| J BRACKET Match 1 - Stacey Ailshie Merlin vs Popeye Okay, here's your little flash of light thing-y. Popeye is in the castle. Since he has no clue why he's here or what he's doing he figure's he'll waste a little time dancin' his feet around, and practicin' a few punches. Then, he hears a voice from behind. "My dear man, what on earth do you think you are doing?" Popeye turns and replies,"and what's it to-s ya?" His horrible squint makes it difficult to really make out who he's dealing with. "Oh, don't waste my time. I must move on to better things." Merlin rolls his eyes and reaches for his wand. Popeye, a quick thinker, retrieves a large can of spinach. Confused Merlin watches. Popeye opens the can and takes it all in, in one gulp. Before Merlin puts two and two together he is being pummeled by this rude little specimen. Unfortunately Merlin's interest in the can of spinach caught him off guard. His vision starts to blur and everything goes black. Popeye can feel the strength pulsating through his body. He feels unstoppable. So, while he's got the energy, he does the old kook in. Winner: Popeye Match 2- Mark Ailshie Lady Jessica vs. Human Torch A man streaks like a comet over the night sky of Camelot. The peasants look up and gasp at a fearful omen. But one lovely woman stands serenely on the tower, watching and waiting. Jessica will need some time--she will need to correctly modulate the Torch's voice patterns, so she can duplicate it and command him to his death. The Human Torch lands in the court yard, and the peasants scream in terror. Jessica steps calmly into the yard and faces him. "Human Torch, I presume?" The Torch just stares for a moment. "Are you this 'Lady Jessica'? This is hardly a fair fight." Jessica resisted the urge to smile. She just had to keep him talking. "What makes you think this will be easy?" The Torch laughed. "Are you blind? You have no strength and no protection. I'll toast you in seconds." "Turn off your flame," commanded Jessica. The Human Torch complied without thinking about it. "Come here," said the Bene Gesseret Reverend Mother, drawing a crysknife. The no longer flaming Torch approached her. "She's commanding the demon!" shouted one of the peasants. "It must be Morgana!" With a cry, the entire peasantry surged forward. Jessica thought qickly. "Torch! Carry me to the tower." The Torch picked her up and ignited in flame and carried Jessica to the tower, where he put her down. Of course, by then, there wasn't much left of the Lady Jessica. The peasants cheer "Burn the Witch! Burn the Witch!" Winner: The Human Torch Match 3 - Brian Ailshie Kail vs. Chucky Again there are two flashes of light. Each deposits a warrior into the drafty corridors of castle Camelot. The first warrior is tall and dressed in black from head to foot, except a mask covering his face as a knight's visor, the mask of the dead - a skull! He is General Kail, Queen Bavmorda's chief soldier. His opponent is dressed in bright red overalls and has a maniacal smile on his face, a trace of blood on his lips. He is Chucky, possesed doll of horror show fame! Kail strides through the hallways and chambers of the castle, searching for his foe. THERE! He sees something dash behind a door and follows it in. A young medieval maid is in the wrong place at the wrong time and Kail runs her through. With one hand he lifts his mask and wipes the blood from his blade with the other. Suddenly from behind a chair the crazed doll charges. His fingers claw at Kail's face. The general jumps back, surprised and kicks at Chucky. However this too fails the evil general and he finds his leg wrapped in doll clothes and little plastic teeth biting into his leg. Kail howls in pain! Lashing out Kail grabs Chucky by the hair and hurls him through the air. The doll hits the wall and slumps to the ground. Kail starts toward him to finish the job. However, before he takes two steps Chucky charges again. This time Kail is ready and he impales the doll on his sword, spins him around and thrusts the sword into the door post leaving Chucky hanging in the air. Kail laughs cruelly and shakes his hand above his head triumbphantly. Look at Chucky! He wriggled himself off the sword and pulled it from the wall. He takes a swipe at Kail and scores a hit on his waist! This doll is indestructable! Kail doubles over and kicks Chucky again. Again he flies into the wall, this time however the over-sized sword slips from his grasp, and hack his arm off at the shoulder. Reacting quickly, Kail lunges for his sword and finished the duel. He hacks over and over until Chucky is not much more than stuffing, torn thread and bits of plastic. Winner: Kail, General of Evil Match 4 - RJ Harris Nightcrawler