#1- No Bathing, Laundering, or Grooming of any sort whatsoever!
#2- No Cleaning or Tidying of the Ship, Especially the Loo.
*Such foul business may prove necessary on rare occasions, as when the corridors are full of garbage to the ceiling and passage has become impossible. On these occasions cleaning shall consist of shovelling excess garbage into the airlock and jettisoning it into space. Absolutely no mopping, scrubbing or polishing will be tolerated!
#3- There Shall be no Spitting on the Deck, as it Makes the Flooring Slick and Being Made to Look Foolish by Slipping and Falling Down in Front of the Crew makes Supreme Overlord Baybun very Irate. Crewmembers shall Spit on Each Other instead.
#4- There Shall be No Bad Pirate Imitations. Saying "Aaarrrh, Mateys!" more than Once a Month is Punishable by Flogging.
*Parrots, however may be tolerated; particularly obnoxious, noisy and incontinent ones.
#5- Wearing any Pastel Color-especially Pink, Fuchia or Lavender-or Bringing any such Colored Object on Board is Punishable by Death.
#6- No Nice, Pleasant, Friendly, Cheerful or especially CUTE Behavior will be in any way Tolerated. All Crewmembers must be at the Very Least Bad-Tempered or Antisocial. Pure, Vile Evil is Preferred, so long as it Recognizes Supreme Overlord Baybun as its Master. |
