Lawyer Joke |
| 10 Husbands, Still a Virgin | |
| A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten
husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" |
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they
were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain
showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay
overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he
noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the
hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying,
and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your
room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she
sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it
that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"