vs. Hercules It was a peaceful day in the English countryside. Although he had never been here before, Nightcrawler had seen pictures of the British Isles and had heard the legends of King Arthur and his famous Knights of the Round Table. He was also intrigued to meet a Greek myth in battle. After receiving much training from Professor X, this mutant knew how to use his powers in any situation; however, his opponent was not what you would call ordinary either. Nevertheless, as the seemingly small blue devil strolled around the courtyard of Camelot, his yellow eyes were peeled for anything just as strange as himself. From a "humble" beginning as yet another son of the mighty Zeus, Hercules had grown up well. A list of his accomplishments was almost as long as Mt. Olympus was high. As he walked down the corridors of the huge castle, he was very intrigued. Hercules had never been in any building this large that was not a temple to one of the gods. Yet the very low mountains that surrounded him now as he strolled to the open doors of the courtyard, did remind him of home ever so slightly. Once Hercules was in visual distance of Nightcrawler, the X-men member shouted: "Ach, du are that Hercules, ja?" The strange sounding accent startled Hercules at first, but his warrior instincts forced him to draw his sword without another thought. "Come, you fiend!" Hercules retorted, "Let this battle begin. May the gods have mercy on you!" With that said, Hercules descended the stairs into the courtyard, rushing at full speed to Nightcrawler. When the Greek myth was no less than a foot from the X-man, he vanished! Hercules had never seen anything like that before. He quickly turned around and saw Nightcrawler sitting on the selfsame steps that he had run down. "Hallo, are du looking fur me?" Again came another charge by the son of Zeus, and yet another disappearance and reappearance of the small blue guy. This went on for what seemed like hours to Hercules, but in fact it was no more than 10 minutes. Finally, Nightcrawler decided to end the chase. He teleported directly behind the huffing and puffing Hercules, and simply grabbed his sword, and teleported away again. NOW Hercules was ticked; he thought if he could guess where the mutant might "move" to, he might be able to shoot an arrow at him. But this too was in vain, for he only got four chances--and they were all misses. When Hercules drew his fifth arrow, Nightcrawler teleported right in front of his foe and dug his own sword directly threw the Greek hero's chest. Hercules fell dead in the middle of the courtyard. Nightcrawler didn't even bother with collecting the amazing weapons that so many others would of wanted--he didn't need them. Since the day was still so nice, Nightcrawler continued his walk as if nothing had happened; well almost anyway, for his training had taught him never to forget a battle or a foe and Nightcrawler always remembered that. Winner: Nightcrawler, of the X-Men Match 5 - Cindy Witmer Emperor Palpatine vs. Capt James T Kirk Emperor Palpatine stood stiffly on the grassy knoll and wrinkled his nose. Nature was abhorrent to him; he preferred the cold feel of metal under his feet and the hum of power from nearby generators. This place simply felt wrong to him, a feeling that made his skin crawl. Snarling in disgust, he thrust a bolt of energy through his hand and burnt a patch of flowers to a crisp, just to smell the delicious odor of death. A smile spread over his twisted features. Whatever had brought him to this disgusting, sunshiney place, he would not let it annoy him. There was great fun to be had here. Now if only he determine what was producing the strange urge in the back of his brain, the urge to destroy someone � a more powerful urge than usual, anyway. He stepped down from the knoll and began to stroll across the field, occasionally zapping a flower or two for good measure. Captain James T. Kirk, whose shirt had mysteriously disappeared once more, lifted his head slowly from where he lay sprawled on the ground. His head was pounding, but what trouble him more than that was the fact that he had no memory of how he had landed on this strange planet. Worse yet, he was all alone, with no Spock to give a logical explanation, no McCoy to check his brain for possible hallucinations, and no red-shirts. No red-shirts! He shuddered, rose from the grass, and began to look around him uneasily. If there was unfriendly life on this planet, he would be the only one to face it. He began patting his pockets in search of his communicator, but it had disappeared as mysteriously as he had appeared here. On the other hand, his phaser was still in its trusty position at his side, and that was