Jeepers Creepers 2
type Horror
Rated R
Often times when discussing a film several key components magically come together and create a film far better then the director and arthor could ever dream of. The talent of special effects, a particular actor, of the natural beauty of the scenes or cunning work of the people who create the sets overshadow the festering mound of puke that is Victor Salva.
Without going into something truely horrific like the exact details of what Salva likes to do with young boys and spent some time in prison for. Anywho I guess who better to write and direct horror films then a monster?
Well ya think a monster would have some better first hand accounts of attacking and molesting local townsfolk to come up with a better storyline then was originally presented in Jeepers Creepers. The Storyline follows any teen slasher flick you have ever seen, boy HS athlete meets ghey boy HS reporter, Athlete gets upset at boy reporter for not getting enough ink (possible some prison term for being screwed blued and tattooed by yer cellmate). Then athelete pees on boy... Now Im not a fan of the entire 'ghey cinema' but this sure as hell seems to be the opening scene from one.
Additionally the girls in this film do not follow the general Horror/slasher time honored tradition of taking thier tops off. In fact from the alledgely super ghey grisly super natural predator unleashed on some unsuspecting sexy ghey teens in the film has an undeniable thumbprint of sucking ass, and not in the good way either.
Now anywho to help drive his story and pretty gimp storyline about this predator he takes an unsuspecting cheerleader (good start good start) and then makes her pyshic (umm ok maybe) and then let her see dead people... hey wait a second that movie has already been done Mr Salva and I dont care for your punk ass lusting Haley Joel... Osmond? (Im not much of ghey pedophile or a fan of pretty dull films ok) or something like that you filthy minded pervert, damn your eyes. Additionally why arent the cheerleaders wearing their skimpy outfits unless the ghey director thought it might detract from his homo erotic thriller?
In general the logic is iffy, the motivation for all the characters is pretty lousy, and the plot lines of teen angst, racism, and blatant man boy loving is disappointing to say the least, also the fact the 'monster' off the film gets off eatting random unamed objects off teenage boys shows that Mr Salva has still not conquered his attraction for younger men, just booted it up from 12 to 16, kudos to you Mr Salva, soon you might even consider loving legal people you perverted limp wristed fuschia wearing dickless wonder, I hope an aids infested flea riddled mangy monkey permantly attaches itself to your rectum. (For the record I had to look up how to spell fuschia).
Anyways the entire movie is an offense not only to physics, the universe and God, but also to John McDonald of Newark. Why being speared through the head and subsequently ripping 1/4 of ones head off is less damaging then going through a winshield for a demon is beyond (perhaps demons have something against saftey glass and it causes them to become a gimpy child molesting director? I dont know).
MMJ says, 'Wait it can eat only once every 23 years for 23 days? Talk about livin the high life!"
MSBNGJ says, "Just because your a filthy monster doesnt mean you have to dress like a hobo."
MAJ says, "Now let me get this straight, cheerleaders, horror film, but no gore, no blood, no alcholol and no skin.... gheyest horror flick ever!"
RJ says, "Beware angry backwoods farmers."
PLOT :: 1
Acting :: 2
Blowed up (fx) 1
Ass Kicking 1
OVERALL 1