arms much to his amazement, but relaxed when Jei pulled off his shirt and riffled through Brad�s cupboard before flinging pants at him. Slipping them on Brad watched as Jei walked closer and was again taken into a hug. His eyes once again closing �Lets sleep�we can figure out what fully to do tomorrow�. Nodding Brad sighed as Jei removed himself and crawled onto the bed and lay back. Brad smiled and joined him, crawling once again into his arms. In all the time before they�d never been like this, never once held each other closely. Cheek to cheek Brad felt Jei�s breath against his skin. Wrapping his arms around the Irishman he pulled him close, tightly holding him to him afraid to let go. �I�m not going anywhere�and neither are you, goodnight Brad�. Crawford lay still, breathing in Jei�s scent, still hardly believing he was with him. �Goodnight Jei� ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End� for now� ~so should I follow this up with a nice reminding lemon? *Hentai giggles*~

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