a relief. He pulled it out and checked to make sure it was still working. He tried a few experimental shots at a nearby stone, and smiled with grim satisfaction as the stone blew to pieces. He had that, at least. Returning the phaser to his side, he stretched his stiff muscles and started examining the landscape. It consisted mostly of soft vegetation, not too different from Earth, actually, but there were no signs of life other than the occasional timid life form that bounded out of sight before he could get a good look at it. But what was that in the distance? He squinted, and then blinked. It appeared to be a settlement, made of stone, perhaps. Obviously containing intelligent life. Making sure his phaser was ready, just in case, he started off towards the structure, wondering why the image of an ugly old man in robes kept popping up in his mind. Palpatine sneered at the stone building before him. He could sense the teeming masses of life within, all of them full of useless ideals and hopes and dreams. It might do them some good to see a few of their numbers die painful, agonizing deaths, but first he had to find this shirtless fellow who fluttered about his brain, insisting to be killed. He could tell he was not among those in the building, so however much he would like to perform a little carnage and destruction, he would have to find the man and take care of him. If there was anything he couldn't stand, it was a thought that wouldn't stop nagging him, and this was one of the worst yet. Speaking of nagging....the man was coming near now; there was no mistaking that itching feeling at the back of his brain. Palpatine could sense his presence, coming up behind him, as tangibly as the feel of metal � which coincidentally, the man seemed to be holding tightly in his hand, as though metal would do any good against Palpatine. The power-mad Emperor cackled and whirled about to face him. "You!" Kirk exclaimed. "You're � the man � in my brain!" Palpatine's smile drooped slightly. "Yes," he said slowly. "And you the man in mine. But tell me, young fool, why you must talk in such an aggravating manner?" "I � don't know � what � you're talking � about," Kirk shot back, pleased at his verbal prowess. The Emperor hissed. "Stop doing that!" "Doing � what?" Palpatine ground his teeth. Even if he had had no peculiar urge to kill this man, merely listening to him speak was enough for him to want to zap him then and there. But easy deaths left a sour taste in his mouth. He preferred to watch his victims suffer for a time, play with them, make them think they were winning, and then � snap! Catch them up like a spider snags the grubs foolish enough to fly into its web. Kirk was tired of waiting for the Emperor's answer. Some people could be so slow-witted! Now was the time for action; he had never felt such a need to kill a man as he did now. Clearly, this old man was quite evil and must be destroyed. He reached for his phaser, a lightening quick movement. Palpatine raised his hand almost lazily as he anticipated the young fool's movement and snatched the weapon right out of his hand. He ignored the man's shout of astonishment as he threw the weapon to his feet and rendered it useless with a quick zap of power. "How � did you � do that?" Kirk gasped, staring at the old man's wrinkled hands, from which actual lightening had appeared just moments earlier. "Such � a thing �is not � possible." "Young fool," Palpatine smiled sadly. "Your pitiful skills are no match for my powers." Kirk was getting the strangest sense of deja vu, but he shook his head and ignored it. "The name � is Kirk," he said stiffly, "James � T. � Kirk." "Emperor Palpatine." The old robed man smiled pleasantly and bowed; though with his set of teeth, it could hardly be called anything but hideous. "Now why don't we get on with this, Kik?" "That's � Kirk," Kirk corrected indignantly. "And I'd be � happy to � get on with � this." Palpatine chuckled inwardly. This rash young Keek had no idea what was in store for him. Even after seeing his weapon zapped to pieces, he still thought he could defeat Palpatine. He took a perverse pleasure in watching the look of determination on the young man's face as he came running towards him, letting out a fierce yell. He did nothing to stop him, remaining standing in place until the last minute, when he stepped aside and allowed the fool to smash straight into the stone wall. Just in case he wasn't humiliated enough, Palpatine briefly zapped him and smiled as he cried out in agony. "Well, well," Palpatine laughed, "not so sure of yourself now, are you, Kark?" He chuckled at the sight of the writhing young man and wiped his hands with satisfaction. All too easy. Kirk