good, the idea was to watch some butt kicking good times jackie chan flick.
What I got was the Medallion. Now i didnt PAY alot of attention to who was
saying what, because i know when the guy gets hit in the nutz, falls on an
object that crunches his nuts, jackie gets bitz slapped by an uptight asian
girl wearing enough make up to make you think shes from the soft core porn
industry and definately shouldnt be playing lead or even 2ndary roles in a
hollywood movie, that Im supposed to laugh, and to cry when jackies pet
ant/rock/dog/ugly friend/uncle or in the best of all worlds jackies uncles
dogs ugly friends pet rock dies.
Ok, I know my early Jackie Chan flicks, hes done some quality work, and
does alot of nifty stunts, and some serious ass beating going on, I mean
thats what he does, and does well, to a lesser extent hes good at physical
slapstick comedy, and portraying americans as evil in his early works, and
obviously we must be, as we have replaced the russians as the evil empire,
so be it... Being a white male im used to abuse like that, and for all the
suffering we dish out we can take being eeeeevil without bitching and
moaning too much, gotta have a sense of humour and all (unless you work for
the ACLU/PETA/DNC/RNC then you are uptight about everything) (Nurse Ratchet
to ER for stick removal, Nurse Ratch...)
Now back to the movie, the amount of ass kicking is pretty regular and
limited to stuff you have seen before by this guy, nothing impressive, the
dialogue is not only unwieldy the sidekick is named watson, typical uptight
male brit and the hysterical intercultural comdey we failed to laugh at in
the other dumb movies making the rounds has been adjusted to brit/asian
from the typical black/white team up movies.. Billions and billions of
yawns, maybe this movie had a message other then we gargle with donkey
balls, but if they did I dont know what it was, I left after the first 40
minutes thinking damn i coulda been dling porn, playing video games, or
punching myself in the balls. All of which are more attractive options then
finishing watching this film.
Story 1
Ass Kicking 2
Blowed up(fx) 2
Acting 2
moving rating 1 (actually im guessing the full movie gets a 2 but since i
could only stomach half of it only gets 2 x 1/2 == 1)