�Lead Pipe to the Medulla Oblongata� Pick.
Did you play my Tampa pick last week? Whut?! Are you still comatose?! You dumb sonofabitch! I told you to take the Bucs and lay the 3. How did that work out? Like 25-0, right? Two weeks in a row I�ve picked the fave, laid the points, and come up a big winner. Know why? Because that�s what I am. A big winner.
Now, for the 3rd week in a row, I�m going to take a fave and lay the points. First though, lemme say that I hate this week�s card. Far too many high (7+) point games. That said, my pick is one of them. Not so fast snapperhead. I�m getting to it. I just want to give you some insight into the sheer freakin� genius that is my handicapping strategy.
Now, I liked New Orleans getting 1 pt against the Bears. But, that�s not my pick, turtle testicle! I ain�t taking them for a combo of reasons. Repeat after your Unc; �never take a dome team, on the road, outdoors, on natural grass�. Sure, the Saints are 8-5 on the road ATS vs. NFC teams the last 2 years. But, something tells me this is a sucker�s line. And, I would really like to bet against the Bears because I believe, as my Nephew Bills does, the Bears are a fraud. Also, their coach�s first name is Dick. And, my grandfather, Samuel T. (What does the �T� stand for class? No, not �Turdhead�, it stands for �Touchdown�) always said that any man who wants to be known as �Dick� is one. Contemplate that for a minute. Now for my pick�
Take the defending Super Bowl Champ New England Pats at home versus the Chiefs. Yes, I know the Sheridan Line has the Pats giving the Chiefs 9. I don�t give a shit. Lemme lay a whopping stat on ya, crank yanker, the Pats are 4-0 ATS vs. KC since 1995. I have no idea what Dick Vermeil is doing with them Chiefs other than trying to get �Judas� Priest Holmes a rushing title. Take the money you would typically spend on crack this week and put it on the Pats. Lay the points. And, be ready to cash in on The Unc�s sage advice for a 3rd straight week.