grimaced in pain, but he wasn't going to let thisold fogy get the better of him for long. So his weapon was destroyed. He still had his fists. Rising slowly from the ground as Palpatine turned away for a moment, he clenched his hands into tight balls and smacked Palpatine in the face. The Emperor's head swam. He had gotten too confident; he let his guard down too long and gave the young man a chance to attack. He clenched his teeth, furious with himself and furious with Kirt. No matter. As soon as his head cleared, he would finished the brass young fool off for good. Kirk nodded in satisfaction at the old man's disorientation, and took another swing at him. This time, however, Palpatine was not caught by surprise. In a movement that was shockingly fast for someone of his age, he snatched up Kirk's hand in an iron grip. Kirk gasped at his hideous strength, but the worse was yet to come. Sharp pain began to shoot up his arm and spread throughout his entire body, and he realized, to his horror, that Palpatine was sending some of that lightening directly from his own hand to Kirk's. Being shocked was, to say the least, unpleasant, and probably deadly. Fortunately, the force of it was enough to knock him to the ground after just a few moments, and the connection was broken. He lay there, gasping and shuddering, and glaring at Palpatine with his hideous grin. "You � are � a monster," he managed to say. "Of all the � beings � I have � encountered � in my journeys � you are � without a doubt � the most � evil." "And you," Palpatine responded, casually stepping closer to his writhing form, "are surely the most annoying creature I have ever met. Excepting, perhaps, that Gungan with the high-pitched voice, but that's another matter entirely. At least he didn't � take � a pause � between every � other � word!" Kirk blinked. There was something very familiar in the way Palpatine was talking, but he couldn't quite place it. No matter. If he did not use all of his resources to get himself out of this mess, the Enterprise would be without a Captain. And who would settle those disputes between Spock and Bones? It was simply unthinkable. Drawing on the last bit of his strength, he pulled himself up from the ground and faced Palpatine. Now he was the one with the stone wall to his back, which could prove to be an advantage. This Emperor, he mused, really was a rather short, wrinkled little thing � hardly human. Perhaps he was one of those god-creatures, wasting away from his own power. Pity that he had to destroy him; Spock would find him fascinating. This Kork fellow was determined, that Palpatine had to admit. Perhaps he could use him to his advantage � perform a few mind-tricks and have him under his power. But no, he decided, there was this urge to kill him that he could not ignore, and besides, his pauses he insisted on making every time he spoke would surely drive Palpatine mad. No, he needed to destroy him. "Young fool," he said softly. "Only now, at the end � do you understand." Kirk shook away the feeling of deja vu once more. "You � cannot � just kill me," he protested. "You have � no cause � to kill another � life form." It was somewhat hypocritical, of course, since he had every intention of killing Palpatine, but then, he was evil. Kirk, on the other hand, was quite good. Why should this Palpatine want to kill him? Palpatine sighed. "You bore me. You provided some small amusement at first, but all your entertainment value has run out. I intend to put you out of your misery." Kirk turned pale, but tried to maintain an outward calm. "I � am not � afraid � of you." He attempted another blow at the old man, but was quickly blocked by another zap of lightening, this one so powerful it threw him against the wall and smashed the back of his head. He collapsed to the ground. Palpatine frowned. Was he really dead? He nudged the motionless form with his foot, and got no response. Kirp did not seem to be breathing. He ground his teeth. That had been no fun at all! Far too easy. He had wanted to play around with him a little more. Palpatine sighed. No matter. There were plenty more people to kill, and plenty more fools to dance around on his strings. Winner: Palpatine Match 6 - Robert Newell Samus vs. He-man Samus felt slightly out of place. The building that she was in was definitely man made. It was also very old. She took stock of her armaments: full missiles, full, bombs, full energy. From down a corridor, she heard someone yell, "I HAVE THE POWER!!!!" She went to investigate. He-man rode down the corridor on his trusty friend and mount Battle-cat. With his sword and strength there was nothing he couldn't handle. Samus saw He-man coming from a long way away. The man she saw looked ridiculous. He was waving around a big sword and wore next to nothing. His mount was even stranger, a green tiger wearing red armor. Samus charged up her plasma-wave beam and fired. Her aim was slightly low and hit Battle-cat in the face. His head incinerated instantly. He-man fell to the floor with a cry. His good friend had just been killed and he saw Battle-cat's murderer ahead of him. With a snarl he leapt up and charged Samus waving his sword around his head. Samus was already ready for He-man. She had switched her primary arm-cannon to a spazer-ice-wave beam. She had already charged it by the time He-man got up. When He-man reached to within ten feet of Samus, she fired the beam which swept the entire corridor, freezing everything in it's path. He-man was frozen in place, with his sword less than a foot from Samus's head. He-man shattered under a quick punch by Samus. Strangely, his sword did not break. Samus decided to take this strange sword with her. Winner: Samus Match 7 - Robert Newell Spiderman vs. Jackson (Sniper in Saving Pvt Ryan) Spiderman was moving quickly through the castle. His opponent was a sniper, so he did not feel safe standing still. He would have to act quickly and find this guy before he or any innocents got shot. As he was swinging through a large feasthall, he felt his spider-sense go off. He immediately dropped off ofhis web strand, just as a bullet traveled through the space where his head would have been. In one fluid motion Spiderman, turned around, saw Jackson, and shot a glob of webbing at him. The webbing flew straight into the barrel of Jackson's sniper rifle. Spiderman chased Jackson down a corridor and out onto a balcony. Spiderman leaped at Jackson and grabbed his rifle. Jackson fell to the ground, rolled backwards, and kicked Spiderman in the chest as he let go of his rifle. The kick sent Spiderman off of the balcony, plummeting down hundreds of feet. Jackson sat down, winded, relishing in his victory. He didn't even know what hit him as he was thrown off the balcony. Unfortunately for Jackson, he could not catch onto the vertical walls like Spiderman could and had done. Winner: Spiderman Match 8 - Alexander Strub Goliath of Gath vs. "the Undertaker" It was a sunny day as usual at Camelot. King Arthur and his knights were off on sabbatical, searching for the Holy Grail or a shrubbery or some such. Little did they know what was happening back at home. The Undertaker was a little too warm. He liked the sun, but this much, all the time? Wearing all black doesn�t help either, draws those UVs right in. At least he still had his sunglasses. They really make the look. Black bandanna, black t-shirt, black pants, right down to the beard, every bit a pro-wrestler. Every inch seemed to say "I'm going to tear you apart and eat your liver." But sooo hot! Suddenly a shadow fell over Undertaker. Finally, nice cool shade. Maybe some clouds blew over. Wait...overcast? On a day like this? He stroked his macho wrestler goatee for a second before turning around. "$*#*!" the profanity slipped right out. "What are you man?" gasped Undertaker as a stared up at a huge giant, at least nine feet tall. The behemoth man only glared at the now insignificant wrestler. The strange giant was clad from top to toe in brass armor, had a long, straggly mop of black hair and a huge pitch black beard. He had a spear as long as a small flagpole, a sword almost as large as undertaker was tall, and a shield carried behind by a man similarly clad who seemed to be struggling to even hold it up. The big man finally answered. "Am not I a Philistine? I am Goliath of Gath! I defy you! Come, and we will fight together, and I will feed your flesh to the fouls of the air, and the beasts of the field!" The Undertaker had barely a few seconds to consider this request before that weaver's beam of a spear passed through his bandanna-clad skull all the way into the grassy sod. Score one for the big guy. Winner: Goliath of Gath ROUND 2 Match 1 � Mark Ailshie Popeye vs. the Human Torch "Well, look at what a flamer this guy is, eh? Why don't you take a rock right in the head there?" So mumbled the sailorman under his breath, without moving his lips, the way he does in the early cartoons. Then he punched one of the blocks of the parapet on which he was standing, and sent it crashing down onto the flaming torch. The Torch barely evaded it, and it crashed to the ground beside him. The torch leaped into the sky and circled the tower. "Oh, Oh! I think I made him mad!" Popeye shot to the staircase, trying to reach the ground. The Torch flew after him, and chased him into the hall way. But there, Popeye had disappeared. Torch stood confused a moment, and the suit of armor behind him opened it's visor. With characteristic cartoonism, Popeye had leaped into the suit of armor, even though it usually takes a good fifteen minutes to put all that stuff on in real life. The Torch saw the pipe sticking out, and blasted him with fire. "Whoa!" shouted Popeye, but he was well protected by the armor, and the fire only made it warm for him. He punched the Torch in the face, and knocked him back out to the open wall. But the Torch shook his head and recovered. When Popeye lifted an arm to attack again, the Torch seized him around the shoulders and flew him high into the sky, tossing him outside the castle gates. Popeye landed on his face in a peasant's garden, and fell right out of his armor. He landed with his face right beside a familiar smelling green plant. The Torch thought the match was over, until he heard the music. "Oh no. Anyone with theme music that overpowering couldn't be dead yet. Torch returned to the peasant's garden, and was met by an iron cauldron flying through the air and striking him in the head. He was hit so hard, that his body bounced against the castle wall, and he slumped to the open drawbridge. Suddenly, Popeye was in the moat beside him. He took his pipe out of his mouth and wound up his arm as if it were a rubber band. Then he let it go, and put his arm into the moat. His tiny pipe shot several gallons of water at the Torch, extinguishing him. The dripping Johnny Storm blinked the water out of his eyes, and tried to run, but Popeye was a bit too fast. One huge spinach-enhanced pummeling later, and the Human Torch is just a broken body floating in the moat. Winner: Popeye Match 2 � Mark Ailshie Kail vs. Nightcrawler General Kail Stretched and blinked his eyes. He felt somehow different this morning. He felt an aggressive hunters instinct which he hadn't felt in some time. And he felt an overwhelming urge to kill some blue-skinned freak named "Nightcrawler." "Can it be my turn again at last?" wondered Bavmorda's General. It had been nearly a year since his triumph over Chucky waaaaaaay back in week one. He donned his skull helmet, drew his sword and went hunting. Outside, something had the peasants in an uproar. They were running about with torches and pitchforks yelling something about an evil demon. Kail shook his head. Peasants. But then, he saw that they were chasing a blue-skinned freak with a long tail, who was actually running on the side of the wall. "?Must be my man" thought Kail, and moved into position. Nightcrawler was getting sick of these peasants. They couldn't catch him, of course, but they sure made finding this General guy difficult. But suddenly, a skull-masked figure tackled him off the wall! Nightcrawler was so surprised that he didn't teleport away in time. Kail rolled to his feet and charged him. This time, Crawler vanished and appeared behind him. Kail whirled and spotted him. "You are quick, monster! But now you die! Hrooowwr!!!" Kail charged him, swinging high. Crawler sprawled to the ground and kicked his enemy hard in the knee. An unpleasant popping sound caused Kail's war cry to become a scream of pain. Nightcrawler finished the job with a flipping kick to Kail's chin that tore his mask off, and sent his neck snapping entirely too quickly to stay unbroken. "Almost too easy," smiled the X-man. But then, the peasants spotted him, and the chase was on again. Winner: Nightcrawler Match 3 - Brian Ailshie Emperor Palpatine vs Samus Samus looked carefully around the corner. Still no one in sight. She had looked for hours around this castle. The dark-robed old man who haunted her mind was no where to be found. Well, nothing to do but keep searching. Perhaps in this next room, Samus thought. Opening the door she saw an immense throne room. In the middle of the room stood a round stone table. Beyond that was a small dias with a rather simple throne on it. Most important, sitting in the throne, the old man. "Young fool, only now do you begin to see. You have searched all this time for you're own death." Suddenly, Samus felt her throat begin to tighten. She couldn't breathe! Clawing at her mask, she stumbled forward. At the same instant her left hand found the release of her mask, and her right touched the stone table. Instantly the pressure on her neck was gone. Tossing her helmet aside, she leaped to the table wrist cannon blazing. Amazingly, chairs and other objects leaped to intercept the blasts of energy. Scowling the old man raised his hands. Suddenly bursts of lightning erupted from his outstretched fingers. Samus jumped aside so quickly that she didn't see the bolts stop just short of the table she had been standing on. Too bad too, the next blast didn't stop short, and her metal armor was a pretty good conductor. In moments she was toast. Winner: Emperor Palpatine Match 4 � Alexander Strub Goliath of Gath vs. Spiderman Goliath stood smack dab in the center of the gates to Camelot, shouting and bellowing for his opponent to face him and waving his huge weaver's beam of a spear menacingly. Not one to beat around the bush is he? Peter Parker, on the other hand, had never seen someone so big. All he could think of was Rhino, and wasn't even in the tournament, let alone 9 foot 6, like this guy! Spiderman decided to creep above by wallcrawling, and then spin some webbing over his enemy's head and trap him. He proceeded to crawl along the wall till he was above the giant Philistine. Suddenly the situation froze, long enough for a short "My Spider Sense is tingling!" cutscene. Sure enough, Goliath had noticed our Webslinger, and was busy prodding Spiderman with his spear, which he would have noticed earlier if it were not for the cutscene. Spidey's mask was even torn partially away by the sharp blade. Luckily, Spiderman has stamina, and hadn't lost too much blood. Spidey shot some webbing to the top of the gatehouse to try to swing out of Goliath's reach, but a gust of wind caught him and he ended up spiraling around in circles. "HA HA HA," bellowed the monstrous Anakim warrior, "I defy you, little man! Surely there is one among all the hosts of Fantastic Rumble with spine! Let one man come out to me that we fight together! If he kills me, all Philistines will be your servants, but if I kill him, than... ARRGH!" "Give it a rest! We've heard it all before!" shouted Spiderman as he shot webbing into Goliath's face and then leapt on his huge head. That was a mistake. Goliath picked Spidey off his face and smashed him on the ground. Spiderman used his super spider strength to kick Goliath in the kneecap and cause him to fall down, which he did ... on Spidey. Goliath was hurt, but he had fractured Spidey's femur, and the poor hero couldn't stand up. He tried to use his webbing to sling away, but he was out of web fluid! Goliath took the shaft of his spear and pressed it horizontally on Spidey's chest, pinning his arms and bruising his collarbone. There was only one thing Spidey could thing to do. He looked at Goliath's fat sausage-like fingers as they gripped the spear shaft, and bit into one of them as though it were a Bratwurst. Goliath screamed in agony, and swiftly turned the spear around and dispatched Spiderman by ramming the spear�s point into his larynx, clear to the other side. Peter Parker's last thought was, "They called me 'Webslinger', but if I only had had a bonafide sling!" Goliath took the torn mask as a trophy and stuck it on his war belt. He then felt rather strange. He hopped on the wall and climbed to the battlements. If a Spider can spread his powers by a bite, than certainly why not a Spiderman? Winner: Goliath, the Spider-Philistine ROUND 3 Match 1 � RJ Harris Popeye vs. Nightcrawler Nightcrawler had dodged the crowds chsing him well enough to have some time to himself. He had done a lot of thinking and felt confident of his ability to fight in this odd tournament. Yet, he knew from his experience as an X-Man that in battle anything could happen. Popeye had been lucky--very lucky. He knew that the often mysterious creatures he had come in contact with were supposed to be much more powerful, but Popeye knew he was no wimp. Battles could be won by any party, no matter how powerful. This next opponent seemed to be another mysterious creature; thus he did have an advantage of first sighting him. Popeye was right about that--he knew he had seen Nightcrawler, as he came around a corner. "Well, I a see that this is a time to fight!" he thought to himself as he charged Nightcrawler. The X-Man saw him coming and transported away before the sailor landed a punch. "What a where'd 'e go?" "Are du looken fur me?" shouted Nightcrawler from a tower. "Komm und get me!" Popeye took the challenge literally. He took a can of Spinach from his shirt and started wailing on the tower. Of course, Nightcrawler simply transported away, but he moved one too many times. As Popeye was winding up for another monster punch, Nightcrawler transported himself too close to the sailor and was punch hard enough to not only knock him out, but break his neck. It took a moment for Popeye to realize that he had defeated Nightcrawler. "Well, that a was easy." The victorious man walked away from a X-Man who didn't even know what hit him and didn't suffer either. Winner: Popeye, the sailorman Match 2 � Brian Ailshie Emperor Palpatine vs. Goliath the Philistine The Emperor clapped his gnarled hands and a servant appeared. Palpatine motioned to the corpse in the space suit, and the servant beckoned to another outside the throne room. Together they lugged the offensive matter outside while a third servant came to clean up the mess. It wasn't enough. Something still felt wrong about this room. He just couldn't put his finger on it. Suddenly one of the windows burst open and a monster of a man actually crawled in grasping the walls and ceiling like a bug of some sort. Palpatine calmly swatted him from the wall, with the Force. After all that is what you do with bugs, right? However the blow and fall didn't kill the man. Standing, he hefted a massive spear, and hurled it at Palpatine, sitting calmly in his throne. The spear flew straight and true. Then suddenly it stopped, turned, and flew back at it's owner. Goliath reacted quickly. His strength was already great, but spider-enhanced, he was outstanding. He hefted the massive circular table with one hand and used it as a shield to stop the spear.$ Two massive strides he took toward the throne. Then suddenly a bolt of lightning streaked out from the man straight at Goliath. But just as suddenly the bolts, stopped just short of Goliath. Palpatine was worried for the first time. Finally it clicked what was wrong in the room. The Round Table had some sort of power that actually pushed back the force. So long as the giant held the table, or touched it, he was immune from the force. Palpatine knew he would have to think quickly. Despite their futility, he sent a few more force lighting bolts at the man just to keep him wary. Palpatine closed his eyes to think. Then he had it. Goliath wasn't too sure about these lightning bolts, they weren't hitting him, but how long would that last? However if he cold get to the man and throttle him, he wouldn't have to find out. Suddenly the man's eyes popped back open. An evil smile creased the wrinkled face even more. It wasn't a pretty site. Goliath stepped forward again warily. Then, it happened. A small stone leaped from the window sill and hurtled at him. His last thought as the stone struck him square in the forehead, was "I can't believe it happened again!" Just as he had predicted, the force bubble didn't stop the laws of science. 'An object in motion tends to stay in motion.' The rock had kept to it's flight path even when the force stopped pushing it. Using the Force, Palpatine drew the giant's sword from it's sheath. Luckily the table was no longer touching the man. Levitating the blade over the man's neck he let it drop. Winner: Emperor Palpatine ROUND 4 Match � RJ Harris Popeye vs. Emperor Palpatine The victor looked down and shook his head with a slight smirk on his face. The past couple of minutes had been pleasing for him. He had killed off another foe; yes, the luck of the other had finally run out. Before he left, the winner ran over the course of the fight one last time in his mind, simply for the pleasure it brought to him. Popeye had been looking for his final foe here in Camelot for hours. There were no signs of anyone that looked anything like an emperor; nevertheless, the luckiest contender continued his search. Meanwhile, Palpatine looked on from the high tower. The one they called Popeye was somewhat good, but the Emperor knew that he was no Jedi and must therefore die. He smiled a Sith-ish smile and descended the stairs to meet him. The Force that the Emperor used on the weak-minded sailor brought Popeye into the Great Hall exactly as the evil Sith placed his evil foot on the cold stone floor of the castle Camelot. Palpatine shut and locked the doors with such a Force that it startled the sailor. "Woah!" yelled Popeye, "Well blow me down, I'sa Found ya!" "Indeed, fool, you have. Only now at the end will you understand. And so," the Emperor spoke the next words with chilling confidence and arrogance, "Popeye, YOU WILL DIE!" As the Emperor spoke the last words, Popeye charged his opponent, but, alas, he did not get far. Palpatine sent Force lightning at the sailor. Popeye fell and hit the ground hard, but he wasn't done yet. As he hit the floor, Popeye saw his last can off spinach roll to the table. He scrambled for it and almost reached the lifesaver when Palpatine shot out a lightning and scorched the can. Only the stink of smoldering spinach was left. Popeye looked up and saw one last thing: the smiling face of the Emperor, Palpatine, sending a bolt of blue lightning at him. The Emporer looked down again and smiled. The match was over and he was content enough. He turned around and flung the doors open, his cape flapping around. His work was not yet finished, for there was to come another round. Winner of Bracket J: The Evil Sith Lord, Emperor Palpatine |